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_Headphones_ Offline
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feel like crap. - June 10th 2017, 10:48 PM

I just want to get out of this really deep depression I am in and I have no clue how. I am not even driving anymore because I don't think I can be safe behind the wheel. I hardly ever go to the pool right now and when i do I can't go by myself like I did last summer because I would never make it out of the house by myself. All I do is mostly be on my computer and sleep, I am actually hardly on my computer and just sleep so much. It takes so much effort for me to change my clothes and take a shower. I haven't change my clothes since Wendsday and I haven't showered since Tuesday. I know it is gross but I just can't bring myself to do the daily hygiene stuff. I have thoughts about slipping back into my eating disorder. And right now I say fuck it what is the point of recovery right now? It seems like every time I get happy something always happens that bring me down and I get depressed. I just hate myself so damn much right now and I have no clue how to not hate myself ugh.


Don't lose who you are, in the blur of the stars
Seeing is deceiving, dreaming is believing,
It's okay not to be okay
Sometimes it's hard, to follow your heart
Tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising,
Just be true to who you are
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Re: feel like crap. - June 11th 2017, 08:19 AM

If there was some little symbol I could use to express that I've heard you and I feel empathy for you I would, but that doesn't exist :/ I imagine that the fifteen other people who read your post without leaving a reply do care in the same way that I do but didn't have any advice to give so didn't know quite how to respond to your message. I don't have any advice other than seek professional help or express how you're feeling to someone close to you who might be able to support you in some way... But I mainly just want to say that I'm here and I hear you and I really do feel empathy for you, as most other people reading your post.


"You shall love your crooked neighbour / with your crooked heart."
   
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Re: feel like crap. - June 11th 2017, 07:50 PM

I agree with Skye. I empathize with how bad you are feeling right now and I understand how hard it must be to be going through this. Are you seeing a counselor or anything at the moment? If not, I would suggest making an appointment. Deep depressions, especially one's that cycle really do need professional help. I have mild depression, to where I can usually tolerate life but I have zero motivation to get most things that I need to get done. My counselor has helped a ton with that. If you do have a counselor, how often are you seeing them? If not that often consider uping your appointments to once a week, especially with your thoughts of slipping back into your ED.

Again, I am sorry. If you ever need to vent or just want to talk, feel free to get a hold of me.
   
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