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Unhappy In a bad place again. - December 20th 2018, 05:50 AM

For the last months, Iíve been fine but it could be because I was distracted often but now Iím not focused. My feelings of having to die have came resurfaced and I canít stop thinking of it. Weíre in debt and I feel like I have no control over anything again. I feel like a ticking time bomb right now and Iíve already had a mental breakdown earlier. I just graduated college and itís around Christmas time but like two christmasí ago, I was severely depressed and had no control anything. I have severe food anxiety because of it so thinking of it now makes me depressed and anxious again.

"I'm not a piece of cake for you to just discard
While you walk away with the frosting of my heart
So I'm taking back what's mine, you'll miss
The slice of heaven that I gave to you last night
." - "Cake" by Melanie Martinez

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Re: In a bad place again. - December 20th 2018, 11:08 AM

Do you have anyone you can talk to like a therapist that can recommend activities that can keep you busy. In your post you said while you were distracted that helped. Maybe you should be getting involved in things that might help take your mind off of some of these other things even for a short period period of time. Like maybe writing, coloring, taking long walks, listening to music, maybe volunteering someplace.

Darkness Keeps Chasing Me~ Grace VanderWaal
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Re: In a bad place again. - December 21st 2018, 07:15 PM

Hi there. First of all, congrats on graduating from college! That's a HUGE accomplishment and you should be so proud of yourself!

However, a lot of people really struggle right after graduation because it can lead to a lot of scary unknowns. There can be a lot of uncertainty about what's going to happen next. Do you think that graduating college could be part of what triggered you to start feeling depressed again? If so, it might help a lot just to make some small plans. You don't have to try to figure out your whole career, but maybe setting some small goals - e.g., getting a part-time job at ___, picking up a volunteer position that makes you happy, going for a walk every morning, etc. Sometimes working towards attainable goals like this can help you feel like you have more control over your life, and this may be really helpful when you otherwise might feel like your life is kind of out of control right now.

You could also consider ways that you might be able to minimize any extra stress and pressure in your life right now. For example, if you're living alone and struggling to pay rent as a brand-new grad, could you live with your parents for a while? Get roommates? Move to a cheaper apartment?

If you are able to, I also strongly encourage you to try seeing a therapist! If cost/insurance is an issue, many therapists will take payment on a sliding scale, and there are also online options that you can look into. It also sounds like you're feeling suicidal, and I encourage you to call or text a hotline any time you feel like you need help getting through those thoughts and urges.

Hopefully this helps, and I really hope that your situation starts to look up soon! Please hang in there and take care of yourself.
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Re: In a bad place again. - December 23rd 2018, 07:38 PM

Mary, first congratulations on graduating college. That is such a huge accomplishment. I received my undergrad in Psychology and am now working on my Master's in School Counseling. I remember when about to graduate with my undergrad that many professors said now you enter the stressful real world. Boy were they correct.

I agree with Hailey12 in that you don't have to figure it all out right away. Take things in small steps. You still have your entire life ahead of you to figure it all out. College prepares you with book knowledge and in many ways how to succeed knowledge as well. Taking these small steps is one of those how to succeed in the world knowledge moments that your learned in college. I would really like to chat with you if you would like to. If you want to send me a message anytime please do so.
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