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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Saria Offline
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Thumbs down Giving Up - July 6th 2009, 08:54 PM

I can't cope, It is too hard. Flashbacks from the sexual abuse and my childhood are tearing me apart and there is no use for me to stay alive. No one cares or understands or even wants to listen so why should I keep trying I just want to give up. I am crying so hard I can barely breathe and I want to cut so badly.
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Giving Up - July 6th 2009, 09:04 PM

Hi Saria

Im sorry to hear what you are going through. Flashbacks are difficult to deal with, I used to get them. Although they are very difficult, you have to remain calm. There is a way you can beat your flashbacks...therapy? It worked for me.

I understand that your sexual abuse was very disturbing and I understand that its tearing you apart. BUT dont let it ruin your life. The abuse wasn your fault. So you shouldnt want to die, for something you can get help with.

I care, I understand & I want to listen. Im sure many more people than you think will want to care, understand and listen.

Dont give up, if you give up, then your abuser has won against you. You turn around and staying alive and getting better, well lets just say 2 fingers up to your abusers.

Crying is good, but please...make sure you try and breather properly, you dont want to get short of breathe. I know you may feel all these unhappy thoughts, but dont give up. Its not your fault. You are strong.

Try not to cut, I know thats difficult. Cant you do some writing instead? Like a diary of how you feel, or any other coping mechanism that dont involve hurting yourself.

Please...things will turn out good in the end. Just see someone about those flashbacks, because you can get help for them

Keep your chin up and stay brave

Jamie
xx


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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Saria Offline
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Re: Giving Up - July 6th 2009, 09:08 PM

It's too hard, I don't want to try anymore though. It takes too much effort.
   
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Re: Giving Up - July 6th 2009, 09:12 PM

Saria

I know its hard, if it wasnt we wouldnt be in this horrid mess. You have to keep trying, I believe you can, but ultimatly you have to want to. It will take effort, but once your flashbacks go with the help of therapy, life will be better to deal with. Honestly.




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  (#5 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Giving Up - July 6th 2009, 09:19 PM

But even if I get through the falshbacks, the rest of me life is still falling apart so I don't see why I should bother??
   
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i_am_me_again Offline
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Re: Giving Up - July 6th 2009, 09:23 PM

You can fix your life. You have lots to bother about. I dont know you, but if you want to elaborate on your why th rest of your life is falling apart - Im here to help.


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Our lives are like music.
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  (#7 (permalink)) Old
Saria Offline
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Re: Giving Up - July 6th 2009, 09:30 PM

Well my Mum suffers from major depression and is suicidal too so she can't take care of our family, so I have to take care and be responsible for everything. My Dad also has a heart condition and suffers from heart attacks so he can't help out. I also have two younger siblings and my little brother is only two years old so I always have to be taking care of him so I don't have any friends or anytime to myself ever. I also had a very bad childhood with my parents constantly fighting and not caring about us kids at all and leaving us alone all the time.
   
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Re: Giving Up - July 7th 2009, 02:03 AM

Hey Saria,

*hugs*

I'm so sorry that you've had to go through so much, hun. You shouldn't have to handle this all on your own. Have you tried talking to a counselor, particularly a family counselor? He/she would be able to help you deal with how your feeling and help make sure that everyone in your family finally gets taken care of and even to the point where they're able to take care of themselves, too.

And you deserve to take a break, and take time for yourself, even if it's just a designated fifteen minutes a day where you're doing something good for you.

Hang in there.


Drown in the music,
dance in the rain,
block out the thunder,
and let the scars fade.
   
  (#9 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Giving Up - July 7th 2009, 04:48 AM

No one in my family cares about me anymore, and doesn't think that we need help. They won't even consider ever leaving me alone. Its too much to handle. I just want to give up but no one will just let me go
   
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Re: Giving Up - July 7th 2009, 05:08 AM

Saria,

*hugs*

sounds a lot like my family. They wouldn't ever get something done about themselves, either. But that doesn't mean that you don't get to do something for you, like getting a counselor to help make things handle-able.

No giving up allowed. You're important, Saria. Not because of the ridiculous amount of stuff you do for other people, but because, you, Saria, all by yourself, matter. Of course we're not going to let you go.

Hang in there.


Drown in the music,
dance in the rain,
block out the thunder,
and let the scars fade.
   
  (#11 (permalink)) Old
Saria Offline
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Re: Giving Up - July 7th 2009, 05:13 AM

I have been trying so hard though to try handle this but it just seems as though things aren't supposed to be right and I am meant to be like this. It just hurts so much to keep hanging on and I have had enough. Giving up is the only option left. Nothing else will make the constant pain go away.
   
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Re: Giving Up - July 7th 2009, 05:21 AM

Saria, honey, I'm sorry that things feel so end-of-the-line. I thought that I'd tried everything with my family, too, and that giving up was my only option.

Turned out it wasn't.

For one thing, waiting things out is always another. More options tend to pop up while you're taking that one, too. Going to a counselor is an option. Calling a helpline (like 1-800-442-HOPE) is an option. Talking to us is an option. Just taking a nap or something for the moment is an option.

Do you have any other relatives, like aunts or uncles or cousins or anything, whom you could talk to, or ask for help from?


Drown in the music,
dance in the rain,
block out the thunder,
and let the scars fade.
   
  (#13 (permalink)) Old
Saria Offline
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Re: Giving Up - July 7th 2009, 05:24 AM

I have no one. No one cares or understands or even wants to listen. No one I know in person anyway.
   
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Re: Giving Up - July 7th 2009, 05:33 AM

*hugs*

Well then we'll just have to find you some people, hun

Is there any sort of youth group leader or similar person you could try talking to? And counselors definitely want to listen. Any neighbors you could try talking to? Even if you don't know someone particularly well, they'll typically be open to listening and will want to help you out.


Drown in the music,
dance in the rain,
block out the thunder,
and let the scars fade.
   
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