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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Lemon. Offline
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Unsure. - June 1st 2015, 05:06 PM

I'm having constant thoughts about it being easier for me to just end this but I haven't made a plan. I don't think I have the energy to actually act on the feelings. I don't think it's bad enough to ask for help. I feel guilty asking for anything. I'm supposed to be better or at least improving. This is all my fault.

“You always look so cool,
like no matter what happens, it’s got nothing to do with you,
but you’re not really like that.
In your own way, you’re out there fighting as hard as you can,
even if other people can’t tell by looking at you.”
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
SparklingWine Offline
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Jeez, get a life!
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Re: Unsure. - June 1st 2015, 05:54 PM

Hey there,

I'm sorry you're feeling this way. I've often times thought to myself "Jeez, this is just too hard. It would be ten billion times easier to just say screw the world." But. Easier does not equal better. Earth is huge, full of so much potential and amazing opportunities. Not only that, but experience. There is so much to live for, you know? For me, personally, I have a list of why I keep going in life-- my family, I want to see the world, I want to experience being in love, and experience meeting my dreams. They all seem cliche, but they really are my reasons. And it really does help! Even at my darkest point, those helped.

It's so good you've haven't planned anything. Consider making your own list of why staying alive is worth it. You might be surprised at the list you come up with. Also, reach out to people. If you're feeling low, talk to someone. You don't have to talk about anything in particular, but being in contact with someone helps a ton. I know when I'm not around people for an extended period time, I feel heaps lower. Getting out and doing things can help lift your mood.

Don't feel guilty over asking for help. You can still ask for help whilst improving. Recovery is a process. And the road to happiness isn't an easy one, but it's a road worth fighting to the finish for. What are some things you're doing to improve? Keep doing that! You've got this, even if you feel low. You're not going to feel low forever. And coming out the other side is a victory, and it feels damn good! Keep fighting, you're worth it

Last edited by SparklingWine; June 1st 2015 at 05:56 PM. Reason: Like, I'm terrible at grammar. Fire me. ;)
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Palmolive Offline
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Jeez, get a life!
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Re: Unsure. - June 1st 2015, 05:58 PM

Firstly, I don't think not having the energy works like that. So to me that's a good sign because it's a reason you're using not to do anything which proves to me part of you doesn't want to actually act on the thoughts you are having. Which is good, to me. Do you know what has triggered these thoughts? Has something happened to make you feel this way? If there is nothing then know that that is okay but if there is something, know that we're here to listen to you and we won't judge, but we will try to be there for you.

I don't think the fact that you're having these thought doesn't mean you aren't improving or doing better. Try not to be so hard on yourself. We all have our moments and feel low and sometimes have suicidal thoughts and that's okay. The important thing is is that you aren't acting on them. That you're fighting through them and that you are also reaching out for help. You are strong enough to get through this and you will get through to the other side but this ride of recovery isn't gunna be a really easy ride. Its gunna take time and hard work. And we're here to help you as much as you can as I am sure so are your friends and family and support network at home. Don't feel bad for asking for help love. I know its scary but you are worth it and deserve help.

Just believe in yourself and set yourself goals and aims to reach for and to help keep you focused. Yes its hard but thats because its worth it and it doesnt mean you cant do it! So keep at it and keep fighting.

Take good care,

"Only in the dark, can you see the stars..."
Josie 12/3/2014, always in my heart. Sue 19/2/2016; Peter, Ellie, Hannah, Andy, Kirtsie RIP.

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L4Y Offline
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Re: Unsure. - June 2nd 2015, 12:15 AM

I realize that it often seems as if it would be easier for us to end our lives or go to sleep and never wake up. But there are many things about life that are good along with the bad.

I'm not sure exactly what you believe is your fault, but I can tell you that there is no shame in asking for help. It is almost always better to work through a problem with the support of loved ones rather than try to tackle things alone.
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