TeenHelp
Support Forums Today's Posts

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives


You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!


Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
twiggy08 Offline
helper
Not a n00b
**
 
twiggy08's Avatar
 
Name: nat
Gender: Female
Location: barnsley,england

Posts: 50
Join Date: January 21st 2009

can't cope - June 30th 2009, 05:35 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

just writing to say i can't cope any longer with the flashbacks of being sexually assualted its hurting me too much.i know im hurting other people when i go but i can't cope no longer its too hard
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
dancer Offline
love, anonymous
I've been here a while
********
 
dancer's Avatar
 
Age: 28
Gender: Female

Posts: 1,234
Join Date: March 25th 2009

Re: can't cope - June 30th 2009, 05:38 PM

Hi Nat,

*hugs*

Dealing with sexual abuse is unfairly hard. But I promise, even when it feels impossible to do, you can get through it. And you don't have to do that alone. Do you have anyone like a counselor or doctor or a friend or family member you could try talking to?

Hang in there.


Drown in the music,
dance in the rain,
block out the thunder,
and let the scars fade.
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
i_am_me_again Offline
I'm A Pyschotic Neurotic.
I can't get enough
*********
 
i_am_me_again's Avatar
 
Name: Jaymi
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Location: England

Posts: 3,203
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: can't cope - June 30th 2009, 06:13 PM

Hi Nat

Sexual abuse is not your fault. You may have gone through it. But you didnt cause it. Please dont blame yourself. Whoever did this to you was completely out of order.
Flashbacks are hard to deal with as well....they are caused by mental distress, and obviously you have a lot of mental stress at the moment.
...why dont you get someone to talk to...a teacher, a counsellor, or a therapist
with help, you can get better.

If you give in now, the abuser has won, if you fight back, and get help you are showing the abuser that you are the winner.

If you are thinking of suicide, then can you go to a safe place? A relative...or even the hospital.

Take care of you. You are strong.

Jamie
xx


HelpLink Mentor & Forum Moderator

PM me!



Our lives are like music.
It hits its high and low notes,
But in the end,
It all turns into a perfect melody
  Send a message via MSN to i_am_me_again  
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
live.laugh.love
Regular TeenHelper
*****
 
xxJesus_Freakxx <3's Avatar
 
Name: cassieee.
Age: 27
Gender: Female
Location: somewhere over the rainbow.

Posts: 493
Blog Entries: 1
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: can't cope - June 30th 2009, 06:46 PM

hello there,

i know it must be really hard to cope with those flashbacks but it dosen't mean that you can't. i know that it can be hard and really painful to get through but it's possible. i think that you really need to talk to a therapist/counselor as they can give a lot more helpful advice than i can. they can give you good ways to cope with this. just remember that it's NOT YOUR FAULT. you didn't ask for this! it'll be okay! (:

PM me if you want to talk!


when life is in discord; praise ye the Lord

keep your faith alive.
we're not alone <3
   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
twiggy08 Offline
helper
Not a n00b
**
 
twiggy08's Avatar
 
Name: nat
Gender: Female
Location: barnsley,england

Posts: 50
Join Date: January 21st 2009

Re: can't cope - June 30th 2009, 07:57 PM

ive tried going to a counselor but i can't speak to someone about it i can speak to ppl online but not face to face about it because i werent believed and then the guuy went on to do it to someone else,i didnt report it to the police so its my fault
   
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
live.laugh.love
Regular TeenHelper
*****
 
xxJesus_Freakxx <3's Avatar
 
Name: cassieee.
Age: 27
Gender: Female
Location: somewhere over the rainbow.

Posts: 493
Blog Entries: 1
Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: can't cope - June 30th 2009, 08:22 PM

it's not your fault, his actions aren't your fault.
just because you didn't go to the police doesn't mean what he did to you was your fault.

i know it's hard to speak to people face to face but i think you really should. step out of your comfort zone, you might not think that you'll be believed, but you would be superise. it's better than killing yourself; trust me.


when life is in discord; praise ye the Lord

keep your faith alive.
we're not alone <3
   
  (#7 (permalink)) Old
ARootlessTree Offline
ಠ_ಠ
Regular TeenHelper
*****
 
ARootlessTree's Avatar
 
Name: Toz
Age: 26
Gender: Male
Location: Virginia

Posts: 462
Join Date: May 28th 2009

Re: can't cope - June 30th 2009, 08:25 PM

hey Nat
I know how you feel, I got those a lot, too Like everything else, they'll pass in time. If you have a therapist, talk to them about it, that'll help LOADS

take care and feel free to PM me


_______________________________________________
   
  (#8 (permalink)) Old
dancer Offline
love, anonymous
I've been here a while
********
 
dancer's Avatar
 
Age: 28
Gender: Female

Posts: 1,234
Join Date: March 25th 2009

Re: can't cope - July 1st 2009, 04:17 AM

Hey Nat,

honey, it's definitely not your fault. His actions are his actions, and you're not responsible for them. You're responsible for making sure that you can get better.

I understand how hard it can be, talking to people face-to-face. I used to not even be able to start of a sentence involving the words "I" or "me" without going into tears and having my vocal chords basically shut down. But like most things, with time, you get to be more comfortable, and it gets easier and less scary. You can start off slowly - you don't have to worry about being asked to ramble on or anything. And sometimes, writing down what you would have said and having the person read that can be helpful, or writing down a list of what's on your mind, so that the other person can bring up the topics, rather than you having to worry about doing that.

Please hang in there. You are definitely cared about. Feel free to PM me anytime.


Drown in the music,
dance in the rain,
block out the thunder,
and let the scars fade.
   
  (#9 (permalink)) Old
.:Bibliophile:. Offline
PM me anytime!

TeenHelp Veteran
*************
 
.:Bibliophile:.'s Avatar
 
Gender: Just me

Posts: 16,826
Blog Entries: 1770
Join Date: January 18th 2009

Re: can't cope - July 2nd 2009, 02:07 AM

Hey there,

It is not your fault. You are not to blame for someone else's problem's or mistakes; that is not how that world works. It is very hard to speak about sexual assault and many people do not go to the police and that does not mean it is their fault. Please do not blame yourself.

The flashbacks are very hard to deal with but they do get better with time.

I really wish you would consider going back and talking to someone. I know it is hard but it can be really helpful and they are usually really understanding and won't push you into to talking about it if it is too painful. They will probably let you start out slow, start to build trust, and go from there. Please consider it?

Please don't hurt yourself because things can get better for you. Just give it time.

Hang in there and if you need someone to talk to feel free to pm me.


|Lead Moderator|Newsletter Officer|
   
  (#10 (permalink)) Old
twiggy08 Offline
helper
Not a n00b
**
 
twiggy08's Avatar
 
Name: nat
Gender: Female
Location: barnsley,england

Posts: 50
Join Date: January 21st 2009

Re: can't cope - July 2nd 2009, 04:51 PM

still feel suicidial and ive resorted punching the wall and crying myself to sleep
   
  (#11 (permalink)) Old
Lil-x Offline
save me from my dark.
Average Joe
***
 
Lil-x's Avatar
 
Gender: Female
Location: Shropshire

Posts: 150
Join Date: June 25th 2009

Re: can't cope - July 2nd 2009, 05:50 PM

I'm so sorry for what you're going through. I am going through flashbacks of sexual abuse and it occurs in my nightmares, time after time...I felt so suicidal last night, it was only my friends talking me out of more, much dangerous cutting that stopped me.

I hate the thought that i'm hurting other people too. You should maybe consider this, if you committed suicide, think how much you would be missed and hurt the people who love you. People care for you Nat. Remember that, don't do anything you regret. You can have a happy, fullfiling life, don't let what they did to you ever stop that. They aren't worth your pain!

Pm me anytime! I know how your feeling. Hang in there hun. We'll always be here for you.

xx
   
  (#12 (permalink)) Old
twiggy08 Offline
helper
Not a n00b
**
 
twiggy08's Avatar
 
Name: nat
Gender: Female
Location: barnsley,england

Posts: 50
Join Date: January 21st 2009

Re: can't cope - July 2nd 2009, 06:28 PM

i still feel complete rubbish,its hurting i cant stop crying.hes ruined my life and so did his sister
   
  (#13 (permalink)) Old
Lil-x Offline
save me from my dark.
Average Joe
***
 
Lil-x's Avatar
 
Gender: Female
Location: Shropshire

Posts: 150
Join Date: June 25th 2009

Re: can't cope - July 2nd 2009, 08:31 PM

It might feel like he's ruined your life. Those 5 men have ruined mine, & we may have been shoved down into the dark to suffer, and cry, and cut. But we can still claw our way back up eventually, right? xx
   
  (#14 (permalink)) Old
twiggy08 Offline
helper
Not a n00b
**
 
twiggy08's Avatar
 
Name: nat
Gender: Female
Location: barnsley,england

Posts: 50
Join Date: January 21st 2009

Re: can't cope - July 2nd 2009, 08:38 PM

nope too hard hurting too much
   
  (#15 (permalink)) Old
dancer Offline
love, anonymous
I've been here a while
********
 
dancer's Avatar
 
Age: 28
Gender: Female

Posts: 1,234
Join Date: March 25th 2009

Re: can't cope - July 3rd 2009, 05:55 AM

Hey Nat,

sorry about the late reply - I hope you're okay, hun. I'm so sorry that things feel so messed up right now - but even when things like life get horridly tangled, you can still smooth out all the knots and kinks and get it going properly again. You get to be a victor, not a victim. I know that sometimes things can feel impossibly hard and hurting to get through, but keep telling yourself to go one moment more... and then one more... and keep going. Then you'll find that you've gotten through.

Hang in there. Feel free to PM me anytime. I'll be thinkin' of ya.


Drown in the music,
dance in the rain,
block out the thunder,
and let the scars fade.
   
  (#16 (permalink)) Old
twiggy08 Offline
helper
Not a n00b
**
 
twiggy08's Avatar
 
Name: nat
Gender: Female
Location: barnsley,england

Posts: 50
Join Date: January 21st 2009

Re: can't cope - July 3rd 2009, 08:07 PM

well im still here,NOT that i want to be.i have a plan
   
  (#17 (permalink)) Old
dancer Offline
love, anonymous
I've been here a while
********
 
dancer's Avatar
 
Age: 28
Gender: Female

Posts: 1,234
Join Date: March 25th 2009

Re: can't cope - July 4th 2009, 04:47 AM

Nat,

*hugs closely*

I'm glad that you're still here. Please don't do anything to hurt yourself - I promise, there are other ways to resolve this. If things really feel end-of-the-line, please get to a hospital or call 911 or a helpline or something - they're really good at finding other solutions to getting out of things besides suicide in those instances.

Please hang in there. I'll be thinking about you. Feel free to PM me anytime.


Drown in the music,
dance in the rain,
block out the thunder,
and let the scars fade.
   
  (#18 (permalink)) Old
twiggy08 Offline
helper
Not a n00b
**
 
twiggy08's Avatar
 
Name: nat
Gender: Female
Location: barnsley,england

Posts: 50
Join Date: January 21st 2009

Re: can't cope - July 4th 2009, 05:59 PM

i've resorted to keeping myself busy i don't know if the amount of work im doing is safe for the age and gender of me is bt il be fine
   
  (#19 (permalink)) Old
dancer Offline
love, anonymous
I've been here a while
********
 
dancer's Avatar
 
Age: 28
Gender: Female

Posts: 1,234
Join Date: March 25th 2009

Re: can't cope - July 4th 2009, 06:01 PM

Keeping busy can be a good thing. But just make sure that you are still taking care of yourself in doing that.

Hang in there


Drown in the music,
dance in the rain,
block out the thunder,
and let the scars fade.
   
  (#20 (permalink)) Old
twiggy08 Offline
helper
Not a n00b
**
 
twiggy08's Avatar
 
Name: nat
Gender: Female
Location: barnsley,england

Posts: 50
Join Date: January 21st 2009

Re: can't cope - July 6th 2009, 09:18 PM

its still very hard,i still have a plan the date im planning on doing it is 18th of this month if i cant do it then it might lead to it being after my gcse results
   
  (#21 (permalink)) Old
DomoKay Offline
Fire behind her eyes
Junior TeenHelper
****
 
DomoKay's Avatar
 
Name: Kelsey
Age: 25
Gender: Female
Location: USA

Posts: 276
Blog Entries: 16
Join Date: May 18th 2009

Re: can't cope - July 6th 2009, 09:31 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by twiggy08 View Post
its still very hard,i still have a plan the date im planning on doing it is 18th of this month if i cant do it then it might lead to it being after my gcse results
I know it's super hard sometimes, but please don't do that, hun.. You really need to talk to someone. Do you have any relatives or any adult that you trust?

I care about you, and I'm sure others just on this site care about you.. I wish you best of luck getting help. And you can always talk to me whenever. I hope you feel better..




we've escaped our capture


Laugh loudly, sing like no one's listening, dance like no one's watching, stay in the moment, get that adrenaline pumpin', deep breaths, be easy on yourself <3 PM me
   
  (#22 (permalink)) Old
twiggy08 Offline
helper
Not a n00b
**
 
twiggy08's Avatar
 
Name: nat
Gender: Female
Location: barnsley,england

Posts: 50
Join Date: January 21st 2009

Re: can't cope - July 6th 2009, 09:58 PM

no i cant speak to family about it and ive put my friends through enough i dont want to put suicide pressure of trying to keep me alive on them
   
  (#23 (permalink)) Old
dancer Offline
love, anonymous
I've been here a while
********
 
dancer's Avatar
 
Age: 28
Gender: Female

Posts: 1,234
Join Date: March 25th 2009

Re: can't cope - July 7th 2009, 02:51 AM

Nat,

you don't need to do anything. And you're important enough that you family and friends should be there for you when you need help. Or have you tried talking to a counselor at all?

Please take care of yourself, hun. Feel free to PM me anytime.


Drown in the music,
dance in the rain,
block out the thunder,
and let the scars fade.
   
  (#24 (permalink)) Old
twiggy08 Offline
helper
Not a n00b
**
 
twiggy08's Avatar
 
Name: nat
Gender: Female
Location: barnsley,england

Posts: 50
Join Date: January 21st 2009

Re: can't cope - July 7th 2009, 02:34 PM

dont have a couselor no more i got discharged and i cant go back to same one coz im too old now
   
  (#25 (permalink)) Old
DomoKay Offline
Fire behind her eyes
Junior TeenHelper
****
 
DomoKay's Avatar
 
Name: Kelsey
Age: 25
Gender: Female
Location: USA

Posts: 276
Blog Entries: 16
Join Date: May 18th 2009

Re: can't cope - July 7th 2009, 02:47 PM

Well, I'm sure there are plenty more counselors that you could go to.. You don't have to go to the same one. You really need to talk to someone, dear..




we've escaped our capture


Laugh loudly, sing like no one's listening, dance like no one's watching, stay in the moment, get that adrenaline pumpin', deep breaths, be easy on yourself <3 PM me
   
  (#26 (permalink)) Old
twiggy08 Offline
helper
Not a n00b
**
 
twiggy08's Avatar
 
Name: nat
Gender: Female
Location: barnsley,england

Posts: 50
Join Date: January 21st 2009

Re: can't cope - July 7th 2009, 02:56 PM

and i dont want to speak to people about it coz they will put me in a psych ward or something
   
  (#27 (permalink)) Old
DomoKay Offline
Fire behind her eyes
Junior TeenHelper
****
 
DomoKay's Avatar
 
Name: Kelsey
Age: 25
Gender: Female
Location: USA

Posts: 276
Blog Entries: 16
Join Date: May 18th 2009

Re: can't cope - July 7th 2009, 03:01 PM

Like I've said before, they usually don't tend to just send people away.. They try to talk it out with you. And even if, for some reason, you were sent to a hospital or psych ward, that wouldn't be such a bad thing.. They are there to help you, and I've heard they really aren't as bad as people say they are.




we've escaped our capture


Laugh loudly, sing like no one's listening, dance like no one's watching, stay in the moment, get that adrenaline pumpin', deep breaths, be easy on yourself <3 PM me
   
  (#28 (permalink)) Old
twiggy08 Offline
helper
Not a n00b
**
 
twiggy08's Avatar
 
Name: nat
Gender: Female
Location: barnsley,england

Posts: 50
Join Date: January 21st 2009

Re: can't cope - July 9th 2009, 03:02 PM

i'l be disowned if i go in a psych ward,im not going back to a counselor
   
  (#29 (permalink)) Old
dancer Offline
love, anonymous
I've been here a while
********
 
dancer's Avatar
 
Age: 28
Gender: Female

Posts: 1,234
Join Date: March 25th 2009

Re: can't cope - July 10th 2009, 04:40 AM

If your parents are that unthoughtfully reactive, then someone like a counselor or at a hospital would be able to help you find a situation that's way happier for you. And I've found that people like parents or other family members often don't react as horridly as we'd thought.


Drown in the music,
dance in the rain,
block out the thunder,
and let the scars fade.
   
  (#30 (permalink)) Old
twiggy08 Offline
helper
Not a n00b
**
 
twiggy08's Avatar
 
Name: nat
Gender: Female
Location: barnsley,england

Posts: 50
Join Date: January 21st 2009

Re: can't cope - July 14th 2009, 02:57 PM

trust me my parents arent the caring type they just think shouting is the only thing,or telling me im attention seeker.well im not going to commit suicide anytime soon as im busy with work and my voluntary work aswell, i also have a boyfriend who i can't leave coz i love him too much and also my dog and budgie as my dog is now not leaving me alone at all which some of you may think is strange but if you don't know dogs can sense things humans can't.
   
  (#31 (permalink)) Old
DomoKay Offline
Fire behind her eyes
Junior TeenHelper
****
 
DomoKay's Avatar
 
Name: Kelsey
Age: 25
Gender: Female
Location: USA

Posts: 276
Blog Entries: 16
Join Date: May 18th 2009

Re: can't cope - July 14th 2009, 04:36 PM

I'm so glad to hear that you aren't going to make any plans soon. I really hope in the future you won't have any thoughts at all about this. It's good that you have people that you care about enough to stay here. Always remember them when you have those bad thoughts. Take care




we've escaped our capture


Laugh loudly, sing like no one's listening, dance like no one's watching, stay in the moment, get that adrenaline pumpin', deep breaths, be easy on yourself <3 PM me
   
  (#32 (permalink)) Old
AshtrayHeart Offline
Human Wreckage
Experienced TeenHelper
******
 
AshtrayHeart's Avatar
 
Name: Jess.
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Location: Suffolk, England.

Posts: 591
Blog Entries: 5
Join Date: July 11th 2009

Re: can't cope - July 14th 2009, 05:25 PM

Hey there. If you ever need to talk about anything feel free to PM me, I'm happy to help. I'm glad your not going to do anything, and keep yourself busy with your work and such.


'Cause there's no pride to be found when you follow sheep around..

<3 15/3/09 <3
11 months, I love you.
  Send a message via MSN to AshtrayHeart  
  (#33 (permalink)) Old
dancer Offline
love, anonymous
I've been here a while
********
 
dancer's Avatar
 
Age: 28
Gender: Female

Posts: 1,234
Join Date: March 25th 2009

Re: can't cope - July 15th 2009, 04:14 AM

I'm sorry that your parents are that way. That really sucks. Feel free to ask for as many hugs (or as much of a hug as you can give through a computer ) as you want any time. 'Cause you deserve to know that you're cared about.

I'm really glad, too, that you don't have any plans. Keep remembering all the stuff that you have to hang in there for - and you're a really important part of your life to hang in there for, too.

I completely get what you mean about your dog. My dog is the same way.

Feel free to PM me anytime! I'll be wishing you smiles


Drown in the music,
dance in the rain,
block out the thunder,
and let the scars fade.
   
  (#34 (permalink)) Old
twiggy08 Offline
helper
Not a n00b
**
 
twiggy08's Avatar
 
Name: nat
Gender: Female
Location: barnsley,england

Posts: 50
Join Date: January 21st 2009

Re: can't cope - July 17th 2009, 07:36 PM

just so you all know il be busy for the next week and probably wont be on too much,just so you all know i haven't commit suicide
   
  (#35 (permalink)) Old
sheltering.sea Offline
Member
Not a n00b
**
 
sheltering.sea's Avatar
 
Name: Onigumo
Gender: ..
Location: ..

Posts: 68
Join Date: February 18th 2009

Re: can't cope - July 17th 2009, 09:46 PM

I was molested in 3rd grade. I was molested three times. I understand how it feels to feel shame and to feel as if it will never get better to feel like no one understands. It's ok. I get those horrible flashbacks when I'm around my boyfriend when he leans over to kiss me I get those flashbacks of being taken advantage of. *hug* It's ok. I understand it's hard to forget. Hang in there. I'm glad to hear that you haven't hurt yourself.



   
Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Tags
cope

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




All material copyright 1998-2019, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.