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Name: cassieee.
Age: 27
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wish i could die. ): - June 13th 2009, 01:48 AM

it's kind of funny whenever your sick of seeing like all of these "happy" families. i know every family has problems and has hardships but at least a lot of them always have love. i want love. i mean, people love me and stuff but it's not the same thing...something is always going to be missing. always.

life it hard.
and i feel like crying my eyes out.
but i have to hold that in til at least sunday.
tomorrow is my birthday so i have to at least put on an act.

i'm pathetic, yesterday at church somebody close to me, who i view as a 'father figure' tried to hug me and i just pull away because i get freaked out. i'm not used to people esp. like having adults want to hug me and talk to me and help me....i've never had that and it scared me. it's weird because sometimes i love that attention and i love the hugs and stuff but then sometimes i get so terrified of it. i don't know what's wrong with me. i'm going to push everybody away and nobody is going to love me anymore.... i want that and at the same time i don't want that... i wanna be loved but at the same time i want to make everybody so mad that they hate me.

i don't understand myself, nobody understands me. ]=
i just wish i could be dead right now.

when life is in discord; praise ye the Lord

keep your faith alive.
we're not alone <3
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Re: wish i could die. ): - June 13th 2009, 03:15 AM

You ARE loved. You may not be able to see past the pain right now, but please know that there are always going to be people in your life who care about you and want to see you healthy and happy. =) And, I would assume from your username that you believe in God... which in that case, know that there will always be a supreme being, capable to unconditional love, that will be watching over you in life.

Feel free to PM me if you want to talk in private.

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