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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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School + depression...please help - October 2nd 2009, 06:52 PM

OK..so this could go in schools and careers I guess...But feel free to move.

So these first few weeks at school have been really horrible, and things have really plummeted depression wise. I've really struggled and have been not doing so well in lessons. I go to a highly academic school and got very good results, so the pressure is on to do well in my A2s, which makes my depression yards and yards worse. Take all the stress away, I would still feel rubbish all the time, but still the stress doesn't help.
Anyway, so yesterday I went to see a teacher about an essay, and she basically said she's really worried about me and is going to give me a really bad report, so that my teacher's/parents know what a bad way I'm in. That means it will get to my housemistress and my parents will freak. She's just doing it coz she cares, I know. But still, I just...The thing is, I do kind of want everyone at school to know - meaning my 7 teachers- but I just don't know how and who to tell. They think its just work stress, but its so much more...My friends, who I've told most stuff to (not about SH...nobody knows about that) say I should tell either this teacher or my other favourite teacher. But they're not in positions of pastoral care to me, and I should be going to see other people - people who are deliberately there for pastoral care etc. I don't know what to do...
Also, I'v stopped eating and sleeping well...I haven't eaten lunch in goodness knows how long, because I'm either busy or feel queasy because that's what happens when I'm stressed/depressed/anxious. That's making things worse, as its making my physical illness (coldy type thing_ much worse also.
Meanwhile she's right. I still do well, but I can feel my grades slipping, and if this keeps up I might not do well, and I really don't want that...
Sorry this is long and rambling...please help
   
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Re: School + depression...please help - October 2nd 2009, 07:56 PM

Hey Frankie, I'm sorry to hear that you're stuggling so much right now. I know your teacher is only giving you a bad report because she cares. I agree with your friends that you should either tell this teacher or your other favorite teacher what's going on. They aren't in a position to help you, but they can probably guide you to someone who is. Maybe you could make a deal with her that if you go to someone who can help that she won't give you the bad report? Also, explain to her that while you understand why she's giving you the bad report, you really don't want everyone to know what's going on.
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: School + depression...please help - October 3rd 2009, 11:41 AM

hey, sorry to hear you're having a hard time.
i'd suggest going to talk to one of your favourite teachers. whether they're in a position of being responsible for your pastoral care or not, they will still care about you. teachers first priority is the students welfare. i think it's better to approach them than to approach a school counsellor or someone similar who you may not trust or even know. even if the teacher you approach refers you on to a school counsellor at least you will have touched base with them and outlined the siutation. i know with my friend the teacher she approached actually went with her to see the counsellor the first time to make it easier for her. it could be as simple as this teacher just sending an email outlining what they've told you and referring you on to the school counsellor who should be better able to help you.
i think letting your teachers know that you're struggling might be a good idea. it probably sounds like a pretty terrifying idea.. but if they don't know what's wrong a) they can't try and help you and b) they aren't going to give you any sort of special dispensation for late work and/or work that's not to the standard they might expect from you.
try not to feel too down about it.. you've got a good reason as to why you're struggling, it's not like you're just dossing around.
have you thought about talking to one of your friends about whats going on?. it might be helpful [if you have a friend who you can open up to] to ask them to help you talk to one of your favourite teachers.
good luck with everything. i hope it all works out. :]


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  (#4 (permalink)) Old
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Re: School + depression...please help - October 3rd 2009, 10:56 PM

Thanks guys
I decided that telling a teacher was the best move, but I just couldn't do it to their face, so I decided to email the teacher who was going to give me a bad report. It was really really long, and went through everything from when my depression started etc. I hope she doesn't find it too weird...and she won't be like freaked out or anything. I didn't put about SH (i couldn't do it) but I did kind of hint. Its weird because whilst I don't want anyone to ever know, I also do...Is that weird?? Well...I need help I guess.
I have talked to a few select friends, who've been their since the beginning, and they prompted me to talk. I'm very lucky I have them...How do you think my teacher will react?? I kind of really don't know what to expect...:S
   
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Re: School + depression...please help - October 3rd 2009, 11:07 PM

Quote:
Originally Posted by innocentlyangelic View Post
Thanks guys
I decided that telling a teacher was the best move, but I just couldn't do it to their face, so I decided to email the teacher who was going to give me a bad report. It was really really long, and went through everything from when my depression started etc. I hope she doesn't find it too weird...and she won't be like freaked out or anything. I didn't put about SH (i couldn't do it) but I did kind of hint. Its weird because whilst I don't want anyone to ever know, I also do...Is that weird?? Well...I need help I guess.
I have talked to a few select friends, who've been their since the beginning, and they prompted me to talk. I'm very lucky I have them...How do you think my teacher will react?? I kind of really don't know what to expect...:S
well done for telling your teacher :] don't worry about it being long and also don't worry about her thinking you're weird.. i'm sure she won't. i can totally relate to not wanting anyone to know but at the same time you're desperate for someone to know. it's a difficult situation to be in. from your email she'll probably ask you some questions.. and if you've hinted about the self harm she may well pick up on that. the vast majority of teachers [from my experience at least] are very understanding and will do all they can to help. it's difficult to know exactly how she'll react. i suspect she'll be pleased that you contacted her. it's easier now that she knows a little more about whats going on. just see how it goes. i suspect she might refer you to one of the school counsellors or a member of the pastoral team.. [that seems to be the process that happens at most schools.] although i did have a head of year at my old school who to my knowledge never told anyone anything i'd told her and was unbelievably helpful. let us know how it goes and what her response is?. but most of all, don't fret about it.. teachers aren't there to make your life difficult. i'm pretty sure she'll do her best to help you. :]


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Re: School + depression...please help - October 4th 2009, 12:03 AM

Dear Frankie,
Sorry you've been having a hard time.
I think you did the right thing by emailing the teacher. I know that whenever I'd be having troubles I wouldn't be able to tell someone right to their face, but I'd write a note and give it to them or leave it for them.
If she gets your hint at SH and would ask you questions concerning it, do you think you'd answer them honestly? Like, maybe admitting to it? I know it's hard but it'll be best for you if you do tell someone about that as well and since she already knows about the depression affecting your grades, that could definitely help.
If you ever need anything, feel free to PM me. =]
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  (#7 (permalink)) Old
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Re: School + depression...please help - October 4th 2009, 10:30 AM

Thanks guys I am really glad I told her, hopefully she will react well...She used to help run Oxford Uni counselling service, so hopefully she has some idea of how to deal with it? I hope so anyhow. Our school is strange, she may refer me to a pastorally type person, but we don't have school counsellors. Also since I'm nearly 18 I think maybe they can handle it a bit differently. I think if she wants to refer she may talk to me first, or at least I hope so. I think if she asks q's about SH...I might answer them honestly. NOBODY knows right now, some of my closest friends know about everything else...but not this. I just would be so embaressed. But in a strange way I kind of hope she does ask. I have stopped for a while, and I'm doing well on coping on my own, but have recently started again because of my depression gettting worse...I'm know just spending my sunday worrying about what she'll do tomorrow...
Thanks xxx f
   
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