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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Adele101 Offline
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Feeling like a failure - May 17th 2017, 11:04 AM

Hi again, basically I just sat a really really important exam, and I feel like I completely failed it. And I feel so terrible because I prepared so much for this, I literally do all the past papers online and everything, I trued my best yet I still feel like a facile the exam. Results come out in like a month or two so I dont really know how badly I did but im just so dissappointd in myself,i just feel completely and utterly hopeless. To add on to this my mumis blaming me, stain its all my fault, that knnever revise, but she has no idea how much revision I got done, she wont listen to me. I have no one to talk to about this and I'm just feeling very demotivated. I also have two otger really important exams next week and I don't know how I'm going to get anything done when I'm feeling so horrible. All Iwant to do is sit down and cry. Any advice on how to just forget about th past exams and just keep myself motivated in order not to fail all the other exams?
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Everglow. Offline
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Re: Feeling like a failure - May 17th 2017, 11:14 AM

Hey,

Let me start my saying I truly understand how you feel right now. I have said numerous exams and come out the other end 100% certain I've failed it. Trust me when I say pretty much every student knows how that feels. It sucks. Exams can make us think it's the end of everything but they're not. If you have revised (and YOU know you've revised), then doing your absolute best is all anyone can expect. Your mum may not know the extent of work you've done. Try not to let her words get to you too much. It's far easier said than done, but you're the only person who really knows how much you've prepared for exams and if you know you've done a lot of work, then of course, you have.

It's also worth mentioning that while exams are important, they're just a test of memory, and the amount of work you do doesn't necessarily mean your grade will be good/bad. Any number of factors can influence how you do in an exam, so blaming it all on a lack of revision won't help in the future. Make sure you're getting enough sleep and not over revising. Breaks are important and you should allow time for yourself as well.

For now though, try and let it slip out of your mind. It won't change anything to carry on worrying about that exam now that it's over. You may find that you've done so much better than you think you have - in which case please let us know because we'd love to celebrate this with you! However, if you find that you've not done as well as you'd hoped, there are still things you can do. Talk to a teacher about whether you can do any extra work to improve your overall grade, or ask if there is a possibility for a resit. You may also be able to ask for a copy of your exam in which case you will know the areas you lost marks and be able to work on them for next time. But, all of this can only happen once you know how you've done. Worrying about that now won't do anything except make you feel bad about yourself - which you should never do. You worked for it, so keep that in mind! Focus on what is coming next for now and you will feel better about the upcoming exams too.

If you need any help with anything, feel free to send me a message. I'm always happy to give you a hand if you need anything.

Take care!


❤ Nana ❤
1953-2016

As far as we can discern,
the sole purpose of human existence
is to kindle a light in the darkness of mere being.
- Carl Jung

   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Feeling like a failure - May 17th 2017, 12:04 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Everglow. View Post
Hey,

Let me start my saying I truly understand how you feel right now. I have said numerous exams and come out the other end 100% certain I've failed it. Trust me when I say pretty much every student knows how that feels. It sucks. Exams can make us think it's the end of everything but they're not. If you have revised (and YOU know you've revised), then doing your absolute best is all anyone can expect. Your mum may not know the extent of work you've done. Try not to let her words get to you too much. It's far easier said than done, but you're the only person who really knows how much you've prepared for exams and if you know you've done a lot of work, then of course, you have.

It's also worth mentioning that while exams are important, they're just a test of memory, and the amount of work you do doesn't necessarily mean your grade will be good/bad. Any number of factors can influence how you do in an exam, so blaming it all on a lack of revision won't help in the future. Make sure you're getting enough sleep and not over revising. Breaks are important and you should allow time for yourself as well.

For now though, try and let it slip out of your mind. It won't change anything to carry on worrying about that exam now that it's over. You may find that you've done so much better than you think you have - in which case please let us know because we'd love to celebrate this with you! However, if you find that you've not done as well as you'd hoped, there are still things you can do. Talk to a teacher about whether you can do any extra work to improve your overall grade, or ask if there is a possibility for a resit. You may also be able to ask for a copy of your exam in which case you will know the areas you lost marks and be able to work on them for next time. But, all of this can only happen once you know how you've done. Worrying about that now won't do anything except make you feel bad about yourself - which you should never do. You worked for it, so keep that in mind! Focus on what is coming next for now and you will feel better about the upcoming exams too.

If you need any help with anything, feel free to send me a message. I'm always happy to give you a hand if you need anything.

Take care!
Thank you so much for your support, it really means a lot to me
   
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Re: Feeling like a failure - May 19th 2017, 05:20 PM

Hey there! Honestly, what else can I say about your situation? I had all of that before exactly as written! (and still feel a bit of it even now)

First, here is a common psychological thinking, that we fail an exam, and turned out that we didnt do as bad as we thought. For so many times I had that too! So maybe you should consider again: Did you really do as bad as you think? Or its your bad feelings tells you that you did badly? Even if you really did badly, think again. Is it helpful if you spend your energy in looking back the previous exams that you didnt do well? Use your logical mind to tell you what to do, not your sad feelings! But yes, I understand that its hard to focus with that feeling, but that's how you need to move on! When you do well in the next exam, automatically your bad feelings will lessen, and you will able to focus more. You need to be strong and take in that feeling for now, because it will get better when you do well in the next exam. Break the sad cycle and change it for the better! And I want to tell you that you are hardworking and you indeed deserve a good result. If you didnt do well in the previous exam, dont be sad and give up, know that you will certainly do well in the next exam, okay?

I understand your struggle completely. You may think you are not good enough and that's why no matter how you try you still didnt do well in exams. Its not true! Ok look, if you are really not good enough, does it mean you should give up? NO! You might take more effort than others to do well in exams. You might need to study longer than others. You might improve slower than others, but if you dont give up, and you keep trying various ways to improve, you will still improve and break your limits! I know that feeling too well, but yes, you can acheive more than what you imagined! If you think you tried your best, I will tell you that no, you can try harder and do better. If you think you reached your limit, then I will tell you that no, you can break that limit! Think of what else you can do to improve!

Now let's think, is doing past years itself helpful enough? Is there any other sample tests or similar tests from other exam boards that you can get to try them? Work out every mistake you did and scrutinize them untill you understand what is wrong. Record your mistakes in a notebook so that you wont reapeat them. Is there any extra resources that you can refer to other than those in your syllabus so that you can understand more about it? And also, you can certainly discuss your difficulties with your friends so that they can help you with the problems that you can't answer! There are many ways to improve study methods, you can even search them online!

Your mum is partially correct. Well its your exams, and if you did badly, you did badly and you are responsible for that. But you are right too, she didn't know how much effort you had done behind all that. So don't take it too harshly. I want to assure you once again, that you worked hard, and you know it! Dont let your mum tell you otherwise, or you ignore what she say, because it isnt true and isnt fair to you to say you didnt worked hard, no matter how the results are! And results shows how good you did in that particular exam. Your effort shows how hardworking you are as a good person!

Don't cry anymore! Be strong and productive instead! You are worthy and you are good enough for sure, and so you are going to do well in the remaining exams! Dont doubt yourself, and I wish you all the best with them.


Do my best at everything I can to live a happy, perfect life.

Happy life won't come by being happy everyday. Struggle and always work hard.

Forgive other's imperfection, they will work hard about it once I point it out to them, just like what I should be doing.

On the other hand, never tolerate with my own mediocrity. Never slack and always strive improvement.

Never settle. Never give up.
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Re: Feeling like a failure - May 19th 2017, 06:28 PM

Hi, thank you for your message, it was so kind and honestly quite motivating. Thanks for believing in me when the people who actually know me never have. I hope you're doing well!
   
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Re: Feeling like a failure - May 19th 2017, 07:50 PM

Hey there,

I can definitely identify with what you're feeling. Over the years, there have definitely been exams that I've prepared for extensively and still not done as well as I would have liked. While it can definitely feel a bit discouraging, remember that one exam does not define your success or failure. In fact, all the exams in the world do not define your success or failure. It sounds like you put in the work to make sure you knew everything you needed to (which means you probably learned a lot about the information) and I know you did your best on the exam. Whether or not the score reflects your true knowledge of the subject matter, the effort you made sounds like that of a successful person to me.

As for the other exams, I can understand why you're a bit apprehensive. The best thing that you can do is to put this exam behind you. There's nothing you can do to change the outcome now, so try not to focus your attention on it too much. Instead, focus on what you can impact now - the outcomes of your next exams. Perhaps you could try different study techniques if you feel that the ones you used last time weren't as helpful as they could have been. You can try studying with other people in your class, re-writing your notes in your own words, or having your mom quiz you after you've gotten some studying done. Sometimes a change of method can have a huge impact on how well you perform on a test.

Pick yourself up, brush off the disappointment, and work hard again. I know you can do this! No matter what, remember that you're doing your best and that's all that anyone can ask out of you. Pat yourself on the back for how hard you're trying and, again, focus on the fact that an exam score does not define your intelligence or anything else about you.

Good luck with the rest of your exams!

Take care,
Sammi


wanderlust consumed her;
foreign hearts & exotic minds compelled her.
she had a gypsy soul
and a vibrant heart for the unknown.
-d. marie
   
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