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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
live.laugh.love
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i'm done. - June 19th 2009, 11:33 PM

people just get what they want to understand.
they hear what they want to hear and that's it.
"stop cassie, you had a good day yesterday and you met with her and you had a good meeting"
I don't know where the "you had a good day yesterday" came from because I did NOT. Besides,when I went and talked to somebody I just said what they wanted to hear.

So screw it I'm done because I'm just going to be that girl who wants attention when I DONT. Well, I do but because I want somebody to HELP me and I mean it when I say I want to die and cut, it's not a game too me and people say it's not a game to them, but they act like it.
So I have two options, possibly if I don't give in before then.Either Sunday, I can go to youth group and talk to my youth leader, which was the person who said the "cassie stop" quote but later today commented me on myspace telling me to have a great day and that she loved me.that or i could talk to my pastor though i've never really spoken to him except for "hey, how are you" blahish.

but I doubt i'll make it that long as of now, i'm done.i quit, life is overr.
i shouldn't have even triedd.


when life is in discord; praise ye the Lord

keep your faith alive.
we're not alone <3
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
*Jen* Offline
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Re: i'm done. - June 19th 2009, 11:49 PM

Hey Cassie,

You should have tried because life is worth it. Don't give up Cassie because so many people care about you and right now I know it might feel all crap but it won't always be like that. I hate it when people just hear what they want to hear and are not understanding especially when all you want is for someone to be understanding. It really is annoying and frustrating but remember not everyone is like that. It is up to you who you talk to. If you feel your youth leader isn't going to be understanding then perhaps give it a go talking to your pastor. I know you say you haven't talked to them before about things but once you start talking to them it could open up new doors. Then it would be someone else for you to be able to talk to.

Keep going it will get easier in time Cassie. If you ever need anything then I am always here for you :-) Stay strong and don't give up.
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: i'm done. - June 19th 2009, 11:53 PM

Heyy, you should talk to your pastor, even though you havent really talked to him before he wants to help. I mean he is a pastor! I know my pastors would help anyone if they needed it, it wouldnt matter if they knew them. Just hold on to life, it does get better, I promise.


Everything was beautiful and nothing hurt.

Always? Always.
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: i'm done. - June 20th 2009, 12:01 AM

Cassie,

Gosh, I'm sorry people are so ignorant to your problems. It isn't a nice feeling to have something obviously tearing you apart, and no one respond with anything decent. Just because others are too blind or dense to notice that you're hurting, doesn't mean it's time to give up. It's never time to give up and you shouldn't hurt yourself because people don't know how to help. Some people don't know how to react when people talk about suicide and self harm. For many people, talking about anything like it is taboo. You deserve help and you deserve to be listened to and taken seriously. Unfortunately, it's easier to pretend everything is okay with the people you love, it's less to worry about. Your youth leader might really care, she might not know how to show it yet.

Don't think negative thoughts because I believe you can make it to ask for help. You're asking for help right now, so you haven't completely given up. That's a huge step. However, you can't expect people to know you need help if you smile and pretend what they want to see is real. If you're sad and upset, show it. No one can reach out to someone who doesn't look like they need help. I realize the people around you aren't supportive, but they don't get a chance to be supportive if they know nothing is wrong. Take that chance to be real with others and yourself. Allow yourself the chance to feel better. Until you can speak with those people you mentioned, just hang on. Concentrate on yourself and do what you need to in order to make yourself happy. That's all you need to worry about right now. Take time for yourself because you're trying to make it.

It isn't easy, it's never easy, but I see you're trying and I know you want a better life than what you're leading. None of that can happen if you give up too soon. Ending your life so early is leaving everything open and waiting to be solved. Nothing is certain right now and you can certainly get over anything that comes your way. I realize the people in your life might be distant to what you're feeling right now, but TH is here too. We can all be here to listen and believe you. I believe you and I know where you're coming from. I care and I would love to read a thread about your successful overcome of self harm and thoughts of suicide. Sometimes, you need people to believe in you before you can believe in yourself. I believe in you and in your cause. :] Back me up on this one.

If you need anyone to talk to or vent to or yell at, I'm only a PM away okay? Take care of yourself and prove just how right I am in believing you can do this.

-Have hope


01 // 10 // 11

Baby stand tall. You can have it all.

Don't you worry your pretty little mind, people throw rocks at things that shine..
   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
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Re: i'm done. - June 20th 2009, 03:59 AM

Hey Cassie,

I hope you're okay, hun!

I'm sorry that things didn't go well today. But Cassie, please don't give up - when people have the wrong perception, they tend to say the wrong thing. But if you tell them what's really going on, they typically stand up and take notice.

Please take good care of yourself.

PM me anytime!!! I'll be thinking about you <3


Drown in the music,
dance in the rain,
block out the thunder,
and let the scars fade.
   
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
live.laugh.love
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Re: i'm done. - June 20th 2009, 09:50 PM

I'm trying.
Like I don't know, my mom was all happy this morning waking me up to do something she wanted to do. So, I was like okay, sure, if it'll make her happy then I'll go. So, then we get home and she start's yelling and marching around the house. So, I ask her what's wrong and she starts yelling at me, like I did something wrong. I tried to be nice, I woke up extra early to go shopping with her, I wanted to sleep, but no I got up and got ready, drove her only to get yelled at an hour later. You know, they're always like "it's all about you cassie," it never feels like anything is for me. It's always about what they want to do. I had a gift card for the mall and my mom kept saying "will go ________" and then that day would come and she would be like "tomorrow" so finally my friend had to take me. i mean, now if that was something she wanted to do, guess what. we would have been up at like eight in the morning doing it.

that was strike one.

then me, because i'm stupid, decides to start thinking. and now i've basically talked myself out of talking with my pastor tomorrow. i had it all planned, i would somehow manage to get the courage up to approach him before service and yeah. but now, no. i'm thinking i'll just skip out and go to the youth group meeting we have (which i don't even like because yeah) and just not talk to anybody. so great, strike two.

i'm waiting for strike three, so i can just say "oh well, i tried, it's over."
geeze.


when life is in discord; praise ye the Lord

keep your faith alive.
we're not alone <3
   
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
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Re: i'm done. - June 20th 2009, 11:54 PM

Im sorry that you didnt have such a good day. Espically with ur mom yellin at u and everything else but please dont give up, i no its hard... And i think u should still talk to your pastor tomorrow like u were planning to, it could really help to just be able to talk with him. If you dont talk wiht him tomorrow ur prob gonna regret it later. I hope everything gets better and ur able to talk with someone srry if i wasnt much help...





380 days SH free
   
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Re: i'm done. - June 21st 2009, 04:21 AM

Cassie, honey,

don't give yourself limits, like that. Your mom was being ridiculous. What people say and what the situation is often don't correspond. But eventually you'll be able to get out of your house and not have to deal with it anymore. Hang in there.

Maybe try talking yourself back into it? Is there anyway you could call or contact your pastor beforehand to ask him to make sure you two talk, that way you know you'll talk regardless of your courage level at that moment?

But please, please take good care of yourself. You still have so much left in your life to actually enjoy, and so many people would be devastated (like me!) if you hurt yourself. You do do so much, Cassie, for others. When they don't realize that, disregard their own disregard and focus on taking care of you.

I kind of ran into a similar situation with my family, and a friend of mine wrote me a note that I think also applies for you:

"... Because you dared to care, they resent you. It is easier to blame you for the day than accept your only caring. Easier to call you lazy and horrible than to strive to be a better person. And you already are a better person - therefore a constant reminder of everything they aren't. And then instead of recognizing the wrongs of others, you accept their lies and believe they're your own faults - a lie in itself. They tell you you're not good enough, that you're a failure, that you're selfish, that you're fake and won't ever amount to anything - because those are their own faults. And if they can convince themselves that you're the one at fault, not them, then somehow that'll make them feel better. The harder they try, the worse they feel, the more they realize they themselves are the one at fault. Listen to your own words and ask yourself if they make sense. Remember that just because someone's your parent doesn't make them right. Jealousy drives people to do many things. Do, say, many harmful things. It is so much easier to convince themselves that another person is at fault than to admit their own faults. I wish that there was some way I could make these words worth something to you. Mean something. I am not a friend trying to console you, I am a human being pointing out what is right."

Cassie, you're a wonderful person. Don't ever forget that.

Hang in there.


Drown in the music,
dance in the rain,
block out the thunder,
and let the scars fade.
   
  (#9 (permalink)) Old
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Re: i'm done. - June 21st 2009, 04:45 AM

Firstly, unless your mum is abusing you don't worry about it, she has moods too, perhaps you're not the only one feeling crap. Yes, of COURSE everyone only wants to hear and do what they want to do, thats human nature. it's not like we want to do or listen to the things we hate.
As long as you have somewhere to sleep, some food, some water and clothes on your back you'll be right, and if you need something more than that, look to your god. religion is suppose to be there to help you through times like thins isn't it?
If you feel like s**t, you can either sit there and feel like s**t until it goes away or you can take your mind off it and do something about it.
Nothing is ever as bad as it seems.
Everyone here is lucky, we all have internet access which means we also have a computer and a house and what not, if you're feeling depressed, find out what's making you feel that way and change it, if you can't you must learn to live with it.
Sorry for the bluntness, but no one else is goign to make you happy. YOU have to make yourself happy...not your mum, not god.
Example..You have a choice, if someone calls you a fat-arse you can either cry and think you're fat or you can look at yourself and say "hah, as if i'm fat"..and if you are fat, lose weight. Think of your depression as something you can reject, because you can, and i know it cause i have.


"How can you get a goose out of a bottle?"
Imagine that a baby gosling was placed inside one of those big glass bottles with a little opening that you see model ships in, and raised inside, until it is fully grown and can no longer fit out through the neck of the bottle. How can you get the goose out of the bottle? Without hurting/killing the goose.

If i don't respond, it's because you haven't said anything.

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