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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Lost_Confused Offline
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Exclamation I need serious help right now.. - June 1st 2009, 12:15 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

So I actually cried just now..
I NEVER cry.
Even when I'm really down and sad and such, I never can cry.
And just now I'm on my bed, and was bawling my eyes out.
I feel like a failure, and my mom doesn't help..
I feel like no one cares..
I feel alone, scared, and a wreck.
I'm thinking of ending it all tonight, just get it over.
My stomach was bad today, and it was horrible last night..
I have no idea what I have, I just now it's awful..
I want to end it NOW
No one cares.
No one will.
Why should they?
I'm just a failure who pretends to be someone she's not.
I'm just so ... tired of pretending!
At times like these, I wish I could cuss...
But I can't..
But I'm just tired of it all!
Please... Someone save me before I do something drastic to myself or to someone else.. :cry:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ih61MJ72v1Y
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ewO5NWQ97sI
I feel like that.
Just Everybody's Fool, or Dead and Cold.

Last edited by Lost_Confused; June 1st 2009 at 11:46 AM.
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I need serious help right now.. - June 1st 2009, 12:27 AM

I'm sorry to hear this. You are not a failure. I am sure your are talented and a great person. Just focus on the happy things in life


Formerly Known as 747
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I need serious help right now.. - June 1st 2009, 12:58 AM

People care about you. Theres always someone even if you can't necessarily see it. Things will get better. try thinking positively. You're not a failure. Everyone meens something good to someone so no one can be a failure
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I need serious help right now.. - June 1st 2009, 01:00 AM

Quote:
I'm sorry to hear this. You are not a failure. I am sure your are talented and a great person. Just focus on the happy things in life
I doubt it.
I can't do anything right.


Quote:
People care about you. Theres always someone even if you can't necessarily see it. Things will get better. try thinking positively. You're not a failure. Everyone meens something good to someone so no one can be a failure
Who?
Who on earth could possibly care about a mess-up like me?!
   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I need serious help right now.. - June 1st 2009, 01:15 AM

Hey there.
I'm really sorry about how you're feeling at the moment.
I'm paddy, And i'll see if we can sort somthing out okay?
I know one reason, actually i know alot of reasons as too why people what you around; You're caring, a VERY nice person.
You look out for friends.

Is there any one you could speak too about feeling this way?
Speaking is very difficult, but can help so much.
I'm allways here too chat in here, via PM/VM.

Keep strong.

Paddy.


If you live for ever?

what do you live for?
   
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I need serious help right now.. - June 1st 2009, 01:29 AM

Quote:
You look out for friends.

Is there any one you could speak too about feeling this way?
Speaking is very difficult, but can help so much.
I'm allways here too chat in here, via PM/VM.


That's one of the reasons I'm alone..

Haha, no.
Like I said, no one cares.
   
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Re: I need serious help right now.. - June 1st 2009, 01:36 AM

Well you've got us here at TH supporting you, through any tough times you may have, we all have them - and appreciate how tough it is.

But how dark things may seem now, things can and will get alot better!
What types of things do you like doing?


If you live for ever?

what do you live for?
   
  (#8 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I need serious help right now.. - June 1st 2009, 01:51 AM

Nothing, really.
Except get on the computer, and read and sometimes crochet, but besides that I don't do much.
   
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Re: I need serious help right now.. - June 2nd 2009, 01:10 AM

Yknow everybody has there own way out. I'm sure yours is just hard to see right now. There are people who care, but you fail to see it. Smile and breathe.
   
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Re: I need serious help right now.. - June 2nd 2009, 02:54 AM

Everything you hear is going to sound like lies and bullshit. Honestly. I was depressed for the past three years. This summer, of 08, I realized that it wasn't getting me anywhere.
See there's this quote that I've been living off of for the longest time now. I don't know how I do it, but it's all about the will power.
Being happy doesn't mean everything is perfect, it means looking beyond the imperfections.

I have an important question.
Do you want to be happy and get your life back on track?
cause I know sometimes, I don't. Especially for the longest time, I hated anything remotely happy because it always took way too much effort. But you really have to think and you really have to have the will power. I've tried to kill myself at least 5 times. It's not worth it, I wish I knew your name so I could put some real meaning into this.
I swear things will get better.
I swear to you. My life, and others I'm sure, things always slap them in the face. No matter how hard we try, things don't work out. I know how you feel, maybe not your situation or your circumstances, but I know the heaviness you feel. I know the weight on your heart. I'm telling you, you just need to talk to yourself or talk to someone and get it all out. Cry for days if you have to. Also, self harm doesn't do anything.
Now I look at my scars, I cringe. I regret it.

This is getting long and I don't want to take all of this space up, so definitely message me becauseI want to help you so bad!
I promise I'll do my best to help you and make you feel better.

With love<3!
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  (#11 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I need serious help right now.. - June 2nd 2009, 03:44 AM

Quote:
Do you want to be happy and get your life back on track?
Actually, yes I do.
I look at all these little kids running around, and they want to be grown up so bad.. I just want to sometimes shake them and be like; Sloowwww dowwnnn. Teenager/adulthood is the pits, there's nothing special about it.
:P



Quote:
I'm telling you, you just need to talk to yourself or talk to someone and get it all out.
I have a therepist, but I'm just afraid to talk about my feelings to anybody.
I guess I'm afraid that they'll tell my mom and I'm terrified of what she'll do if she found out..
   
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Re: I need serious help right now.. - June 2nd 2009, 03:48 AM

Hey there,

yeah, I understand how terrifying it can be to tell a therapist about what's going on - but in the end, they're there to help to you, and even though it's ridiculously scary, it's worth it for you to tell them what's going on. Even if there is a parental storm at first, afterwards the clouds in general will break, so momentary tempests are typically worth the getting-better-ness afterwards.

p.s. I love your avatar


Drown in the music,
dance in the rain,
block out the thunder,
and let the scars fade.
   
  (#13 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I need serious help right now.. - June 3rd 2009, 01:04 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Lost_Confused View Post
Actually, yes I do.
I look at all these little kids running around, and they want to be grown up so bad.. I just want to sometimes shake them and be like; Sloowwww dowwnnn. Teenager/adulthood is the pits, there's nothing special about it.
:P

Awh girl I feel you. But that's a start. If you want to be happy and figure things out, it'll definitely help you get where you want to be.




I have a therepist, but I'm just afraid to talk about my feelings to anybody.
I guess I'm afraid that they'll tell my mom and I'm terrified of what she'll do if she found out..

I used to be so scared of my mom finding out anything. But honestly, our mothers love us to the point where its not even fathomable to us because we're not mothers. They would do anything to make us happy, you know? I hate talking about things, I always feel like I complain or it's a burden. But really, it's not! Not at all. I went to a guidance counselor in school, which sounds sooo stupid. I was fine like completely fine. And once she got me talking, I just started crying and crying. But she understood and it felt so nice. Your therapist really does want you to be happy and get rid of your problems, that's why it's their jobs (:

I always write so lengthily! Haha sorry!




"What I want is to be needed. What I need is to be indispensable to somebody. Who I need is somebody that will eat up all my free time, my ego, my attention. Somebody addicted to me. A mutual addiction."

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  (#14 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I need serious help right now.. - June 3rd 2009, 05:04 AM

Quote:
yeah, I understand how terrifying it can be to tell a therapist about what's going on - but in the end, they're there to help to you, and even though it's ridiculously scary, it's worth it for you to tell them what's going on. Even if there is a parental storm at first, afterwards the clouds in general will break, so momentary tempests are typically worth the getting-better-ness afterwards.
I'm not sure how to tell her though... And what if it gets worse instead of better?

And thanks (:



Quote:
I used to be so scared of my mom finding out anything. But honestly, our mothers love us to the point where its not even fathomable to us because we're not mothers. They would do anything to make us happy, you know? I hate talking about things, I always feel like I complain or it's a burden. But really, it's not! Not at all. I went to a guidance counselor in school, which sounds sooo stupid. I was fine like completely fine. And once she got me talking, I just started crying and crying. But she understood and it felt so nice. Your therapist really does want you to be happy and get rid of your problems, that's why it's their jobs (:

I always write so lengthily! Haha sorry!
Haha if you met my mother, you'd think differently.
'Course, she always acts one way around me and my dad, another way around my sisters, and another way around everyone else..

Thats ok :]
   
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Re: I need serious help right now.. - June 3rd 2009, 05:09 AM

So, for suggestions on how to tell therapists, you could try writing a list of things you want to tell her, that way you don't have to worry about bringing the topic up. Or you could write a more extensive note for her to read - a sort of "here's what I have to say" thing, but then the whole vocal-chords-not-working thing isn't a concern for getting it all out. But whatever you want to say, I would suggest being direct - starting right off on-topic rather than skirting around things gets the scary part over with faster and is more effective than only saying vague things and hoping your therapist can read your mind and figure out the extent of what you actually mean (I've had some experience with that one...)

Anyway, I hope maybe some of that sounds helpful.


Drown in the music,
dance in the rain,
block out the thunder,
and let the scars fade.
   
  (#16 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I need serious help right now.. - June 3rd 2009, 08:10 AM

Ohmygod.

I'm seriously contemplating slicing my wrists.
I feel sick and my throat is clogging up, but I can't drink anything.
It doesn't help at all, and it makes me feel worse.
I'm super shaky, and I feel like I'm about to barf, but it's not coming up.
D;


I have no idea what's wrong with me, I just know that it's painful, it's horrible, and I want it GONE
   
  (#17 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I need serious help right now.. - June 3rd 2009, 11:20 PM

Nonononoo
breathe please! Breathe, calm down. I used to get like that, to the point where I'd pass out. Just breathe, real slow and steadily. Try not to get too active cause that will make it worse. Maybe take a nap? Just try and focus on something else to make it go away!




"What I want is to be needed. What I need is to be indispensable to somebody. Who I need is somebody that will eat up all my free time, my ego, my attention. Somebody addicted to me. A mutual addiction."

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  (#18 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I need serious help right now.. - June 4th 2009, 04:09 AM

I did, but it started cutting off my air supply a bit.
I kept sipping and gurgling water even though it made me feel sick and after like 4 hours it finally calmed down a bit.
I was just laying on my bed, and I felt super sick, but I couldn't throw up even though it almost came up.
I finally fell asleep at ... 5? then slept for a couple hours.
I'm still really tired...
   
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Re: I need serious help right now.. - June 4th 2009, 04:23 AM

Hey there,

eep. *hugs* That does not sound so good. Panic attacks are not fun.

Other than tired, how are you feeling now? Hope you're doing okay.

Keep getting rest, though. Thankfully tiredness is something that one can make go away


Drown in the music,
dance in the rain,
block out the thunder,
and let the scars fade.
   
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Re: I need serious help right now.. - June 4th 2009, 04:42 AM

Quote:
Hey there,

eep. *hugs* That does not sound so good. Panic attacks are not fun.

Other than tired, how are you feeling now? Hope you're doing okay.

Keep getting rest, though. Thankfully tiredness is something that one can make go away
Ehhh, not too good actually...
I can't seem to get enough sleep.
I'm getting my hair cut tomorrow, and I'm coloring it friday ^^
   
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Re: I need serious help right now.. - June 4th 2009, 04:46 AM

*more hugs*

Sorry that you're not doing too good. Anything you want to talk about?

Yeah, sleep sometimes seems to evade me, too, when I need it... like during final exams week...

Getting one's hair done is exciting Doing anything particularly interesting with the coloring?


Drown in the music,
dance in the rain,
block out the thunder,
and let the scars fade.
   
  (#22 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I need serious help right now.. - June 4th 2009, 07:44 AM

Ugh, tonight's not too good either, but at least it's better than the other night...
Now THAT was a nightmare!

I've barely gotten any sleep and it's 1:45 here.
Ughh..
   
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Re: I need serious help right now.. - June 5th 2009, 04:26 AM

Hey there,

sorry that tonight wasn't so great, either But I'm glad to hear it was at least a little better. I hope that you maybe are getting some rest now

Hang in there


Drown in the music,
dance in the rain,
block out the thunder,
and let the scars fade.
   
  (#24 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I need serious help right now.. - June 5th 2009, 09:30 PM

How are you feeling?
Good I'm hoping!

If not, tell me how to make your day better




"What I want is to be needed. What I need is to be indispensable to somebody. Who I need is somebody that will eat up all my free time, my ego, my attention. Somebody addicted to me. A mutual addiction."

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Re: I need serious help right now.. - June 6th 2009, 12:59 AM

Quote:

Hey there,

sorry that tonight wasn't so great, either But I'm glad to hear it was at least a little better. I hope that you maybe are getting some rest now

Hang in there
I actually slept all night!
It was amazing O:



Quote:
How are you feeling?
Good I'm hoping!
I'm really tired.
My mom and I went out to this garden-type place, and we were painting for hours.
I got a tan though!
   
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Re: I need serious help right now.. - June 6th 2009, 05:17 AM

Yay for sleep! And yay for tans! Lucky you. I don't get those. I typically go right to burnt if I don't put on enough sunscreen

Wishing you happy days


Drown in the music,
dance in the rain,
block out the thunder,
and let the scars fade.
   
  (#27 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I need serious help right now.. - June 8th 2009, 12:11 AM

Awh! That sounds like so much fun. (:
I'm glad it seems like things are getting a little better.




"What I want is to be needed. What I need is to be indispensable to somebody. Who I need is somebody that will eat up all my free time, my ego, my attention. Somebody addicted to me. A mutual addiction."

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  (#28 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I need serious help right now.. - June 8th 2009, 03:36 AM

Quote:
Yay for sleep! And yay for tans! Lucky you. I don't get those. I typically go right to burnt if I don't put on enough sunscreen

Wishing you happy days
Never mind.
I got really really burnt on my shoulders Dx
   
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Re: I need serious help right now.. - June 8th 2009, 05:45 AM

Yikes! That's happened to me before - not so fun. Persistently putting on aloe can make things so much better, though.


Drown in the music,
dance in the rain,
block out the thunder,
and let the scars fade.
   
  (#30 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I need serious help right now.. - June 8th 2009, 04:02 PM

Yikes! That's happened to me before - not so fun. Persistently putting on aloe can make things so much better, though.

I've noticed.
I need more aloe, because the stuff we have isn't that good.
   
  (#31 (permalink)) Old
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Re: I need serious help right now.. - June 8th 2009, 04:10 PM

Hey,

Sorry I didn't reply to this earlier - I'm glad that you seem to be feeling a little better.
As this is turning into more chit-chat rather than support or advice, i'm going to close this thread. However, if you feel as though you do need some extra help or advice please don't hesitate to make a new thread.
If you want to continue to talk to each other then you could always VM or PM each other

   
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