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confusedpuddle Offline
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Exclamation utterly bloody - July 27th 2009, 08:17 PM

right. i haven't a clue if im actually using this right but i feel like putting everything into context. i can't really get my head around it at the moment i just feel utterly crap and useless and helpless and so so tired, no matter how much rest i get, everytime i try to deal with any of the recent situations i just feel like falling asleep! the smallest thing makes me angry, or upset or whatever i just feel like hell, but i can put on a just about normal face with anyone else eg. your 'average stroppy teenager' but seriously, i swear im depressed and i wish i could just be diagnosed, i hate things not being clear and labelled. i really dont know what to do, i really need some advice. my mind won't stay still. two days ago the post came through the door and i went to go get it for my mum and i saw a letter that said urgent but it didn't alarm me really. then later on that day i was looking for a birthday card to give to my friend (my mum always keeps some spares in the draw and it was his party that evening) when i saw the letter again. for some inexplicable reason i decided to take a quick look at it. really wasn't expecting the word chemotherapy to jump out from the page. shoved it back in the draw and spent the first hour of the party trying not to burst into tears. so yesterday i read a bit more of it, did some research. i think my dad has cancer. i told a friend, but it hasn't sunk in yet. like im waiting for a massive massive slap that finally makes me realise my dad has cancer. well, it says indication: mantle cell lymphoma. that means he has it right? too tired to write anything else. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO should i confront him? i can't even cry.
   
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Re: utterly bloody - July 27th 2009, 08:31 PM

hey there
It's okay. You have a right to be confused, or bewildered, especially when something of this magnitude could be going on. All you can do for now, is to show that you care for him, and that you're on her side. Additionally, try and be strong for him. The cancer won't hurt him nearly as much as seeing you distressed is going to hurt him.

take care


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