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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
idontknow Offline
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i'm a mess. - June 6th 2009, 09:28 AM

for the first time in my life i honestly wish i was dead.
how fucked up is that?
I don't know what to do.
I messed up. I continue to.
I drink I make an ass of myself.,
I now had sex 3 times? i dont even know.
all with guys i met that night.
my friends are all fed up with me.
there done.
and i don't blame them.
my family, my mom. shes mad at me. i can feel it.
but this last night.
i did something so, unbelievably embarrassing i cannot even write it.
i am disgusted with myself.
all i want is to start over
move away.
but i cant.
i am going to be here next year.
i hate that.
i honestly don't know what to do.
I have to stop drinking,
but living with all the things i have done,
its eating me alive,.
i dont know how to move on and change
how to be positive.
how to change the views of everyone who can't stand me anymore.
i need help.
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Qwazi Offline
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Re: i'm a mess. - June 6th 2009, 09:49 AM

Hey,

Im so sorry that stuff has turned out this way.Well done on identifying a few things that you need to do, such as stop drinking. Find yourself a nice, bf and loyal friends that you can trust. Your have a new year approaching (school wise). Make it a good year with good grades. There's plenty of time to party - when you get to college


Formerly Known as 747
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
live.laugh.love
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Re: i'm a mess. - June 6th 2009, 04:50 PM

Hey,

Well you can't change your past mistakes but you can learn from them. If you want to start over, well, you can do that as well. Just tell yourself that you are not going to re-make the same mistakes you have before in that past. Tell somebody that will hold you accountable to that, so if you do mess up or feel like it they will be there.



Is it possible that you can make things up between you and your friends. Sometimes people just don't know how to handle us and our problems, so they distance themselves. It doens't mean they don't care. Try talking to them. Same with your family and your mom!

You can change and things will look better!
Hang in there. If you ever want to talk, PM me <3


when life is in discord; praise ye the Lord

keep your faith alive.
we're not alone <3
   
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Palmolive Offline
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Re: i'm a mess. - June 6th 2009, 08:11 PM

Hey there :],
It sounds like your going through a really hard time, and im sorry to hear that. You still here, you havn't given up which mean there is still strengh inside you, even if you don't yet know it.

Have you thought about talking to anyone about how you feel? If not, you should think about it. Here is a list of hotlines ... Hotlines. - TeenHelp.org Support Forums. Take a look at them. Otherwise you could see your doctor, a parent, a teacher or maybe a school nurse? They are all there to help you and you deserve the best help you can get.

Your not a bad person. Even if you have made mistakes, we all do. Your a strong person, and i belive in you. Believe in yourself. We're all here to try to help you and to support you.

Take Care, and always feel free to PM me
Jess


"Only in the dark, can you see the stars..."
Josie 12/3/2014, always in my heart. Sue 19/2/2016; Peter, Ellie, Hannah, Andy, Kirtsie RIP.

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