TeenHelp
Support Forums Today's Posts

Get Advice Connect with TeenHelp Resources
HelpLINK Facebook     Twitter     Tumblr     Instagram    Hotlines    Safety Zone    Alternatives


You are not registered or have not logged in

Hello guest! (Not a guest? Log in above!)

As a guest on TeenHelp you are only able to use some of our site's features. By registering an account you will be able to enjoy unlimited access to our site, and will be able to:

  • Connect with thousands of teenagers worldwide by actively taking part in our Support Forums and Chat Room.
  • Find others with similar interests in our Social Groups.
  • Express yourself through our Blogs, Picture Albums and User Profiles.
  • And much much more!

Signing up is free, anonymous and will only take a few moments, so click here to register now!


Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

Closed Thread
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Crescendo Offline
Walking The Line
Junior TeenHelper
****
 
Crescendo's Avatar
 
Name: ...
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Location: ...

Posts: 337
Blog Entries: 82
Join Date: December 17th 2009

Question In Search Of Meaning - January 11th 2010, 10:41 PM

I've been teleporting again. Not to various destinations or times, but to different moods. People talk about mood as if it is a continuum. You slide back and forth between the highs and lows. It's not like that for me. My mood can change dramatically in a very brief period of time with very little external trigger.

This causes me to go from being numb to being very hopeful & optimistic to being suicidal.

Why am I suicidal?

Well I guess the main reasons people live are because they are happy, meaningful, or curious to see what will happen.

I'm not curious, and i'm just unhappy & feel like i'm failing at doing my job on earth, so i don't have meaning, so there's no point in living. i don't understand exactly what my job is yet. i think my job is to deliver some sort of message to the earth. but i don't understand what the message is, or how to figure out the message. and how to deliver it once i do figure it out.

i mean, it'd be selfish for me to die now. but i think being happy is irrelevant to my life. sometimes i'm suicidal even when things are great and i'm in a good mood. But happiness does make life more tempting. However, i want to have meaning, not happiness. but since i haven't figured out my meaning, and i'm not happy, there's little reason to stick around.

I feel like if i don't figure out my message soon i should "move on" and kill myself, since i failed my job and my life is pointless. i just need to figure out how much time i should give myself before killing myself.
i don't believe in god, i don't know what i believe, but i believe there is some semblance of fate. and that fate has given me this job to preform, and that i need to fulfill it for the greater good of the human race.

Any input on this?
of course, i'm aware this sounds psycho. i'm not on drugs or anything though lol.








When the patient's body has betrayed them,
and all the sciencewe have to offer has failed them,
when worst-case scenario comes true,
clinging to hope is all we've got left.
-grey's.anatomy-
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Batman. Offline
Protector of Gotham
I can't get enough
*********
 
Batman.'s Avatar
 
Name: Julz
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Location: Ontario, Canada

Posts: 2,724
Blog Entries: 5
Join Date: December 14th 2009

Re: In Search Of Meaning - January 11th 2010, 10:54 PM

Well I think that your purpose in life is to help others. You seem content helping them, and you're good at it. So I mean, maybe you should continue with that.

I think that if you stuck to it and went through all the school, you could be a great therapist/psychiatrist for troubled teens.
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
thisiscourtney Offline
Member
Junior TeenHelper
****
 
thisiscourtney's Avatar
 
Name: Courtney
Age: 25
Gender: Female

Posts: 232
Join Date: November 11th 2009

Re: In Search Of Meaning - January 12th 2010, 04:03 AM

^ I'm with the above.

You've helped people exponentially. I know you've inspired me, and I'm pretty sure you've lifted some other peoples' spirits.

Just wanted to say: My moods change like crazy, too. All I have to do is like accidentally spill something or hear my mom mention a particulary triggering subject and I'll have a horrible day. I guess the best we can do for now is wait for those happy moments and enjoy them while they last until they get to lasting longer. You once told me to write down things that are present in those happy moments that aren't around during the suicidal or blank ones. I'm waiting for one of those good moments to think about it and write some things down, but to me, it was extremely good advice.


Waitin' for my ruca.
   
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
Union Of V Offline
Scepticism With A Tail
I can't get enough
*********
 
Union Of V's Avatar
 
Name: Basil!!!
Age: 27
Gender: Male
Location: Cork, Ireland

Posts: 2,017
Blog Entries: 22
Join Date: January 31st 2009

Re: In Search Of Meaning - January 12th 2010, 03:56 PM

I've been in exactly the same situation as you. Look carefully at the following:
Quote:
Originally Posted by Crescendo View Post
Why am I suicidal?

Well I guess the main reasons people live are because they are happy, meaningful, or curious to see what will happen.

I'm not curious, and i'm just unhappy & feel like i'm failing at doing my job on earth, so i don't have meaning, so there's no point in living.
Now: you say you're suicidal because you don't have a purpose, but others aren't because
a) they're happy
b) they're curious, and their curiosity keeps them happy or
c) they have their own purpose, and that keeps them happy

Note that to enjoy life you don't need a purpose. You need to be happy inside - maybe that's because you have a purpose, but it doesn't need to be so.

Purposes are artificial. On the wider scale of things there is no purpose. I ditched the "help other people" argument when I started doing serious hiking - you quickly learn that helping other people is secondary to looking after yourself, not out of selfishness but because you help yourself better than you help other people.

Now, you're suicidal because you're not happy - so you want to be happy. There we have something that's.... not quite a purpose, but at least it's an aim of sorts You want to be happy. How? Well the reasons I outlined above are good starts. Create a purpose (it doesn't have to be a big purpose, after all it's just to make you feel better) or start a newhobby, or whatever. Do something that will have an effect on yourself, because the best thing you can strive towards and feel good about is happiness.
  Send a message via MSN to Union Of V  
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
Crescendo Offline
Walking The Line
Junior TeenHelper
****
 
Crescendo's Avatar
 
Name: ...
Age: 26
Gender: Female
Location: ...

Posts: 337
Blog Entries: 82
Join Date: December 17th 2009

Re: In Search Of Meaning - January 12th 2010, 04:14 PM

I went to bed before 11 last night. Woke up at 6 for school. Cut. Got dressed. Realized: I want to die. Asked my mom to stay home. Went back to bed for another 5 and a half hours, where I slept in a ball, crying and sucking my thumb like a toddler. I'm falling to pieces.



When the patient's body has betrayed them,
and all the sciencewe have to offer has failed them,
when worst-case scenario comes true,
clinging to hope is all we've got left.
-grey's.anatomy-
   
  (#6 (permalink)) Old
Batman. Offline
Protector of Gotham
I can't get enough
*********
 
Batman.'s Avatar
 
Name: Julz
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Location: Ontario, Canada

Posts: 2,724
Blog Entries: 5
Join Date: December 14th 2009

Re: In Search Of Meaning - January 12th 2010, 08:32 PM


I know theres nothing I can say to make you feel better, but I mean, I really wish the best for you.
   
Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Tags
depression, happiness, meaning, search, suicide, teleportation

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off




All material copyright 1998-2018, TeenHelp.
Terms | Legal | Privacy | Conduct | Complaints

Powered by vBulletin®.
Copyright ©2000-2019, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Search engine optimization by vBSEO.
Theme developed in association with vBStyles.