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Arion Offline
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Name: Arion
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advice? - July 26th 2015, 03:39 AM

in the beginning i was very in control of things... but its starting to fall out of hand, I've slept for two days with no food... cried multiple times for a week uncontrollably... and so much more.. i feel like talking about it only makes me feel worse.. and I really don't want to be here. the worse thing you could say is to talk to my family cause... that no help.. they are the ones who started this feeling and only add on.. I am starting to wake up threw the night too, and have some mental problems.
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Re: advice? - July 26th 2015, 10:58 AM

Hey, Arion.

I'm very sorry that you're feeling like this. I can imagine it feels really lonely to not have anyone close to you that you can talk to like your family. I read your thread in the Friends and Family section so I hope it's okay for me to refer to that post in this reply? Also, would you feel comfortable sharing what mental problems you're having trouble with? You're welcome to talk about it if you'd like.

When you feel this low, not eating can feel easier but it can actually have a much more negative effect on you both mentally and physically. I know it must be hard, but do your best to maintain a routine of healthy eating (foods with lots of protein and vitamins), taking care of yourself and even a short walk if possible. Eating healthy and moderate exercise can improve your sleep a lot. Eating healthy, exercise and staying in a routine can also make you feel better as well. Filling your spare time with things that you enjoy can also help a lot. Even if you don't feel like doing something at first, you may find yourself feeling slightly better after you occupy yourself with a hobby for awhile. Getting out how you feel in a journal or creative outlet is also important so that you don't bottle everything up.

Is there a way you could try making new friends? Could you spark a conversation with people at your school, or a neighbor your age? Are there any clubs, groups or other school activities you could join to meet others with common interests? Meeting new friends and having people around you that make you feel positive could be great for you.

Staying alive for friends and family is a great and wonderful thing because it's good when you have people in your life who motivate you to hold on. But what's really important is that you already have (or make) other reasons to stay alive that are important to you. Such as yourself for example. I imagine you've been through a lot in your life to be struggling in the first place. Even though it's all been really hard for yourself, I'm willing to bet on the fact that you've gained a lot of strength from it even if you don't yet realize it. Along with compassion for others that have been through the same or similar things as you. How about making goals for your future and experiences/things you'd like to do? Taking time to realize personal goals and things you'd like to achieve could be really helpful in reminding you of all the reasons you have to keep fighting. You could make a list of reasons to live, similar to this list put together by the members of TeenHelp, just a more personalized list that suits your goals and wishes.

Is it okay for me to ask what your family and friends do that makes them one of the main reasons as to why you don't wanna be alive? I'm sorry they're making you feel that way. Other than your family, are there any other trusted adults you can turn to? Such as a trusted teacher, coach or school counselor for example. You're obviously struggling a lot and if you aren't able to talk to your family, you should have someone to talk to so that you don't have to deal with everything alone. Here is a helpful list that explains who all in your life that you can go to for help with your struggles.

From reading your posts, I can understand and see how you feel really alone and that you're struggling. So I just want to remind you that you aren't really alone because you can always turn to TeenHelp. There's many, many friendly people here that'd be more than happy to listen to you. I don't mind listening either so you can message me if you'd like. And of course, you can continue reaching out and using TeenHelp's many resources of getting advice/support. As well as Live Help and HelpLINK.

You're worth it, Arion. You're worth the fight, so don't give up on hope or yourself, alright? I hope you feel better and that things improve for you soon. Take care.
   
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Re: advice? - July 26th 2015, 04:05 PM

Hi there

It's good to know you were in control but I am sorry it feels like things are changing in that sense. I know how easy it can be for things to get of control but I also know how hard it can be for an individual to recognise that so I think you have done really well to do so and I am glad you have come to us for some help and support because you don't deserve to be going through this on your own. You deserve people around you who can support you as best as they can and that's what we will try to do for you.

Firstly, sleeping a lot can make your mood low. Now, I know when we're low sometimes all we want to do is sleep but you have to try and act opposite to this feeling as hard as it can be. Try setting a sleeping routine so going to bed at the same time each night, then maybe reading for half an hour (stay away from caffeine, computer screens etc as they can keep you awake) or something calming, and then set a time to try and sleep. Then set an alarm to get up in the morning at the same time every day. So say go to bed at 11pm, sleep at 11.30pm and then wake up at 10am. But if you struggle to sleep for more than 15 - 20 minutes, I would suggest you get up, go to a different room and do some more reading etc. And then after half an hour or so, go back to bed and try to sleep again.

Another thing is that eating affects how we feel too. For example, I have a friend that if she doesn't eat her breakfast, she'll be moody all morning and will feel low. She needs to eat when she first gets up. We all need food because it gives us energy. Food is energy. You can't be in much of a good mood if you don't have energy and it also affects how the brain works which is why when people with eating disorders are at a low weight, they are more likely to lack capacity because they aren't eating which means they cannot think properly which leads them to lacking capacity, does that make sense? So food actually has a huge impact on our mental state and that's something you need to remember. Again, I know we sometimes don't want to eat when we feel low and I'm not going to ask you to eat big meals, so maybe you could try eating fiver smaller meals through out the day?

Crying is okay. In fact I think it can often be a good release of emotions so I would encourage it even though I know sometimes we can feel tired and miserable after crying, I think it helps in the long run so if you feel like crying, then cry. That's okay and we're not going to judge you for that and I hope no one else does either because it is okay. If you feel like you need to cry, cry. And if you feel like you need to cry in a safer place, make a safe place for you. Sometimes when I cry uncontrollably I think I'm at risk because its when my emotions have hit the roof and it all comes out, so maybe make a little corner in your bedroom a safe place, do what you like to it to make it that safe place and go there to cry when you need too, for example. Just an idea.

You say you feel like talking about it and know that we're here to listen to you. We aren't going to judge you and think bad of you, we just want to help you get through this as best as we can do. I want to help you get through this as best as I can do. I know sometimes we can feel worse after talking but sometimes things have to feel worse before they get better, you know? We have to hit the rock bottom before we can go up and you will get to the point where the only way to go us up. We all get there, but sometimes the storm has to hit before we get the rainbow.

It makes me sad to know you don't want to be here when I know you can have a great life. You are worth so much and you seem like a kind and caring person and you deserve the best from life and I wish I could give that to you. You don't deserve to be feeling this way or to be having these kind of thoughts and I am so sorry you are. I really wish I could change that for you but I do know when you get through this, which you will, I know it, you will see the world in a different way. I can't explain it, but you'll see the beauty in everything and the fight will feel so worth it and you'll be so glad you never gave up.

I'm not going to advise you to talk to your family if you don't want too. That's fair enough and I can understand that. But there are other people to talk too. We're always here for you but sometimes it can help to talk to people face to face, you know? Maybe see your GP/Doctor? Maybe you could look into seeing a therapist to talk through these issues and to have someone to help you through the suicidal thoughts and thinking patterns as well as the unhealthy habbits like the not eating to help you improve your mental health. I know reaching out can be real scary but people can help you and you don't have to be alone, okay? You deserve support.

Please feel free to PM anytime. You aren't alone in this and I'd hate for anything to happen to you. I really care and I am always just a message away if you need anything. Keep fighting, you are a strong person and can get through this so believe in yourself; I believe in you!

Jessie


"Only in the dark, can you see the stars..."
Josie 12/3/2014, always in my heart. Sue 19/2/2016; Peter, Ellie, Hannah, Andy, Kirtsie RIP.

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