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Shooglll Offline
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Unhappy I need help. Boyfriend/Depression/Mom/Social - May 30th 2009, 10:06 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Basically, I've been with my boyfriend for 6 months now. My Moms rules are no boys in the house when she isn't home, I am 17. On the last day of school, I broke that rule for the first time and my boyfriend and I took a shower together. She came home, all hell broke loose. I've been extremely depressed anyways lately because he has joined the marines and is leaving in three months. I'm going to the doctor about my depression, lonliness, lack of appetite, constant crying, fuzzinness, urge to get back into drugs. Anyways, I'm grounded and unable to see my bestfriend/boyfriend. Obviously I understand that I am being punished but I am used to spending at least 9 hours a day with him and am seriously lost. I have no other friends, outer activities. I cry so much, the only thing that makes me happy right now is pilates and hearing him tell me that it's going to be okay. I need another adult to look at this situation and tell me what they think. Also, I lived with my grandpa for 14 years. My mom was into drugs and a bartender... I rarely saw her. She hasn't wanted to be amother until high school when I started getting involved in drugs. I'm clean/sober now but I hate her, I have no respect for her and that is most likely the reason I do not respect her rules. I have a three year old brother who she is raising the same way as me and it is stressing me out watching her ruin his life also. My father is dead, my grandpa was my only parent honestly and now I live with my Mom and hardly see him. It is summer, and I have been sitting day by day in a dark house doing nothing for a week. It is seriously making me depressed. I need ideas as to what to tell my doctor about my depression next wednesday when I see her. My other doctor diagnosed me with add and prescribed me adderol but my mom freaked out because i used to do drugs and switched our doctors. I think maybe I am not as depressed as I think, that maybe I am more confused. I sometimes feel retarded, or crazy because I cannot focus on anything. I spend a lot of time thinking about the past because it is set in stone and very clear, but the present is extremely blurry which is why I make poor decisions sometimes. I excel in school, I had the highest gpa in my class this year and I just got accepted into a medical assisting program at a local votech. Yet, I am still unhappy. Actually I dont know if I'm happy or not... I'm just confused. Basically, I need help figuring out why I am so confused/fuzzy. What to tell my doctor... Do you have any suggestions as far as things I can do while I'm grounded. How to be less negative? I just need help and have no transportation or money to get it proffessionally. Thanks, Kylie.
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LiveLaughLove Offline
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Re: I need help. Boyfriend/Depression/Mom/Social - May 31st 2009, 02:24 AM

Ki Kylie ~ Welcome to TH. I'm glad you found the site... and I hope it helps
Ouch, I'm really sorry about all of that I'd suggest talking to him on the phone, and hanging out for a while after school (If you still have school). I suppose you could get movies to watch, go on the internet, talk to him on the phone, watch TV, do summer homework, or make something cute for your boyfriend (Idk... letters from you, pictures of the two of you, songs tat remind you of him... written in a book or something to give to him before he leaves) while you're grounded. And think about things you'd like to do together/ places you like to go together before he leaves... you could put it in the book and write about them afterwards, before you give it to him... that'd be so cute. You could really do lots of things [:
As for what to tell your doctor, I think that you should tell her exactly what you wrote here... just tell her how you feel, and what you're confused about, as well as what's been going on... and then she'll take it from there.
I really hope that things start looking up~ its great that you have such a supportive guy helping you through it all
Feel free to PM me if you ever want to talk.
Again, welcome to TH!

PM anytime (: ................ ☮ ♥ ♪ ♫ la la di da : )
i am beautiful because that's how i see myself.
talented, because i have confidence in what i do.
scarred because at times, i couldn't take it.
strong, because one day, i chose to be.
loveable because i've learned to love myself.
and also because, same as everyone else,
i was born that way.
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