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charger Offline
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I'm pretty fake - April 18th 2019, 05:11 AM

I am pretty fake, I lie about my life a lot to seem more likable to others, except, that's online. I know for a fact in real life I'm a horrible person and I can't get over myself. When I first met my online friends, they were happy, so I just joined their group, obviously I faked being kind and happy with them. After spending more and more time with them I saw their real personality and thought that if I too showed mine they would be okay, only once or twice and I've caused drastic trouble(such as a friend leaving or cutting themself). When I go back to faking, they still don't like me, what am I to do when they don't like the real me or the fake me? I've really been feeling down and can't help but feel like getting into cutting.
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Celyn Offline
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Re: I'm pretty fake - April 22nd 2019, 03:41 PM

Hey there (and welcome to TeenHelp!)

I'm sorry to hear that you are struggling with how you feel about yourself and how this affects your friendships. I'm wondering though, how do you know that you are a horrible person? Many times we can be our worst critics and feel bad about ourselves and yet the reality can be very different. I understand that you would want to fit in and be liked by others and that you may resort o lying about your life. How would you feel if you cut down on the lies? People should like you for who you are and even though social expectations may mean that you should try to be kind and happy, it shouldn't mean that you have to make things up to get others to like you.

With your online friends, you mention that at first they seemed happy and then gradually, they showed their real selves so you did the same. Unfortunately, this lead to friends leaving and cutting. But I'm wondering if these things were less to do with you? When we first start to get to know someone, we may keep things 'superficial' and not give much information on our lives and feelings. But later on, when we get more comfortable with others, we may become more open with them. Sometimes, the friends we thought who were always happy, may have secretly struggled with their own feelings that we didn't know about before.

When you went back to faking, you say that your friends still didn't like you. It may be that they don't know what to believe or who the real you is vs when you are faking.

It's good that you have realised that you tell lies and why you do this. Is it possible it make amends with these friends and apologise for the lies and let them know that you only lied about things because you want to be liked?

I'm sorry to hear that you've been feeling down about this and feel like getting into cutting. You might want to check out our alternatives to self-harm page here http://www.teenhelp.org/alternatives/ for ideas on what to do instead of cutting.

It makes sense that you would feel this way when you try being nice but aren't liked and then aren't liked for yourself either. But that doesn't mean you are a horrible person at all. It's natural to want to be liked- every person does. I'm wondering if you have told anyone about how you have been feeling and the struggles you have with your friendships? If not, it might be worth opening up to someone you trust or a counsellor as they may be able to help explore things further.

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Re: I'm pretty fake - April 24th 2019, 01:26 AM

I guess the answer to your question is to love yourself. People won't accept you unless you started to love all your flaws and be who you are. Stop pretending to be somebody else, people will appreciate you if you show them the real you. Sending you hugs.
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