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_Headphones_ Offline
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sick of it all - July 12th 2015, 04:56 PM

I honestly don't know what is going on with me these days. It honestly seems like I CAN'T function outside the house unless I am swimming. Sometimes I can't even function inside the house. I want to be able to go out and function. My birthday is in September and the plans are to go to the Monterrey bay Aquarium and then Santa Cruz. But I honestly don't know if that can actually happen. I was going to try and start my food plan again but that's a fail. I just for some reason its like "god" is against me getting better and throws more shit my way. It's so bad I can't even take a bath or shower with out doing something stupid. Honestly is recovery meant for everyone? Because if it was wouldn't I be able to get the help and treatment I actually need? I'm just sick of this. I'm just like over all the fighting in my family, the never being around people because my family cares more about stupid houses then me, I'm out of control I literally go around the house crying hitting and kicking the air because I don't what to do shit that will get me kicked out.. I'm tired of my sister grossing me out and making fun of her. I just need to get away somehow and focus on me for a while but I have no where to go.

So every body talks about hitting rock bottom. What the he'll is rock bottom but what defines rock bottom? Because I think I've hit rock bottom and I'm having a hard time swimming up strean


Don't lose who you are, in the blur of the stars
Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing,
It's okay not to be okay
Sometimes it's hard, to follow your heart
Tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising,
Just be true to who you are
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Green Yoshi Offline
The screwdriverneedsgas!
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Re: sick of it all - July 12th 2015, 05:30 PM

i'm sorry that you've went through so much. But what i do know is that sometimes, things are as bad as you view them to be. So if you think they can be overcame.. they will be overcame. If you think they can't, then you're making things harder for yourself because self-belief is all in the mind. If you need to just relax, its best to just calm yourself down.. go somewhere with nice music, or a good place to relax and just think. I find that it works for me sometimes.

It can be tough, but its something that everyone faces. There's one thing all situations have in common, tho.. they can be dealt with and beat.

Stay strong. Your boat can't be sunk.. we'll keep it afloat.


It's called a tunnel because there's ALWAYS a light at the end.



rant to me if there's anything!

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As usual... pm me if you are ever having a tough day, and I'll respond immediately.

You guys deserve to be happy no matter what.. okay? You people are a bunch of lovelies ... and no matter what, you people deserve to be happy.
   
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Kindred Offline
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Re: sick of it all - July 13th 2015, 09:53 PM

Hey Frankie,

Yes, recovery is for everyone. It doesn't take a certain type of person to recover, it takes certain behavior patterns though- persistence, bravery and a little dash of hope! And you can be brave, persistent and I'm sure you'll find a tiny bit of hope somewhere. You're showing bravery by dealing with these feelings day in, day out. By fighting your eating disorder, by helping others. You're showing persistence because you're still here, even if it's really difficult right now.

No one is against you, no matter what it feels like. The world is neither on your side nor against you- it just is. Sometimes it'll seem like it's swinging in your favor and other times it won't. Ever heard the phrase you make your own luck? You're in charge of your life and you can do anything (apologies for the cheesiness!).

For your birthday, would it help if you went swimming before your plans? That might help you feel more comfortable and relaxed since that seems to be an activity you enjoy. And hey, give the meal plan another go yeah? It does get easier my lovely, I promise <3



Take as long as you need.
   
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