hurting friends????

[egg]

my life is so messed up.
i have so much to be grateful for, family, nice home, skl

friends

i cant understand why i feel i need to hurt them, why i need to make them suffer. 2 friends in particular i pick on. no one understands. i tried to explain it to my teacher, who helps me alot, and she just got angry, and she said some stuff that was quite hurtful, i cried after tlkin to her. she's always been so understanding, but now she's changed her attitude completely and she keeps telling me that if i carry on she will call my mum.

my mum doesnt know about my depression, or anything thats going on.

if she finds out, she will be fuming mad, like she was when i tried to tell her earlier on in the year. no one understands me anymore.

i feel so scared and alone. i feel trapped within my sadness.
i dont know what to do.

[*Jen*]

Hey,

I am sorry that you are going through this at the moment. You might have good friends and family but it doesn't take away all the bad stuff. Your teacher is only probably concerned about you and doesn't know what to do. She probably only wants to help but I guess it is really hard for her to be in the situation she is in because sometimes it can't be kept confidential.

You say your mum doesn't know about your depression or anything but she could be supportive if she knew. She might be angry to start with but in time she might understand and help you through things. It can be hard for people close to us to accept something like this and your mum might be angry because she feels it is her fault. But once she understands she could be helpful.

You don't have to be alone with all of this. Being trapped is such a horrible feeling but you can get out of this trap you are in. I am always here if you ever want to talk. Stay strong.

[lacrotix]

Originally Posted by egg

my life is so messed up.
i have so much to be grateful for, family, nice home, skl
friends

There is no such thing as a messed up life. You don't need to compare your life to others; just live your life. You worry too much.

Originally Posted by egg

i cant understand why i feel i need to hurt them, why i need to make them suffer. 2 friends in particular i pick on. no one understands.

You probably tried to think it out, so I will suggest an idea. Maybe you want them to understand how you feel. Both ways, it is a good thing that you recognize what you need to work on. Because now, you know what is your "enemy."

Originally Posted by egg

i tried to explain it to my teacher, who helps me alot, and she just got angry, and she said some stuff that was quite hurtful, i cried after tlkin to her. she's always been so understanding, but now she's changed her attitude completely and she keeps telling me that if i carry on she will call my mum.

It seems like your teacher is a motherly figure for you. It was a good choice on your part to seek someone else's opinion and help. Be proud of that. Your teacher may have changed her attitude to push you to change, with good intentions. Unfortunately, this provides her limited room to give emotionally support if she want to maintain the push factor. I don't believe your teacher is evil.

Originally Posted by egg

my mum doesnt know about my depression, or anything thats going on. if she finds out, she will be fuming mad, like she was when i tried to tell her earlier on in the year.

Your mom may be upset that you are not perfect, but she probably is more concerned after her mind is cleared of the fog. If your mom is in a good position to help you, approach her and wait for the fury to end. If you guessed right, she should start helping afterwards.

Originally Posted by egg

i feel so scared and alone. i feel trapped within my sadness.
i dont know what to do.

Indeed it feels scary to be trapped and have no freedom with your situation or emotions. However, have more faith in yourself. By approaching your teacher and TeenHelp, you have shown that you do know what to do. Don't doubt yourself and then everything should become clear. If not, you may at least know what needs to be done and in what direction. All in all, I wish you the best.

[egg]

thanks guys

i have told my mum, twice this year, that i think i may have depression. first time she was kind and talked me out of it. second time she was furious and told me to stop making up ilnesses for attention, and to stop tlkin 2 my teacher and to never mention depression to her ever again.

[Honorary Pug Girl]

Eggy I am sorry to hear your going through this! I think you feel the need to hurt them cause maybe your hurting yourself, but remember next time that two wrongs don't make a right. Hurting someone else only makes you feel worse in the end. Also if you think you have depression maybe talk to the school counselor and they can help you out just remember no matter what we all love you here! I hope this post helps! PM if you wanna talk! Love ya lots<3