TeenHelp
Support Forums Today's Posts

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives


You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!


Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
DreamCatcher.x Offline
Live Fast, Die Young.
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
DreamCatcher.x's Avatar
 
Gender: Female
Location: UK

Posts: 18
Blog Entries: 9
Join Date: April 11th 2009

Why Me? - June 20th 2009, 02:06 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of rape or abuse, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

So many of us have had it.
Many of us had all of it, some has had different.
We all ask the same question.
Why Me?
What did I do?

I ask that now, I ask that every day.
Some days I feel yes, it was me. me. my fault.
Wrong place, wrong time.
Oh never good enough.
Maybe I didn't fight back.

Alot has happened lately.
Infact, too much has happened.
I can't cope, and neither can the other people around me.

Physical, emotional and sexual abuse.
Its not nice, and its not pretty.

Ever since what happened this month.
I am now nothing, but an empty shell.
Full of disgust, guilt, I feel dirty unclean sick.

Everything was taken from me.
My innocence, my trust, my hope, my soul heart and virginity.

I still cannot believe it happened.
But now I just want to end it all.

OD, S/H, drinking, drugs.
I'll do anything to take all this pain, disgust and guilt away.
I don't want to burden, or worry anyone.

I just feel used, worthless.
Some of you maybe able to relate to whats happened to me.
Majority may not.

Just felt like letting something out.

xo.


Either I'm Braindead or Your Not Making Sense.

You Are My Illness, and I am Your Antidote.

[[Somebody.Save.Me.]]
  Send a message via MSN to DreamCatcher.x Send a message via Skype™ to DreamCatcher.x 
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
dancer Offline
love, anonymous
I've been here a while
********
 
dancer's Avatar
 
Age: 28
Gender: Female

Posts: 1,234
Join Date: March 25th 2009

Re: Why Me? - June 21st 2009, 04:29 AM

Hey there,

I'm sorry to hear about all that's been happening lately. I can kind of relate to seeing communities, or at least "networks" of people affected by abuse.

But hurting yourself isn't the way to soothe things that are already hurting.

Abuse of any kind is never your fault. Even when people aren't "perfect," faults or mistakes never merit abuse.

You are not worthless. You are always worth more than what was taken from you. You, just because you are alive and breathing, are priceless. Don't forget that.

Is there a counselor you could talk to about what's been going on? She/he might be able to help figure out how help you cope with everything, when coping otherwise seems impossible.

Hang in there. PM me anytime.


Drown in the music,
dance in the rain,
block out the thunder,
and let the scars fade.
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
ARootlessTree Offline
ಠ_ಠ
Regular TeenHelper
*****
 
ARootlessTree's Avatar
 
Name: Toz
Age: 26
Gender: Male
Location: Virginia

Posts: 462
Join Date: May 28th 2009

Re: Why Me? - June 26th 2009, 04:08 PM

It's okay You'll be all right, now. You need help. Find a therapist or a counselor to help you. My experience has been that you've just gotta keep on keeping on. Keep punching back. PM me if you need it, and I know for sure things'll sort themselves out.


_______________________________________________
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
DreamCatcher.x Offline
Live Fast, Die Young.
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
DreamCatcher.x's Avatar
 
Gender: Female
Location: UK

Posts: 18
Blog Entries: 9
Join Date: April 11th 2009

Re: Why Me? - June 28th 2009, 11:38 PM

Its destroyed me.
Court next week, police next week.
Im not me anymore.
Im quiet, i wont let people near me
I wont speak.
I od. s/h drink and drink etc etc
to try and numb off...


Either I'm Braindead or Your Not Making Sense.

You Are My Illness, and I am Your Antidote.

[[Somebody.Save.Me.]]
  Send a message via MSN to DreamCatcher.x Send a message via Skype™ to DreamCatcher.x 
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
Linz Offline
Life Is About Making Mistakes
Welcome me, I'm new!
*
 
Linz's Avatar
 
Name: Lindsay
Age: 28
Gender: Female
Location: Bridgeport, CT

Posts: 39
Blog Entries: 9
Join Date: May 17th 2009

Re: Why Me? - June 29th 2009, 01:48 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by DreamCatcher.x View Post
Its destroyed me.
Court next week, police next week.
Im not me anymore.
Im quiet, i wont let people near me
I wont speak.
I od. s/h drink and drink etc etc
to try and numb off...


I understand how you might be feeling right now, I was raped two years ago. I was already a self-harmer for over three years at the time, and that experience just fueled the fire. I couldn't think about anything else but to kill the pain and thoughts that consumed me and made me feel what you described, like worthless, and it took me a while to "become me" again as well.

All I can offer you is the guarntee that the pain will subside eventually if you let it. But in the meantime (and I know I sound as if i'm being a hypocrite, but i'm just trying to tell you what I've learned from this) abusing your body with drugs, alcohol, and SH won't make you feel any better about yourself. I know, maybe you're doing it because you feel unworthy or something because of after what happened to you, and dealing with a court case and the police doesn't make it any less stresful, i'll give you that.

But I know you're you is still in there, you just have to let her come out of hiding. It could take a while, but you will feel MUCH much more recovered and less unclean once you go through, like some others have said here, therapy. It will really help, and with time, you'll be facing the world with a more confident attitude than before.

  Send a message via AIM to Linz  
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
.:Bibliophile:. Offline
PM me anytime!

TeenHelp Veteran
*************
 
.:Bibliophile:.'s Avatar
 
Gender: Just me

Posts: 16,874
Blog Entries: 1770
Join Date: January 18th 2009

Re: Why Me? - June 29th 2009, 03:15 AM

Hey,

I am so very sorry that this has happened to you. And, you didn't deserve it. No matter what your attacker is the one who is at fault, not you.

Have you considered talking to someone about all of this? You said something about court and police so I am making an assumption that you pressed charges but are you talking to a therapist about what you are feeling on the inside?

A therapist can be really help in times like these because he/she might be able to explain some of the things that are going on. I mean, there are a lot of different things that come with rape and a therapist might be able to help you understand those things. Also, a therapist might be able to help you heal.

I wanted to let you know that with time you can get through this. I know it may seem impossible at the moment but it can happen.

Please try to stay strong and if you ever need someone to talk to feel free to pm me.


|Lead Moderator|Newsletter Officer|
   
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
Em... Offline
smile; it looks good on you.
Experienced TeenHelper
******
 
Em...'s Avatar
 
Name: E
Gender: Other

Posts: 634
Join Date: June 16th 2009

Re: Why Me? - June 29th 2009, 03:48 AM

Hiya,

I'm so sorry that this has happened to you. You didn't deserve it, and it is certainly NOT your fault. The person who did this to you is the one who should pay, not you.

Doing these things to your body will give you a temporary relief, but it's only temporary. I mean it's good to get those feelings that are bottled up inside of you out, but this isn't the way to do it.

You really should see a therapist about this. They can help you learn more about how you are feeling, and can help you stop destroying yourself. It will be better in the long run to, it will help you heal from this tragic incident.

It may not see like things are getting better, or they will get better in the future. but believe me they will. Time heals all wounds, and with a therapist it can help you recover even more.

Please stop hurting yourself. There is much more to life. Take care of yourself and PM me anytime if you want to talk. Talking can help you so much, just let it all out, but not on your body.
   
  (#8 (permalink)) Old
dancer Offline
love, anonymous
I've been here a while
********
 
dancer's Avatar
 
Age: 28
Gender: Female

Posts: 1,234
Join Date: March 25th 2009

Re: Why Me? - June 29th 2009, 04:57 AM

Hey,

*hugs gently*

I'm sorry that you have to go through this. I know that what's ahead probably seems pretty scary - but in the midst of times that hurt, you get to be someone who won't hurt you.

When you don't feel like yourself - just remind yourself who that is. What do you believe? How would you act? What would you think? What would you do? Don't forget your voice. You deserve to speak and to be listened to. Don't drown the voice that reminds you who you are in pain that blocks out that other pain or in something that numbs your identity along with the hurt that you're feeling. You deserve to find a way to feel that same security while being good to yourself, too. I've found that sometimes just sitting down a watching TV, focusing on the narrative of someone else's life for a moment instead of the echoes of my own life that replay themselves in my head can be a helpful distraction, or listening to music or reading can help as well. And if there's anyone who might be able to be a support for you through what's going on right now, someone who will be there for you, talking to them and asking them for a shoulder to lean on, to remind you that you're NOT going through this alone, might help. And please remember that we are always here for you, too.

Hang in there.


Drown in the music,
dance in the rain,
block out the thunder,
and let the scars fade.
   
Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




All material copyright 1998-2019, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.