''Laura, why are you so depressed?'' (A little explanation which i'll complete soon) - Page 2

.KillCasino.

no...i can't do this anymore...

TheNumber42

Yes you can! I know that you can.

.KillCasino.

im sorry.. :[

TheNumber42

What's there to be sorry for?

.KillCasino.

everything...love you all :]

TheNumber42

I love you too, but that had better not be goodbye...

Just don't give up, ok? Don't waste your life.

.KillCasino.

oh, dont worry..i havent wasted my life.

TheNumber42

You haven't? Why do you say that?

.KillCasino.

i need to go, i dont feel so good...

TheNumber42

Well, I love you. I hope you come through this ok. Please call an ambulance. You won't regret it later, you want to live, to be happy.

.KillCasino.

my mind feels overcrowded right now, too much is processing in there, though i cant make any sense of it all. i think todays been okay, though its hard to comprehend...i feel alone today, and it feels good. the voices havent been with me, i need to clear my mind tho...its overloading..

Claire

Hi Laura. If you've had a good day and the voices haven't been with you, then its only your head and your thoughts that are the problem really. Can you go for a walk alone, just think about things and clear your head? You need to get away from this depression and the bad things. You haven't had the voices, so from my point of view thats a very good day compared to what you've been through, but you only describe it as ok. Don't let this take over you, make the most of this good day you've had and use it to work on a better, more positive you. We are all behind you but we can't do it for you hun x x x x x

.KillCasino.

i never asked you to do it for me, im asking for support, like most other people here. and yeah today was an ok day, i try to clear my mind but i cant and prob the only reason i havent heard voices is coz ive been forced to take like a million pills today. i still feel like i need to SH though... :[

Claire

No, I didn't mean you were asking us to do it for you. Laura, I'm trying to help you theres no need to bite my head off. I'm just saying that You need to take control of your life and lead it in the direction you want to go in. I know its hard and a lot of other people on here are struggling with the same thing. But we are ALL behind you and we know you can do it. I know its horrible having to take a million pills a day, I do too, but they work and they are there to help. If they make you better, thats a good thing. If you ever want a chat you can talk to me, I think you're really brave x x

.KillCasino.

You know, sometimes I wish that I could start over. How the hell did I ever get into this mess? I need an explanation, but only I hold the answer to that question. Over the years I've tried so hard to get myself out of this state, but I've also ungone many attempts on my life also. Sometimes I just find it so hard, I find it hard to find that peaceful place I know exists. I know it exists somewhere out there, I just need to find it. I'm happier than last night right now, but still things don't seem okay. Everything seems distant, I don't feel here, its a strange feeling. Okay, so its half past four, everyone's gone out meaning I'm sat here alone. I keep laughing for some strange reason, I don't even know why anymore, maybe I'm mad, maybe...
I was thinking...I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. I have so much going on in my mind, yet I don't trust myself to take a walk alone. I feel so emotional, I could break down at any moment, I want to scream, I want to shout, I want to tear into my arm with something...anything...I want to be free, free from this pain that suffocates me. Today didn't help much to be honest, they told me everything I already knew =/ Still, *sigh*
I know you're all probably sick of me, moaning on and on, but this is the only place I have left and if I didn't have this place, then...who knows...I'm sorry for moaning about how crap my life is, okay? I just...I need to get it out somewhere, like the rest of you do...
I feel happy, yet I feel empty. I feel cold inside. I feel dead inside.

I think I'm gonna write my parents a note and go walk to the streets for a while

.KillCasino.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Claire

No, I didn't mean you were asking us to do it for you. Laura, I'm trying to help you theres no need to bite my head off. I'm just saying that You need to take control of your life and lead it in the direction you want to go in. I know its hard and a lot of other people on here are struggling with the same thing. But we are ALL behind you and we know you can do it. I know its horrible having to take a million pills a day, I do too, but they work and they are there to help. If they make you better, thats a good thing. If you ever want a chat you can talk to me, I think you're really brave x x

Yeah, I know you're trying to help, sorry...I didn't mean to, it was pretty uncalled for...*sigh*...I know I need to take control but its pretty hard given the circumstances. Anyway, umm, I don't have much to say right now to be honest. Back later maybe x

TibbySkye

Why do you push people away when they try to help you?
You'll never get better doing that. You need to talk to a counselor or some kind of professional. Every thread you post, you push people away and those people are really caring and actually want to help.
I'm not trying to be "harsh" I'm just saying what I've noticed. Appreciate the help they're tying to give you and instead of saying "I can't.." try "I can" and try to get help. Listen to what they're saying.

.KillCasino.

im not pushing people away, and if it seems like it then im sorry...i am listening, i am...i just dont have much hope. i think i may just give up...i think you're just all getting sick of me and now you've all turned against me ive got nothing left...

Claire

Quote:

Originally Posted by .KillCasino.

im not pushing people away, and if it seems like it then im sorry...i am listening, i am...i just dont have much hope. i think i may just give up...i think you're just all getting sick of me and now you've all turned against me ive got nothing left...

No one has turned against you, thats the point! Read back through your posts, people spend a lot of time telling you how special you are and how we are all behind you, but you assume we are turning against you! You have all the support you want right here, you just need to see that and then use us as backing for you to move your life forward. Don't be offended by people's comments, if they didn't like you and want to see you get better they wouldn't bother replying to your posts would they? Please take care, I'm worried about you x x

.KillCasino.

well i am offended, well, more hurt. i know someone else on here who struggles to let people in, no one leaves these comments with them..i feel like some of you hate me, i really do. i feel like theres no longer a point in living, coz you make me feel like im hated. i know some of you care, like cody, whos been here no matter what...other people just knock me when im down, i actually am beginning to wonder what the point is

TheNumber42

Hey Laura. I'm glad you're feeling a bit better than last night.

I just wanted to say that I think everyone here really does care about you. People just show that in different ways. Some people are really supportive, some offer constructive criticism, some share their stories. There are so many ways to show that you care. I think alot of the people that you feel hate you are just trying to point out some of your flaws, as they see them. They aren't trying to be mean or hurt you, they are just trying to help you see where you may be going wrong so you can correct yourself. The same way a teacher might show you what answers you got wrong on a homework assignment so that you could know what mistakes not to make next time.

I understand that these comments can come across as harsh and hurtful, especially when you are already really depressed, but try to look at them in a positive light. Take what they say and use it to make yourself better. Obviously alot of the time it is hard to do that because you don't want to admit you have flaws, or oftentimes you really can't see them. That is normal human nature, nothing against you specifically. Just do your best to listen and hear what everyone has to say, that's all I ask, ok? Everyone here really does care and we all want you to get better.

I'm always here for you, just stay strong and keep fighting.

.KillCasino.

Forget it, lets just say i'd be better off dead and i dont know why im still breathing.

Claire

I'm really sorry if I upset you, you know I've always tried to help. Before TH went down, i spoke to you a lot. I kept telling you that I wasn't going to go anywhere until you let me help and you talked to me and I tried for days, but you didnt want to know so I left you alone. I just tried again earlier but you got offended, so i won't try again, but I wanted to say sorry for upsetting you. I'm here for you and I always have been, so PM me anytime. I really hope you do x x x

.KillCasino.

delete this thread someone, seriously. Afterall, i'm just an ignorant fricking idiot who doesn't listen to anyone, and therefore this thread isn't needed!

Perplexity · 06:28 PM

I'm closing this thread because the OP has requested that this thread be not open any more, and that the OP has made a more recent thread in this forum located here, so please refer to that thread.