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TH Anonymous Offline
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Having trouble accepting myself - August 20th 2018, 04:58 AM

[SIZE="a"]Hey, I've posted about this before and i need to explain how my situation has progressed.

So I'm having extreme trouble accepting bdsm. Everyone I've talked to has told me it's okay to like bdsm but for some reason i can't bring myself to accept it. I tell myself it's okay but it just makes it worse. Why can't i just accept it and get on with my life? Sometimes I think it makes me creepy, or I don't want to make it myself whole lifestyle. I want so bad to just accept it as something I'm into. I decided to try taking a break from it because every time i look at it it just kind of makes me feel disgusted.

Any advice on this situaton?[/size]
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Celyn Offline
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Re: Having trouble accepting myself - August 26th 2018, 12:54 PM

How come you sometimes think it makes you creepy? Sometimes we might get thoughts that if we sat and think about them, we may worry that these thoughts make us creepy. But they don't, they are just thoughts. In terms of bdsm, there's nothing wrong with thinking or fantasising about things as it's just in your mind. In reality,if you were to act on these thoughts, you would make sure that everything is safe, consensual and legal, so there's nothing 'creepy' about it.

You don't have to make bdsm a lifestyle choice. It can be just something you are interested in.

It's okay to take a break, if it helps. However, sometimes trying not to think of something can often be worse as you may end up focussing more on it (the whole try not to think of the pink elephant experiment).

Maybe it might help to write a letter of how you feel confused and disgusted by liking bdsm and then another letter as a response trying to be supportive and helpful towards yourself....kind of thinking about how you would respond if someone else had this issue, but addressing it to yourself instead?

Another thing, if thoughts and obsessions get stuck in your mind, you may want to get professional help. We can become consumed by worries and fears and it can get in the way of living your life so getting help can break the cycle.

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