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Post Wanted to clear this up. What is depression to you? - April 22nd 2013, 10:59 PM

What is depression to you?

Sorry for this, but It has been bugging me for ages now. How people assume that they know why people are how they are, and why people do the things they do. They love to think they know everything to do with you. They think that they know your life story. They believe they know, you.

And how some people have this stereotypical picture of a depressed person. And they will not believe anything else.

So I just wanted to clear this up..

People think that depression is sadness. People believe that depression is crying. People have this stupid idea, that depression is dressing in black. But these people are wrong.
Yeah, when you are depressed these may occur. But this is NOT what depression is.

Depression is the constant feeling of numbness, being numb to emotions, feelings and being numb to lie. To lie about how 'perfect' life is.
You wake up in the morning, just wanting to back to sleep. The days that go by, are not really days at all; they are just annoying obstacles that need to be faced.
And how do you face them?
- Through medication? Through drinking, drugs or smoking? Through self-harm? Through addictions?
When you are depressed, you grasp onto absolutely anything that you believe can help you through the day. Whatever that may be.

That is what I believe depression is. None of this stereotypical nonsense.
Its the overwhelming sense of numbness and the desire for anything or anybody or even anything that can help you make it from one day to the next.


That is what depression is to me, what is it to you?

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Re: Wanted to clear this up. What is depression to you? - April 22nd 2013, 11:24 PM

I agree with what you've said.

To me, depression is the constant feeling of sadness and numbness that follows me with every step I take. It's the anxiety, self-harm, and eating disorder that I face because of depression. It's like breathing underwater; it's like living in a bad dream that you won't wake up from.

I sleep so I don't mess things up. But the sooner I fall asleep, the sooner I wake up to this hell.

It's when each day feels like a year.

I totally agree, I hate stereotypes. Especially from people who have never gone through it.

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Re: Wanted to clear this up. What is depression to you? - April 23rd 2013, 02:18 AM

To me, depression is the feeling of constantly feeling unhappy and alone. Like even if you are in a crowd of people who are shouting and having a good time, you still feel like you're not apart of it and you can't find "fun" or "happiness" in practically anything. You feel like life is not worth it and that nobody cares about you. You think that everything would be easier if you were gone or dead. You feel guilty about the littlest things and either push people away or cling to them for support.

Or at least, thats how I see it. :/
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Re: Wanted to clear this up. What is depression to you? - April 23rd 2013, 05:38 AM

I agree with you completely and I hate stereotypes and assumptions.

For me, depression is overwhelming feelings of guilt, sadness, worthlessness but yet, you're numb at the same time. It just feels like you're useless, nobody wants you around or loves you. You can't enjoy anything, you hate yourself and each day you wake up to this sadness over and over again. Hard to fall asleep, hard to get up. To escape, I've tried alternatives to getting drunk to escape before (didn't work) I've never been drunk before. I've self-harmed as well.

Everything feels hopeless and pointless.

That's depression for me.

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Re: Wanted to clear this up. What is depression to you? - April 23rd 2013, 05:49 AM

Depression is insomnia, and I spend all night awake.
It has no appetite, even for fancy and junk food.
It's the constant thought that I'd be better off dead.
It's constantly planning suicide.

Depression feels awful, all the time. Like thunderclouds in my chest; like rotting maggots in my mind.
It makes the world dark, and I cannot comprehend the joy of others.

It's the place where the end won't come soon enough, but at the same time, I keep hoping for better days.

P.S. I'm learning better ways to cope with it.
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Re: Wanted to clear this up. What is depression to you? - April 23rd 2013, 06:01 AM

To me, depression is a horrible state of mind, a reaction to the unpleasantries that plague the mind.
Well, a state of unhappiness. Never having that one moment where you can say, "I feel happy", Because the next day or even minute, shit is flying around all over you. Depression is to question yourself on nearly every action and to find many things you dislike in your face. To care not if you die, and to wish that should you die, you merely bite the biggest chunk of the cookie you can and leave with knowing of peace.
Of course, this conflicts with fear of death.

Intense depression is a battle between fear of death. Once someone's reached a point of certainty of continued destruction the most obvious and perhaps only option they know of is death.

My first definition sounds casual, but you know, it is to me.
I'm really just waiting to make a friendship in school if that will ever be possible. I'm also planning to get out and work and make friends then. The scary thing is that I'm not even sure if I will make another friend. I normally make one per school year, but not this one. This is just my scenario.

What lies ahead is unknown. However, in some times, I've sighted several smooth pavements. I myself am the mender of roads, and it is with these we work on.
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Re: Wanted to clear this up. What is depression to you? - April 23rd 2013, 07:59 AM

i have the perfect defintion of depression:

i consider depression to be an emotional cancer that eats away at you untill there is nothing left inside..and suicide becomes the only solution..

for me its a hole that is inside that never goes away..it doesnt ever heal...

its kind of like you are on a train going dangerously downhill at 100 mph with no brakes..

its also like being trapped in a elevator...and you would do anything to get out
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