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How do you keep going - April 9th 2013, 07:27 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I'm typing on my phone so sorry if there are errors
How do you keep going when everything is pushing down on you? Everyone says it will get better after high school but I still. Have more than 2 years left to deal with everybody's shit. Plus I have to wait till I'm financially independent (so at least the same time; 2 years) to come out because my dad is kind of homophobic. How do you keep going how do you have the strength to get up everyday and face the world when all you wan to do is slice your wrists and lay in bed. I'm to the point where I hate looking at the mirror I hate all my friends because they joke about self harm and suicide and gay people and call people f****ts like its no big deal, we'll it is and I fucking can't take it anymore!!! How do you do it? How do you live in misery for two more years? Even though I think it will get better after that's still so long! And I don't want to have to wait! I want to be okay
   
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Re: How do you keep going - April 10th 2013, 01:23 AM

Hi, Em.

I'm so sorry. Some people can be pretty thoughtless about matters such as self-harm and being gay when it's not something to take lightly and joke about. They'll probably learn that it's pretty immature to joke about what they're joking about somewhere along the way. I'd have to agree with everyone else, it will get better after school because you'll be free. I think the best thing you could do is remind yourself everyday that you've got your whole future ahead of you and so much life to live. Hold on.

You still have all the time in the world to come out to your dad, just wait till you're ready.

Maybe you could work on recovery from self-harm? That'd be a pretty positive impact in your life after recovery because self-harm brings a lot of other negative feelings into the picture with the urges, having to rely on self-harm to feel okay (it drowns out healthy coping mechanisms), having to hide the wounds and scars, having to lie. It's not worth it, sweetie. But you have to make the choice not to self-harm, you have to focus on stopping and want to. First thing, it's really important to reach out and that's an understatement. Tell someone you care about, about your self-harm, being depressed and just not knowing how to go on. Or at least tell a teacher or school counselor, or get a therapist? If it's too difficult to verbally tell them then you could write it on a note and give it to them. Makes it easier. Then you could have support, knowing that people know and care. I think once it sets in that it'd really help you and offer you comfort. You don't have to go through this alone. In recovery from self-harm, you could use the Butterfly Project and do it for someone you care a lot about or even the Paper Stars and also use some of the alternatives from the Self-Harm Alternatives list. Remember that relapses happen and every sad feeling you get past without self-harm is a victory. It contributes towards not having to rely on self-harm.

In the meantime, you could distract yourself and try to make yourself happier by taking up a new hobby or interest, doing things you enjoy and that make you happy, just generally explore new things. Redecorate your room, create a new style, listen to music, watch tv/movies, play games, read, play sports. Do some volunteer work?

Also, try to do as many outside activities as possible or keep your window shades open while you're inside because the sun increases a natural chemical in your brain that helps induce positive emotions. Exercising also gets your adrenaline up to get you in a more hyper and happier mood, plus, it releases endorphins which is what self-harm does, that's why it's so addictive. So that's a win-win. To express yourself better, you could write in your feelings in a journal or write poems that relate to your feelings.

Hope I helped a bit, darling. Remember that things get better, okay? Hang in there. The rainbow comes after the storm and it won't rain forever. Just hang in there and do things that make you happy. Focus on the positives in your life and relax. Meet new friends that'll listen and won't judge? Hey, it'll all be okay, hun. I'm here if you need someone to talk to. Feel free to message me anytime.

H.O.P.E
Hold on,
Pain ends.

Stay Strong <3
   
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Re: How do you keep going - April 10th 2013, 06:17 AM

thank you for replying.
i am in recovery and haven't self harmed in a couple months actually, its just the mental side of it that's pissing me off. I can't get these thoughts out of my head. -_-
i also do have a therapist but i haven't spoken to her in awhile, i just don't think she can help me any further.
im trying.
   
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Re: How do you keep going - April 10th 2013, 06:24 AM

You're welcome, Em.

A couple months SH free? That's really amazing. Focus on that and be proud of yourself because that definitely is something to be proud of. You can do this. <3
   
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