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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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Readein Offline
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Crippling Mood Swings - April 29th 2016, 07:34 AM

I've had them all my life, but it seems that I'm more depressive now. The down swings can last hours to days. I have no insurance; any attempt to medicate never worked anyways.

I can barely bring myself to eat once a day. All my enthusiasm is gone, and I really don't know how much more I can take. I got my GED yesterday, and I can't even be happy with that. Life is so bleak when I feel like this. Between this, and being manic from time to time; it exhausts me. My up days normally consist of me trying not to feel anything because extreme emotion drains me. I'm crying right now, and I don't even know why. There used to be triggers, but now it just happens.

I just want to feel normal. If the constant panic attacks start to come back; I don't know what I'll do. The worse I get; the more bridges I burn. It's as if there's multiple consciousnesses fighting in my head.

I can't go down this road again; I just can't


If you need advice, or just want to talk. It'd be easier to message me on HERE
   
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Re: Crippling Mood Swings - April 29th 2016, 07:50 AM

Since I was 16 I've been pawned off from one person to the next. I've never truly felt wanted anywhere. Been treated like I was a burden since I can remember. Tried to OD once, and it just ended me up in the looney bin. Everyday I hate myself more and more. It's starting to feel like the good days are dwindling.

Puberty was the worst thing that happened to me. My mom was constantly strung out on adderall, and my dad constantly squandered our rent on crack. It was really hard to be a hormonal child, and have no one to talk to.

My ex got killed by a drunk driver 4 days before christmas in 2014. She was on a moped; driver ran with moped attached to vehicle, and had to be found by a canine unit. It was his habitual DUI also, and guess what HE GOT 3 FUCKING YEARS. I have a friend who got a habitual DUI, and only recieved 2 years for it. Funny thing is he didm't hurt no one but him self. Here's an article http://myfox8.com/2014/12/21/car-sla...another-in-nc/

I ignored her for years because she was very clingy. I treated her like nothing, and I deeply regret it. She was a great loving person, and I squandered that. Now everytime I search her name up I see this picture staring me in my face that was us years ago. Anytime anyone searches her up they're met with my face. The one who broke her heart, and left her alone. It hurts so much


If you need advice, or just want to talk. It'd be easier to message me on HERE
   
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Re: Crippling Mood Swings - April 29th 2016, 07:55 AM

I could write all day on the things I keep held in. I've been surrounded by death and tragedy the past few years. I don't know how to deal anymore. She didn't deserve to go out like that; she really didn't. I can only imagine what her poor fiance felt like coming out of a coma to find out she was dead. The same night a friend of mine flipped his car driving drunk from my house. I had to hear all that in one phone call. I initially thought she had a seizure on the moped because her parents were always afraid of that.


If you need advice, or just want to talk. It'd be easier to message me on HERE
   
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Re: Crippling Mood Swings - April 29th 2016, 03:30 PM



I think that its not your fault, and your ex would want you to be happy. I know that she's a sweet girl, and she likely wanted you to be happy and saw the awesomeness within you. You are someone who clearly has a conscience and a story: But what you need to know is that you need to let go of that guilt. The feelings that you have regarding how things have went, how you've treated other people and how things have been are now pent-up inside you, leading to you thinking as if nothing's going to work out.

But it'll definitely work out. You just need to recover, and see what's good about yourself. In your story I only see you talking about what you think is bad about yourself... but you are clearly a much better person than you think you are. One more thing: No matter what mistakes you might have made... as long as you become a better person after that, it was a mistake well learnt from. I'm sure that your ex doesn't want you to guilt trip yourself like this, and she would want you to move on.. and not think negative things.

You just have to give yourself the chance to treat yourself nicely. If some people treat you like a burden, then they truly are doing something wrong. No one deserves to be treated like a burden, and no one deserves to be treated as if something's wrong with them. Clearly, there's nothing wrong with you... and its time you knew that. I suggest that you open up more regarding your experiences with all the people who're helping you, and try to join activities where you can meet more new people, and these people will definitely be able to help you in plenty of ways. As long as you are able to relax, be yourself and mix around with a bunch of positive people, your negativity and "multiple consciousness battling inside your mind " situation will lessen.

We've all made mistakes, but we learn from them.. no matter how bad, as long as your future self will make people happy, and dedicates his actions to make people's lives better and enjoys a full life, I think that's good enough. There's some things in life that are out of our control, but what matters is that whatever 's within our control... we do it and execute it to the best of our abilities with the warmest and best intentions our hearts can muster.

You got my support, and no matter what happens.. I'll be here. If you need a friend or just someone to rant to... you can count on me!


It's called a tunnel because there's ALWAYS a light at the end.



rant to me if there's anything!

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As usual... pm me if you are ever having a tough day, and I'll respond immediately.

You guys deserve to be happy no matter what.. okay? You people are a bunch of lovelies ... and no matter what, you people deserve to be happy.
   
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Re: Crippling Mood Swings - April 29th 2016, 07:29 PM

Thanks man. I just needed someone to listen. I was in the depths of an intense depressive mood swing last night. I was diagnosed with being bipolar when I was in the mental institution, but never followed up to get it officially on paper. I'm feeling better today for the most part. The emotions are just too intense sometimes.


If you need advice, or just want to talk. It'd be easier to message me on HERE
   
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Re: Crippling Mood Swings - May 1st 2016, 09:34 AM

I'll always be around if you wanna talk about your mood swings. But what you need to do is to try to stabilize your emotions. Perhaps you could surround yourself with happy influences, and happy songs and happy moments. There's nothing for you to lose because it's only going to enable you to get better control of emotions, as well as be in control of yourself again.

Wanna tell me about your mood swing? I'm here for you to talk to. Rant to me.... you'll always have me if you want someone to listen!


It's called a tunnel because there's ALWAYS a light at the end.



rant to me if there's anything!

http://www.teenhelp.org/private.php?do=newpm&u=27464

screwdriverneedsgas

As usual... pm me if you are ever having a tough day, and I'll respond immediately.

You guys deserve to be happy no matter what.. okay? You people are a bunch of lovelies ... and no matter what, you people deserve to be happy.
   
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Re: Crippling Mood Swings - May 2nd 2016, 07:56 PM

The only real thing that helps is getting of the house. I'm here 24/7, but my fiance has just about saved enough for a down payment on a car. I just got my GED the other day (3.7 GPA ) so I'm hoping to have a job soon. Music makes my mood swings worse; I don't really know why, but music just intensifies what I'm currently feeling. Meditation can help loads, but it's damn near impossible to quiet my mind. I think every minute of the day; makes it hard as hell to sleep. I'm lucky to get 4 hours in a night


If you need advice, or just want to talk. It'd be easier to message me on HERE
   
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Green Yoshi Offline
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Re: Crippling Mood Swings - May 3rd 2016, 05:20 AM

Maybe you might want to try meditating. It's a calm sort of thing that can help you to forget all other distractions, and just be comfortable with yourself. I'm proud of you for getting a 3.7 GPA cause it shows how hard you've worked, and there's nothing wrong with you... perhaps that car can help you get some peace too.

Also, anytime you doubt yourself... just remember what you've achieved and be proud of that. There's so much you can accomplish and you are really strong.. you can do this.


It's called a tunnel because there's ALWAYS a light at the end.



rant to me if there's anything!

http://www.teenhelp.org/private.php?do=newpm&u=27464

screwdriverneedsgas

As usual... pm me if you are ever having a tough day, and I'll respond immediately.

You guys deserve to be happy no matter what.. okay? You people are a bunch of lovelies ... and no matter what, you people deserve to be happy.
   
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