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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Green Yoshi Offline
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Feeling extremely down. - January 1st 2018, 07:41 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I have completely lost faith and I feel very demotivated and down..

So... here I am.


It's called a tunnel because there's ALWAYS a light at the end.



rant to me if there's anything!

http://www.teenhelp.org/private.php?do=newpm&u=27464

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As usual... pm me if you are ever having a tough day, and I'll respond immediately.

You guys deserve to be happy no matter what.. okay? You people are a bunch of lovelies ... and no matter what, you people deserve to be happy.
   
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Re: Feeling extremely down. - January 1st 2018, 09:07 PM

Hey there! I haven't seen you make one of these posts in several months. I assume you were able to do something during that period of time to improve your life? What exactly did you do? I know after the holidays, a lot of people can get into a bit of the funk once the excitement's died down. The cold weather, snow, short daylight hours don't help much either.

However, it's important to stay committed to your responsibilities and keep yourself busy. Keep volunteering if you are doing so. Keep helping people if that's what you've been doing. Find a new hobby if the one you've acquired is beginning to get tiresome or boring. Do something to make yourself feel useful.

Also, it has been said time and time again: go see a professional therapist to talk about these things with you. We can only provide the same advice again and again before it begins to get redundant. Also, if you aren't looking for advice but just want to vent, feel free to utilize the blogs.
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Feeling extremely down. - January 1st 2018, 09:35 PM

I have tried to spend time with cats. I tried to do that, but its been tough. You probably also know that from my threads that my super-strict parents never allowed me to mingle or have friends/hangout buddies to meet up with. It was quite.... painful.

During this time, I tried to divert my attention towards cheering others up, feeding cats, went drinking (bad , I know.. ) and bad forms of indulgence. But that only made things worse. The cats are peaceful, but a human companionship with someone around my own age where I can share my innermost thoughts and feelings like a best friend and she can share hers in kind is special.

I found her, and I lost her... its painful.

I... plan to continue helping people to cheer them up and prevent them from becoming like me.

I.. have no motivation at all. I haven't been working for half a year, and frankly.. I have lost interest in everything I used to like. Those are all signs of depression, and its been like that for some time.

As for me.. I spent christmas alone, new years alone, and... I sorta watch as other people have their "best friends" accompany them wherever they go.

I...I... will try my best to change things. But I don't have much left in me.


It's called a tunnel because there's ALWAYS a light at the end.



rant to me if there's anything!

http://www.teenhelp.org/private.php?do=newpm&u=27464

screwdriverneedsgas

As usual... pm me if you are ever having a tough day, and I'll respond immediately.

You guys deserve to be happy no matter what.. okay? You people are a bunch of lovelies ... and no matter what, you people deserve to be happy.
   
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Re: Feeling extremely down. - January 1st 2018, 11:38 PM

Hey,
I'm sorry you've had it tough lately. I completely empathise with having strict parents and how their restrictions can really affect you and how it can make you feel lonely.

I've seen from your other posts/threads that you found someone you love then things didn't work out, and your not together anymore. I've also noticed how you keep dwelling on it and I know it must be very very difficult, but maybe instead of feeling sad over losing her maybe you could celebrate your time together and all the shared experiences and memories you've made together. I know it's a lot easier said than done, but just try focusing on all the positives instead of the negatives. For example, your lucky to have even fallen in love because a lot of people never experience it in their entire life. Maybe looking at things in a more positive way could help? Also, maybe try focusing on what you've learnt from your relationship? If some things went wrong pinpoint them so next time, with someone else you won't have to go through it again.

And in terms of losing interest in things you used to like, maybe you could find new hobbies? I know you said you have signs of depression, and losing interest is a symptom, but maybe if you try new things instead of trying to force yourself back into things you used to enjoy. Like if you didn't write before, maybe you could try writing poetry or novels. And that may also help you gain some closure with your previous relationship. You could try writing 'letters' in the form of stories or poetry to your parents or the girl, saying things you may not be able to say in real life. You might find it therapeutic.

So, I hope this helped, I'm sorry if it didn't. But I hope you find it better to cope.


Keep calm and carry on.
   
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Re: Feeling extremely down. - January 2nd 2018, 02:49 AM

Hey there,

I am sorry you spent the holidays alone. I know a lot of people struggle because of that. I am glad that you have been able to find some peace with cats and I do understand that it's hard to not have any human companionship.

It does seem like you are trying to do things that help and you should be proud of yourself for that. It isn't uncommon for people to have bad days/weeks/months especially the loss of friendship you have experienced. It is really important that you keep doing what you can to move forward because the bad days won't last forever.

One thing you mentioned is that you haven't been working, is there any way for you to get back to work or do some volunteering? I am not certain if that is possible but I do know it can be really hard for a person to sit at home without much to do. When I was in therapy my therapist used to encourage me to get out of the house and she also encouraged me to volunteer as a way to prevent myself from isolating. Maybe it would be possible for you to figure something like that out for yourself?

I am really glad that you reached out to us and I hope that things will improve. Keep on hanging in there!


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Last edited by .:Bibliophile:.; January 2nd 2018 at 05:11 AM.
   
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Re: Feeling extremely down. - January 2nd 2018, 04:58 AM

I have already tried poetry and novels .At times I had to stop myself from ripping the books into half..so yeah.

Btw... she was a best friend.. not a lover. My parents were EXTREMELY overbearing, and even having abest friendwas more than I could have hoped for.

I'm sorry Adele, that is impossible. Her loss is ...is... devastating. Anytime I try to process it it's just like " You had your one.. one.. chance and that chance is gone.She's gone. " Before I met her,there was this one time where I talked to my dad and I let him know how lonely and ... empty I felt. My dad couldn't say anything.

All he said was " It was a mistake to overprotect you in the past. "

Losing her has caused me to go back to my lonely days where I kinda don't care bout what happens to myself any more. I want someone like her back. I have tried my best to regain someone like her, but its futile. I have tried. Futile, futile, futile, futile, futile, futile, futile!

I have tried talking to her, but things.... did not work out.

Now, her order of importance when it comes to meeting up with people... is probably Family > BF > friends.Chances are that she said that I was in the third bracket just to keep me alive. I know that... I know that.... there's no hope of ever becoming something that's close to the third bracket of "friends" any more. But I have tried everything else. I have tried.

Abibliophobe, it is tougher than even I can fathom. I find it.. very meaningless and empty. I am at my limits. My parents now know that human companionship with someone warm my own age is extremely important to me, but even they are at a loss now. They do not know how to help me. I have already tried to warn them about this in the past, but they pressed on. Now... I'll admit... even they are at a loss .

And btw.. thanks for replying. Means a lot.


It's called a tunnel because there's ALWAYS a light at the end.



rant to me if there's anything!

http://www.teenhelp.org/private.php?do=newpm&u=27464

screwdriverneedsgas

As usual... pm me if you are ever having a tough day, and I'll respond immediately.

You guys deserve to be happy no matter what.. okay? You people are a bunch of lovelies ... and no matter what, you people deserve to be happy.

Last edited by Green Yoshi; January 2nd 2018 at 08:05 AM.
   
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Re: Feeling extremely down. - January 2nd 2018, 06:51 PM

Oh, I'm sorry I didn't know she was your best friend.
Maybe you could try dating sites? I know it may sound awful, and you said your parents at strict so theres that, but are you still living with them? If not, maybe try some dating apps, not for anything serious, but rather just the whole companionship thing. Or you could start working again? I know it's very diffiult but getting a job will really help you have a reason to wake up every morning, and you'll be able to make friends.
I'm sorry, and I hope things work out


Keep calm and carry on.
   
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Re: Feeling extremely down. - January 3rd 2018, 04:56 AM

Its okay adele

My parents aren't strict anymore. They completely let go after they saw the damage their "protective procedures " did to me both emotionally and health-wise.

I think that dating sites might end up being what I rely on , because frankly I can't even work now. I feel very... not gratified. after a day's worth of hard work, there's no one to spend coffee time with, or maybe rant your heart out to in real life.. because... that was her. my parents now know that and they know how broken I am. They wish me things like happy new year,but for me its just "new year " because frankly, I don't even know what the word "happy " means any more. And it will be that way as long as she doesn't return, or someone like her comes into my life again.

Making a new best friend is the most important step to me as of right now..everything begins from there.

Whether its her, or not her..I don't know.

I'm trying my very best, but I don't know how long I can hold on.

But like a very special warm animal lover said ( you know who you are ) the TNR (Trap-Neuter-Return) thing sounds like something I would get into because there's plenty of unwanted stray animals around (in my case, cats)and.... yeah, I'm an animal lover. So... I'm going to help cats out while I.. try to fight whatever's going on in me and the loss of that person.... the second part is very , very hard.


It's called a tunnel because there's ALWAYS a light at the end.



rant to me if there's anything!

http://www.teenhelp.org/private.php?do=newpm&u=27464

screwdriverneedsgas

As usual... pm me if you are ever having a tough day, and I'll respond immediately.

You guys deserve to be happy no matter what.. okay? You people are a bunch of lovelies ... and no matter what, you people deserve to be happy.
   
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