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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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I really can't handle this anymore. I need to escape. - November 10th 2009, 08:10 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I can't stop crying. I want to overdose, or harm myself in any way. I've got the means to do it, I know I shouldn't but I've got nothing to live for. I just want to die, and I can't think of a single reason to live for anymore. I feel sick, shaky, I can't breathe properly I'm having flashbacks, from when I held myself under water. I feel like I'm choking, it's horrible. I can't handle it anymore. Death seems like a much better option. There's nobody to talk to, nobody to sit with me. I'm totally alone I just need help...
   
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Re: I really can't handle this anymore. I need to escape. - November 10th 2009, 08:24 PM

I would hug you right now, if I could Or sit with you. Or play chess with you. I don't know how to play but still.

Calm. Breathe. Distract yourself? Read a book, play a game? That's what I do whenever I want to kill myself.. which is often. And it's getting harder to do those things. Call an ambulance? If you think you will, or have done something destructive, that would be safe?

You're doing fantastic. Making this post is fantastic, which I know doesn't help anything, but it's true. You aren't alone, and do have things to live for. Who are you with now? Is there anyone you can tell?

Keep going. There is always tomorrow. :/
Feel free to message me if you want to talk more freely. I also have msn if you need.

I'll listen.
   
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Re: I really can't handle this anymore. I need to escape. - November 10th 2009, 08:29 PM

Thanks :\ I know I'm being so stupid. I just, ugh...I waste people's time...
I don't know how to play chess properly either, so you're not alone there, aha
I've tried to calm myself but I'm just getting more and more worked up. My parents are arguing and I hate it when this happens. There's no point with an ambulance. I haven't got time to lie in a bed and sleep, I don't wanna be drugged any more than I already am and ugh...I don't want to speak to any more 'professionals' I know I sound like I don't want help, I do...its just I've had it a million times before and they don't help me. I don't know what's going to help me anymore.
   
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Re: I really can't handle this anymore. I need to escape. - November 10th 2009, 08:46 PM

You aren't being stupid! Honestly.
And you aren't wasting peoples time, either. Friends, family, we're all here to help eachother. This sites job is to offer support, and professionals get payed for it anyway. You really aren't wasting our time (:

Parents argueing is always horrid I'm sorry to hear that. Can you leave the house for a bit, or plug into your ipod or something?

& I know how you feel. I don't think I can be helped, either. I'm oddly jealous though.. at least you've spoken to people :/ I have a meeting with someone in a couple of weeks, which is my first proper attempt to get help. I think it'll be a waste of time.

What makes you sad right now, if you don't mind me asking? Despite your parents =/
   
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Re: I really can't handle this anymore. I need to escape. - November 10th 2009, 08:53 PM

Jealous? Oh please :\ Don't be! I only spoke to someone coz the police stopped me from offing myself. I wouldn't be jealous of that, though I wish I'd completed what I begun. I don't know whats making me sad, just everything. Thoughts, flashbacks, everything. I don't want to live :\
   
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Re: I really can't handle this anymore. I need to escape. - November 11th 2009, 03:35 PM

I know it's horrid, and that 'professionals' don't help, but in the long run, they can :/
If they aren't helping? Tell them that! Find someone who can!
You don't deserve to live to miserably, and I'm not just saying that. You seem to be such a lovely person, and I have no doubt you have friends and family around you who need you.

I don't want to live, either. But I am, because I know that my mum will probably kill herself too if I did. I can't do that to her.
I don't know how well you get on with your parents, but I've no doubt that there isn't at least one person out there who you have a similar relationship with. Keep going, chuck.

Or I'll come and find you and keep you going myself ;D
   
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Re: I really can't handle this anymore. I need to escape. - November 11th 2009, 09:55 PM

I don't have any friends or family! I went to see my dad today, and he ignored me. I haven't seen him since July and he sat there talking to one of his online friends whilst playing Call Of Duty MW2! I sat there, for three hours...just staring at the floor. He doesn't give a damn about me. My mum just shouted at me for no reason, I just slashed my arm to pieces aha. I need pills now. I think I'm done haha.
   
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