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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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I don't know where else to turn - May 28th 2009, 02:59 AM

Hi, i'm new here.
things aren't going well. every concievable thing is goiing wrong right now and i seriously want it all to end. school, but stuff at home, and the girl problems (which i've kinda pushed to the side for now) don't help either.i had an F in engliish last quarter
i am trying so hard in school now
its not even funny
i still have an F in english, but now i have one in AP world too.

and my mom wants to see my interim and i've been holding it off.
my english teacher wants the grade report signed or else she's calling home.
My dad is back and is taking us to court. I've liked a girl, and she's liked someone else for four years, and wants to wait it out for him. I feel so unneeded, so unloved. I haven't cried in years, but now, I can't stop. Please help me.
   
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Re: I don't know where else to turn - May 28th 2009, 03:06 AM

Hey first off welcome to teenehlp. Its good that your looking for advice. Im really sorry to hear that your going through such a tough time right now.

Have you ever talked to anybody about this friends family members school consuler? I know its hard and awkard at first but they might be able to really help you.

Could you at least talk to your school consuler about your grades. They might be able to get you tourting or some extra credit work.

I know sometimes that life gets you down. You sometimes feel like you just get kicked when your down. But pick yourself up and keep trying dont ever give up. You can get through this you ARE loved and needed weither you belive it or not.

Maybe its good that you let that out and cried. Its not good to hold that in. And theres nothing at all wrong with crying.

Pm me anytime. I hope you feel better.


   
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Re: I don't know where else to turn - May 28th 2009, 03:10 AM

Thank you so much. I have a meeting with my guidance counselor tomorrow. But i feel like such a let down. My whole family looks to me for some kind of redemption because of how my father turned out to be, and I show up empty handed every time.
   
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Re: I don't know where else to turn - May 28th 2009, 05:44 AM

Hey there Toz (awesome name, by the way),

I'm sorry to hear that you've been going through a tough time. I hope things brighten up a bit soon.

I can promise you, you're NOT a let-down. I just got back from a cousin's graduation, who had F's or otherwise not-so-good grades for most of his high school career, but near the end of his senior year, he was actually able to work things out and even start getting A's. And no matter what happens, some percentage on a paper is in no way a measure of how important a person is - there aren't percentages big enough for that. So bad grades, even though they can be really stressful, are still fixable and definitely not the end of the world. Despite my cousin's academic performance and even some other stuff, he's still like one of my best friends.

So just imagine how much you matter to the people around you

And hey, you definitely always matter here


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Re: I don't know where else to turn - May 28th 2009, 05:50 AM

hey toz.

you know i feel for you man i really do. and i have to say i was the same way with school. i found out that just not caring about how you do in school might get you better grades because you are not over stressed with it. it worked wonders with me. all you have to do is try your best. and you know you have to think of yourself. and you are not a let down for not being what you think your family wants you to be like. i have to say read my signature it helpes me at times and it could do the same for you.

just PM me anytime you need someone to talk to.


"your story is important, your life matters, you are not the only one who hurts your not the only one with questions, your not the only one who dreams, you are not alone, every person in this room, every person who stands on that stage: we are all people in need, people need people, we probably dont have to convince you that pain is real, but in the face of that, we want you ro know that hope is real and that help is real," quote from the Heavy and light intro video.
   
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Re: I don't know where else to turn - May 28th 2009, 07:28 PM

You dont have to prove anything to anybody Toz. Im sure your family loves you for who you are.

Goodluck with talking to your school consuler tell us how it goes?


   
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Re: I don't know where else to turn - May 28th 2009, 11:30 PM

He was supposed to send for me today, but he didn't. I'm still kind of hanging by a leash. But you guys know what? I just ate around a dozen brownies and I feel a whole lot better. My problems are still here, but I just have to take 'em a chunk at a time.
   
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Re: I don't know where else to turn - May 28th 2009, 11:40 PM

Lol brownies are really good

Maybe he was just busy today so he couldnt call you down if he dosent tmrw go back and try to talk to him again. Keep trying.


   
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Re: I don't know where else to turn - May 29th 2009, 12:01 AM

I won't.
I've been waiting on him since Wednesday, though.
   
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Re: I don't know where else to turn - May 29th 2009, 12:06 AM

Go talk to him again. Make an appointment. It may have just slipped his mind it dosent mean he dosent care. I was supposed to talk to my youth pastor awhile back we had been texting and he wanted to have our convo face to face he came up with the idea and he forgot at church sunday I had to remind him. It dosent mean he dosent want to talk to you.

Just go to his office and ask him about it.


   
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Re: I don't know where else to turn - May 31st 2009, 02:00 AM

I'll try that on Monday
   
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Re: I don't know where else to turn - May 31st 2009, 04:29 AM

Yay

Maybe he was abducted by aliens or something the last time...

Hang in there


Drown in the music,
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Re: I don't know where else to turn - June 1st 2009, 11:55 PM

Did you go to your consuler today?


   
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Re: I don't know where else to turn - June 2nd 2009, 03:31 AM

no, he didn't send for me. I'm gonna go and resubmi an application to see him.

I thought my mom had forgotten about my interim. She hadn't mentioned it for a few days. She just asked me about it, and said I would be in huge trouble if I didn't give it to her tomorrow.

This is what I mean by things only getting worse once I start getting back into it.


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Re: I don't know where else to turn - June 2nd 2009, 03:39 AM

Well, the worst hasn't technically come yet.

I've found that whenever things start going downhill again, or seem like they might, it helps to take a second to breathe (that's kind of a necessary thing to do every once and a while ) and tell myself that nothing bad has actually happened yet.

I hope that you get to see your counselor soon. And you seem like a really responsible person - could you try telling your mom that you've just been stressed lately and that you're just trying to get things under control right now, or however you would phrase that or something?

Or if things do go not-so-preferably, maybe you could try recruiting your counselor's help in dealing with that.

And no matter what, we're always here

Hang in there


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Re: I don't know where else to turn - June 2nd 2009, 03:41 AM

My greatest fear is that once she finds out, she'll take away my computer. Then, I won't be able to get on here. Then what will I do?


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Re: I don't know where else to turn - June 2nd 2009, 03:57 AM

Well, if this is something that really helps you, then she shouldn't take away things that help you cope. If she does try, you could try explaining to her that having this kind of support is ultimately something that's part of what's best for you, and you need her to work with you in coping, not against what you've found that works.

And just inc ase, my library has a section of computers available for public use. You check into yours, maybe...


Drown in the music,
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and let the scars fade.
   
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Re: I don't know where else to turn - June 2nd 2009, 03:09 PM

Just try talking with her. I know its hard to talk to parents about things especially if your not close with them. But just explain to her your going through a tough time right now and your really stressed and maybe she'll understand.


   
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Re: I don't know where else to turn - June 3rd 2009, 12:13 AM

well, the type of person my mom is, if I tell her I'm on a site dedicated to helping teens cope with various problems, she'll suspect she's at fault, and she will bug out. It's scary. She has these siezure like episodes when she goes through shock like that. And I can't take lying anymore. She asked me about it again today, and I said I had to schedule a meeting with my counseler to get a printout of my grades, not because I feel so bad, and like a failure.

And I'm tired of being a failure. I'm tired of being looked to for redemption from my father. I wish, that just once, something would go right for me. I would never, ever complain again. I wish I was good enough a son, a brother, and a friend. I wish my mom didn't have to just listen when parents talk about their children's grades. But that's all I am. Wishful thinking. I've become the epitome of a let down, and a failure. Never, in my whole life have I felt so desperately ALONE. I can't sleep at night, hoping maybe a truck would hit our bus, and if I was hurt, people would like me out of sympathy. And I feel so selfish thinking like this.
And most of all, I'm sick of crying like a little baby. I wish the tears would stop. i won't even be actually crying, but the tears come, and don't stop.


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Re: I don't know where else to turn - June 3rd 2009, 01:13 AM

Toz I dont think your a failure at all. I think that if you are trying then thats all that matters. You do not have to be the perfect son brother and friend. If you are being you and your trying then your absoultly fine. Your not alone either theres people out there that can relate to you people on this site people everywhere. Why dont you talk to somebody about how your feeling. Make an appointment with your consuler get your grades figured out and keep trying. I know its hard and you prolly want to give up but dont. Get through this like I know you can! You seem like a really caring guy and I know you can get through this.


   
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Re: I don't know where else to turn - June 3rd 2009, 03:06 AM

But "trying" isn't gonna cut it. If I'm gonna get into college and get a good job, I have to be nothing short of stellar. WHich I'm far short of.

And I've become a dissapointment to all. I'm so tired. I can't bounce back this time; failure is becoming way too familiar.


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Re: I don't know where else to turn - June 3rd 2009, 03:51 AM

Thats why you need to get help with your school work. Get help bringing your grade up. Everybody dissapointes somebody in their life time and everybody gets dissapointed nobodys perfect. You can get grade up but your gonna havta work at it.


   
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Re: I don't know where else to turn - June 3rd 2009, 04:55 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by auron_16 View Post
If I'm gonna get into college and get a good job, I have to be nothing short of stellar.
Er, actually, not really. My dad got - more letters towards the lower end of the alphabet - consistently throughout school But he still got into college. He runs his own business, has a family, that sort of thing. And my cousin just recently graduated from high school after getting into all the colleges he applied to, even though he also was - not the most stellar - at school. And he's still a great guy, people like him, and he has bright prospects.

And given what I've seen of you, you're doing pretty well in terms of stellar-ness. And you want to do well - which is a major factor in actually doing so. I think that if you keep up the personal motivation, you'll do great. But don't be afraid to ask for help if you need any with classes and things in general. And make sure that what you're doing is something that you want to do for you, not for others and their expectations. You don't have to be anyone other than the person who makes you happy. That's real success. And I think others will probably be more proud of you for having shown how to make the best decisions for one's own well-being rather, being happy with your choices, rather than following what everyone else thinks you should do and ending up miserable as a result. Pleasing others is exhausting. It's when we remember that we should have a say in who we are that things don't drag so much.

Hang in there


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Re: I don't know where else to turn - June 4th 2009, 12:09 AM

I spoke with him today. He said the counseling I'm going to get later this month would help. There's no way I could fail English unless I bomb the final and get lower than a 51%. There's no way I could fail AP World History too. I told him it would still affect my GPA negatively. He said GPA isn't everything. He thinks, that because of the emotional baggage that I'm carrying around with me, I'm getting lost. He also agreed with me when I told him about how I had bad luck with some stuff, and why I thought I did.

My mom's seen my grade report for English. She's mad. She gave me the whole "This isn't what I fought custody battles for" lecture I always get, though that doesn't stop it from hurting. Now she wants to see my interim, still, and I still have the other F in AP World and the D+ in math.
my problems never seem to end.
I want it all to stop. Everything. All the stress effects my health, too. I get bad stomach aches, that sometimes drive me to the ER. They are accompanied by fever, once I had a 104.6 fever during one of these. I get massive headaches, where my vision goes,and all i see are bright lights at the corners of my vision.


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Re: I don't know where else to turn - June 4th 2009, 03:17 AM

Hi Toz,

Well, it sounds like the counselor might be able to be a big help.

F's and D+'s can change. And they really don't say anything about your character, which is way more important (and from what I've seen, if graded, would get whatever people who deserve more than A+'s would get). And in the long-term, you can always start fresh next year. A steady grade showing improvement in an area is definitely worth a lot.

And your mom's right, grades aren't what she fought custody battles for. You are. You're her kid, not her trophy wall, and in the end she'll always be proud of you, even if in the anger of a moment she doesn't show that.

So try to keep your chin up

Unfortunately, the world isn't perfect, so people typically always have some sort of problem to deal with. But thankfully, problems aren't always overwhelming. And all the non-problematic parts and moments of life make up for the times that are.

Have you mentioned the physical effects of your stress to your counselor? Or to your doctor? They might be able to figure out something to help you handle that.

Hang in there. And feel free to PM me anytime!

<- random smiley face for you (I enjoy giving these out from time to time... )


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and let the scars fade.
   
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Re: I don't know where else to turn - June 4th 2009, 02:29 PM

Like Dancer said that consuler might be able to really help you if you let him.
You can get your grades up I really beilive you can. I had a F in Algebra and a F in APS. at the end of 3rd quarter. But I raised my algebra up to a D and my Aps up to a C- and those classes were hard. So I know you can do it, you've just got to focus.

Dont let your mom get to you. You just get focused get yourself together can you do that for me? Your school year cant be going on for much longer mines aleardy over with, so all you've got to do is study and pay attention due your homework for a couple more weeks and then you get a break. Keep thinking that.

Maybe if you get yourself focused you wont be as stressed and then your headaches and stomach aches might start going away. Keep thinking on the brightside.


   
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Re: I don't know where else to turn - June 8th 2009, 01:30 PM

Thanks, Kendi and Dancer

My internet's been out so I haven't had a chance to get on
But, as for the problems.... My mom seemingly forgot about the interim, until a few minutes ago. But I'm probably not gonna show it to her. Report cards come out the 24th, and school ends the 19th, so I may as well wait until then. I don't know anymore. I'll post later, my bus is almost here.


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