Illness Causing Depression?

[Spontaneous Smile]

I feel really bad right now. I've been sick since Thursday with something that we don't know what it is yet. And each time I go to school I feel sicker than I do when I'm at home relaxing.

My Mom says that I'm actually good enough to go to school and that I'm just emotionally drained- like I'm letting my anxiety get the best of me and that I'm worried too much about getting sick at school.

When she told me that I suddenly felt reeeaaaalllllyyyy depressed. Like emotional crisis freak out time.

I've managed to calm down a little. But I suddenly wanted to just kill myself, because I don't know what's wrong with me! I don't know if I'm emotionally drained or if it's because I'm sick that I'm anxious. Or something, but she made me feel really bad, like I'm just an emotionally wrecked child.

I talked to my Dad about it, and he said that I could try to go to school so that I don't fall behind. But he said that what my Mom said wasn't right. That being sick can take a lot out of you. And I know I'm not completely over it yet. I can't eat a lot and I can't eat certain things without feeling sick.

But I think that if I feel sick when I go to school, then I probably just shouldn't go! I should probably just stay home and try to relax and get better. And hopefully today I'll know what's wrong with me and I'll be able to recover faster.

But I really need help here. I don't know what it is. I guess I need to hear other opinions and comforting words. Lol

[Stephanie]

Hey there Mariah,

I'm sorry to hear that you haven't been feeling too good recently, it can make things very draining and stressful.

It is possible that you could be suffering depression from your illness or even the other way round, whatever it is, the depression certainly won't be helping anything, as you'll have noticed. You also mention feeling anxious a few times in your post, that sounds like it's quite an issue for you. You may find it useful to talk through your anxieties with your parents. I think that it would be a very good idea for you to talk to a doctor about how you're feeling - both physically and mentally. By seeing a doctor, you could receive some very beneficial help for how you're feeling. Even if you don't know what's causing you to feel bad initially then you may be able to get some good input from a doctor.

There is no need to suffer with this alone.

Take care.

[Spontaneous Smile]

I'm already on anxiety medication. And it does help. In fact I was doing pretty okay until I got sick- then my head got all jumbled up I guess.

I went to school for half of the day and felt pretty good. But I also haven't been eating much today- thus there's no reason for me to feel nauseous. So I really do think that the illness is what's causing me such grief.

Of course, throwing up, being bedridden, and not being able to move around and eat as much as you want it pretty discouraging.

I know I'll get better. The question is when. And how long it will take.

To be honest I think there are a lot of other things still stressing me out to make me break down like I did.

My Grandma passed away 2 months ago, all of my friends are graduating this year, and I've just started driving- which is more of a 'change' thing that depressing. You know, just a lot of things that could slammed with a random virus or bacteria that made me really sick.

Still, I really wish my Mom hadn't said what she had, because it really set my anxiety into overdrive. I don't even want to think about it or how bad the anxiety was. I don't want to think what could have happened or what. But I'm glad that I was able to talk to my Dad and calm myself down. I love my life- I want to take it with the good and the bad and pile on the years. I think life it wonderful and beautiful and I'm grateful that I'm able to see how blessed I am.

I think it's just been a lot of stress and I'm just glad I've had such supportive people on here and in real life.

[Jacksonian]

Then in addition to what is here already, I suggest you not be too fragile. There are different things out there so you need to be stronger, emotionally and mentally that is.

I say this because when your mother said what she said you went completely into another territory of emotion. You need to take control of your emotion and to stop being so fragile.
So work on that.

[Spontaneous Smile]

So how can I stop being so fragile?

I do feel better now. But I think it was just a lot of built of stress and when she said that it just struck a cord. Oh! I have a counselors appointment tomorrow, so I'll run all of this by her too.

[Jacksonian]

First of all by deciding not to be fragile. Deciding in your heart not to be scared of stuff.
And secondly, doing just that. When an opportunity comes when something seems to make you afraid, you don't be afraid.

NB : It takes time so start out slow and then you will begin to become stronger and stronger( all of this is mentally and emotionally of course ).