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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Supermyrt Offline
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everything sucks right now - June 9th 2017, 10:41 PM

Hi everybody
I just don't know what to do right now. I feel as if everything is going wrond and nothing is working anymore.
I try so hard to be succesfull but everything fails.
I am studying to be a midwife. I really want to become one and I really like it but I know that that probably won't happen. I'm in my first year and I am having my first internship in a hospital right now. But everything is failing. I forget everything, I can't do anything right (even the simple things), I always get bad reviews cause everything I do isn't good enough. I feel like I'm hopeless and should just give up because it's not working. I probably won't even pass. I try my very best but i'm not good enough. I'm just a burden to the other midwives. (they are sweet to me but I know that they gossip about me and that they think that I'm stupid)
I just don't really know what to do anymore I'm spiralling out of control again and feel like I should just give up because I'm not good enough and because I'm stupid
It's always like this, with everything in my life (friends, school, job, family): I try really hard but I never succeed.

I just don't know what to do anymore. I just want to go to sleep and never wake up again.
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
JustTheKeags Offline
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Re: everything sucks right now - June 10th 2017, 04:03 AM

It's simple. Don't give up. beleive in yourself. we are all here for you.
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: everything sucks right now - June 20th 2017, 05:42 AM

Hey. Great job becoming a mid-wife. I'm gonna be very short and simple. Don't give up, believe in yourself, and don't care about what those other women say about you. You deserve a happy life.
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Re: everything sucks right now - June 22nd 2017, 04:17 PM

First off, being a midwife is hard, and you should know that nobody will be perfect in the job. It is a lot of pressure, and you forgetting things and messing up won't be the end of the world, it's only your first year! My advice is to just get more comfortable with the people there and the job it's self, and I think with time you will become better at the job. Just keep fighting and don't give up!!
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
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Re: everything sucks right now - June 22nd 2017, 09:21 PM

Hey there,

I will echo what has been said above - don't give up! I know how it can seem like it's easier and better to give up when things are tough, but if being a midwife is something you really want to do, then the only thing you can do is try your best. I'm not saying that other things don't make it harder to achieve. Of course, finding things difficult to grasp is an issue most people have at some point and it can knock your confidence a bit, but that shouldn't make you give up at all.

Are there people at this position that you can have a chat to about getting a bit of extra support? At most jobs, there will be someone you report back to, so perhaps a supervisor of shift leader. It might be a good idea to just pull them aside and have a chat at some point and explain to them that you're finding things a bit tough an could do with a bit of advice. Chances are, they will have had problems at the start of their career too. Work place gossip happens very often (I know that at my job a lot of people gossip about the newbies), but everyone has been new once. Everyone has been right at the bottom at one time or another, and after you have grasped things, someone else will come along, and they may struggle too. I know it's difficult to remind yourself that it is ok to get things wrong sometimes, but it is. Nobody is perfect, and even experienced people might get things wrong sometimes. It's a learning curve, and you should treat it as that. You're not a qualified midwife so nobody is expecting you to find it all easy. If you're struggling, tell someone. It's honestly the best way to learn, and the more you can ask questions, the better a midwife you will become.

You're not a failure. You're training up to do one of the most wonderful and important jobs out there. I think that's an amazing thing to do, but I think that it also comes with an awful lot of expectations and, therefore, criticisms. Every job will have you face some criticisms because you can never make everyone entirely happy, but if you can learn to build yourself back up and treat them as lessons, not obstacles, you will be just fine. Take on board what is said, but don't let it be a barrier to your future. Let it be an opportunity to grow and do better. It may take one instance of getting it wrong, or it may take more than one. Be patient with yourself and let people help you, but never back down from achieving something you really want. Learn from your mistakes. You're human! Everyone makes them.

I hope you're doing ok. Please keep going! You've got this.

A paradox:
The things you donít need to liveó
books, art, cinema, wine, and so onó
are the things you need to live

- Matt Haig

  (#6 (permalink)) Old
Supermyrt Offline
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Re: everything sucks right now - June 26th 2017, 10:00 PM

Thank you for all the nice reply's.
I just find it hard to stay positive and be patient with myself. I'm an overachiever, and I hate when I'm not able to do things. I want to be perfect and feel that that is what is expected of me by my parents and family.
It's just hars when you try really hard and give al lot of effort and still don't seem to be getting anywhere. I just don't feel like I can talk to anyone about it because my parents always say that I'm overreacting and that I'm stressing out and shouldn't be complaining. I don't have friends (cause nobody ever likes me) and don't have a good connection with my family. I don't feel like I can talk to anyone else. I tried to talk to a teacher, but as soon as she found out that I don't have friends or anyone to hang out with or talk to, she just looked at me like I was pathetic and that she felt sorry for me. You know with that look that you often see in the movies when people feel sorry for someone. It's hard to explain but she was really lokking at me like that. I don't want to talk to anyone else, I never really talk about my feelings and find it hard to do so. Nobody in my life really cares enough to listen.
I just wish I had a best friend to talk too (probably wouldn't really tell her anything but I would have at least the feeling like I could) but nobody wants me. I really hoped that getting out of high school and being in a different environment would help me and it started out okay. I got to know some people and they liked me back, but only for a couple of weeks. Now they just tolerate me. They don't really like me being around and never invite me.
This happens everytime I try to make friends: they like me for a while and that's it. Even though I'm was always super friendly, didn't complain about anything, and tried to do stuff with them.
I just don't know why I can't have anyone.
I'm so lonely and I just do stuff on my own and tell my mom I'm going to a friend, or doing something with a friend because I don't want her to think I'm a loser too. (she gets the same look in her eyes as I described above when I say i'm doing something on my own)
I just don't know what I'm doing wrong. Maybe I'm just ment to be on my own.I just pretend I have someone in my dreams, but I always wake up to the sad thruth that I am alone.

Last edited by Supermyrt; June 26th 2017 at 10:29 PM.
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