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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
liketheangel Offline
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just wants to die - June 1st 2010, 06:18 PM

i know i shouldnt, i know people will initially be upset, but i know everyones lives would be better if im not here. all i do is screw up,
and i cant stop thinking about my rape's and how they must be my fault for the terrible person ive become, i cant sleep i cant eat all i do is drink to try to get through, ive tried before but im a coward, i cant explain it but i need to die, the only person who did care about how im feeling and was helping ive jsut royaly pissed off so she doesnt care anymore
i just need to go


Floating, falling, sweet intoxication
Touch me, trust me, savour each sensation
let the dream begin let your darker side give in
to the power of the music that I write
The power of the music of the night
   
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
Firesong3 Offline
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Re: just wants to die - June 1st 2010, 07:09 PM

No, please don't! I care!! Please, please, please, I'm sure that no matter what all the people who know you would be devastated, even if you think you're not a good person I know that you are, because inside there is a person who refuses to give up and you might not feel that right now but later you will!!

There are things you can do to feel better, and however you were abused it is NOT your fault, YOU CAN FEEL BETTER I promise, you must find somebody and talk to them and tell them how you are feeling, call a helpline, do what you must, just don't give up because I would most definitely care. Promise me you will do this.
   
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
aemina Offline
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Re: just wants to die - June 1st 2010, 07:15 PM

if you think, if you die no one will miss you...
no one will care.. no one will be upset..
your definitely wrong.
I don't know you at all and I would be up set..
I've thought about suicide before and killing my self when times were bad.
but I always thought to my self...
if I kill my self, they win...
they got the best of me..
I never allowed that to happen and neither should you.
it's never to late to change it's never to late to start over.
it takes time and time sometimes sucks to wait for but be strong.
just know that this is a stage and things can only get better once you hit bottom.
its the darkest just before the dawn.


Everything Happens For A Reason, The Hardest Part Is Figuring Out What That Reason Is
   
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liketheangel Offline
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Re: just wants to die - June 1st 2010, 08:55 PM

thanks for replying and ur kind words. but i give up ive gotta go. im so lonely and the worst part is i deserve it. so i deserve to die


Floating, falling, sweet intoxication
Touch me, trust me, savour each sensation
let the dream begin let your darker side give in
to the power of the music that I write
The power of the music of the night
   
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Re: just wants to die - June 1st 2010, 10:35 PM

You don't deserve loneliness and you don't deserve death! You do deserve to be given a second chance, a life where you can help other people and make the world a better place. You might feel like you aren't a good person now but I promise you that it's possible to be one. You can stay on this Earth and help as many people as possible, and you can change people's lives for the better, but you can only do that if you are HERE. It seems impossible now, I know, but it is possible that you can be happy and content. Whatever you feel you deserve, this is not the answer. You don't deserve to be lonely, sometimes the bravest thing you can do is reach out and ask other people for help. Please, at least try to ask for help. There is a way out.
   
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Re: just wants to die - June 1st 2010, 10:42 PM

I know that you feel like you deserve this. But honestly no one does! I would not wish the feelings that you are having, and that I have had, on anyone- not even my worst enemy. No one should have to go through the suffering that you are experiencing right now. I wish I could find what I wrote a long time ago but I lost it so I will try to remember as best as I can.....a long time ago in my diary I wrote that all the kindest and strongest people are those who have been depressed and have thought about suicide. I have always found that the best people in the world are those who are suffering and its not fair. Its not fair because those people dont deserve to be in the prison that they are in. And that includes you- you DO NOT deserve this. No one ever does. You did nothing wrong to feel like this. I know that you think that you have but you really, honestly havnt.
I know that being strong is so hard right now because you have been strong for so long and have held on for so long. But you have to keep fighting, you have to keep trying. There are so many people who love you and there are so many people who will love you once they get to know you and if you die you would be depriving them of getting to know you. If you end your life right now, so many people would miss out on all you have to offer this world. I know that right now you dont see it that way because the darkness is all around it and it doesnt allow you to see. But please believe me, the darkness does fade over time. Sometimes it gets lighter and then darker again, but eventually it does start to clear up for good. Right now picture your world as a sunny place is probably unimaginable. But just know that your entire life is not going to be stuck in the dark, you will make it out- slowly over time the darkness will fade to gray until that gray gets lighter and lighter and lighter. Please know that you are so strong for all you are going through and your strength could help so many people. If you ever ever ever need or want to talk please please PM me anytime!


"Sometimes you have to kind of die inside in order to rise from your own ashes and believe in yourself and love yourself and become a new person." -Gerard Way
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Re: just wants to die - June 2nd 2010, 01:41 AM

There's always someone out there who would miss you if you were gone. I don't even know you, and I care and would be upset, same with the other posters here.

And you definitely don't deserve this. And it sounds like you've been through some horrible experiences, but they most definitely aren't your fault. And if you've upset your friend, she'll understand, we all upset friends at times, it happens when people are close to you and it's part of friendship. You can get though this, things can get better if you keep trying.

If you're lonely and you'd like a friend or someone to talk to about anything at all, just send me a message. Give yourself a chance at least, and trust us that you definitely deserve to be happy.
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