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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
there is hope. <3
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Exclamation friend wants to die. nothing works. - November 9th 2009, 08:28 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

a friend of mine wants to kill himself. i'm talkin to him, another friend is talkin to him aswell but nothin works. i told him why he shouldnt do that and the reason why he should stick to hope but he just says he wants to die and he doesnt care if his girlfriend will get hurt if he dies. he says death is better than this life.. i dont know what to do.
i really don't




And the worst part is
before it gets any better we're headed for a cliff.
And in the free fall
I will realise I'm better off
when I hit the bottom.


this is how we dance when they try to take us down.


I am not a robot!



Keep On Moving. Keep The Faith.
Live.
Laugh.
Love. <3
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
there is hope. <3
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Re: friend wants to die. nothing works. - November 9th 2009, 08:49 PM

i dunno.. i mean i just stopped it and i dont want him to cut himself or anything. i just want him to live.



And the worst part is
before it gets any better we're headed for a cliff.
And in the free fall
I will realise I'm better off
when I hit the bottom.


this is how we dance when they try to take us down.


I am not a robot!



Keep On Moving. Keep The Faith.
Live.
Laugh.
Love. <3
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
silentmuffin Offline
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Re: friend wants to die. nothing works. - November 9th 2009, 09:04 PM

Anyway, it's hard to say what would be best for your friend, especially since we don't know the circumstances of his situation. Why does he feel like death would be better than the life he's living now? Is he depressed for unknown reasons, or is he being abused/neglected? Does he have a traumatic past?

Don't stop talking to him and trying to get through to him. Make sure you keep letting him know that you care and that you want him around. If it seems like he might be serious about taking his own life, then talk to his parents or another trusted adult. I know a lot of times, people get angry if you "butt in" and tell someone, but in the end you will be saving his life and he'll have a much better chance of getting the help he needs to get better.

I would suggest NOT using his girlfriend as a reason for him to stay alive. First of all, because suicidal people can easily rationalize suicide by saying that people will be better off or get over it in time. Second, because you don't know what the future holds, and if for some reason they break up, he could be pushed right back into this feeling. Make sure you give him reasons to live that are about HIM and how he deserves to be here and can get through anything as long as he keeps trying.


Aš tave myliu, Nanny. I'm carrying your love with me.

Last edited by Prozac; November 9th 2009 at 09:10 PM. Reason: Removing reference to deleted post
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
Pheonix Offline
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Re: friend wants to die. nothing works. - November 9th 2009, 09:52 PM

You are not going to like what I am about to say. Tell somebody. Tell his parents. Tell his teachers. Tell a guidance counselor. Yes, you will likely lose him. Do you chose to have a dead friend or would you rather him alive and mad at you? If he's dead, there is no second chance. He told you. When he tells you this, it means you have a chance to stop him. Why would he take that chance if he really wanted to die? Wouldn't he keep it a secret? Obviously you and this other person alone are not enough to stop him and I understand you'd love to be, but you can still stop him by getting somebody else to stop him. He doesn't want to die, but he doesn't know how to live as he is now, so he sees death as the only option. Somebody needs to get him enough help to get him to find a new way of life. I am sure he will forgive you someday, but you need to be willing to let him go and let him believe he hates you if you want to save his life. Do not tell him first because that will scare him and scared people do impulsive, quick, stupid things, so he may kill himself before you get him help. Give him no warning and thus no time to do it first. Will he kill himself if you don't tell anybody? That is not a sure thing, but do you want to take the chance that you will have to live the rest of your life knowing you could have saved him? Is his life more important than your friendship? Tell somebody. I am so sorry if you lose him, but if he lives, he will be able to forgive you, whereas if he dies, how will you face his family or friends knowing you could have said something? If he dies anyways, at least you did all you knew how. You are fully able to do this. Tell somebody if you love him (as a friend or more).

I am 22 years old and have taken psychology classes and known suicidal people. I have also heard about many people who didn't tell anyone, only to end up with a dead loved one. I sincerely hope this helps and you are alright. I am incredibly sorry if this hurts, but I find that many of the worthwhile things in life do, in order to make things right.
   
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
Alexx Offline
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Re: friend wants to die. nothing works. - November 10th 2009, 08:36 PM

I agree completely with Pheonix on this one. Infact, I think Pheonix summed up everything I was about to say, if not more xD

As difficult as it may be for you, telling someone really is the way forward. It will ensure them help.
   
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