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AmyMave8 Offline
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Unhappy I just can't live anymore - May 14th 2018, 06:16 AM

I literally just wanna die. I am expected by my parents to do well in school, even though sometimes I just can't. Some of my friends are absolute bitches and I hate them, but I don't know how to tell them to just stop. I'm so insecure about my body and physical appearance. Little things (e.g. my phone running out of charge, having a bad hair day) send me into breakdowns all the time and I hate it. I self harm all the time because it honestly calms me down. I don't know what to do. I want to die, but I will never be able to bring myself to it. I hate everything and feeling like this is shit. I wrote this mostly to get it off my chest. I do need help but I don't know what to do.
   
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Re: I just can't live anymore - May 14th 2018, 05:34 PM

Hey there, first of all I want to welcome you to TeenHelp!

I am sorry you are struggling so much right now. School and friends can bring about great amount of stress and burden on mental health. You say your parents expect you to do well in school, do you think you can talk to them about how you're feeling regarding this? Maybe you can utilize resources at school to help you with your schoolwork, such as tutoring or asking a teacher for help, or reaching out to peers.

Another thing that could be very helpful is seeking out a therapist. There is absolutely nothing wrong with receiving therapy, and it can be either long term or short term. If you're feeling uncomfortable about that prospect, or having your friends find out and make fun, then don't tell them. If they are those sort of individuals, then maybe they're not the right people to be around. You deserve someone you can confide in and not think to yourself "man, what a bitch!" without being able to call them out on it.

Best of luck. Don't hesitate to reach out again if you need to.
   
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Re: I just can't live anymore - May 18th 2018, 09:52 PM

Hey there, I've been in the same rut many times, and the way I word this is gonna sound stupid but: ya don't need to sell the house, just need to rearrange some rooms.

as for your friends: C U T T H O S E T H O T S T H E F U C K O F F. They're being mean to you, so try going to a guidance counselor about it. Keep the good ones and try to become closer to them. Or maybe make some new ones altogether, your call. Take your blades and flush them down the toilet. Breathe. Take walks. Tell someone and get some therapy. Pat yourself on the back for all the small things you do right, like getting out of bed in the morning or eating breakfast.
As for the breakdowns: You're very drained, my friend. You need a mental break. Try to find a place where you find peaceful, like a bench swing by a pond, or the beach, or whatever. Whenever you get upset, just mentally take yourself to that happy place. Picture it in your mind: what does it look like? Is it breezy? What do you hear?

Again: I'm slowly pulling myself out of the same things, so you're always welcome to PM me anytime.
   
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