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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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LittleFish Offline
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No more - July 22nd 2010, 08:14 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I can't live anymore. I'm sick of fooling myself into thinking that there's a cure for me. There's no point in trying to get help. I don't even want to help myself. I hate myself. I can't stand myself. I'm so pathetic that I ignore my own friends and make excuses not to hang out with them. I'll bet most of them are starting to hate me by now. I just don't feel like waiting any longer. It's not fair. One minute I feel like I'm getting better, then the next, I'm right back where I started. I'm scared, though. I don't want to hurt the people I love, I really don't. But they don't understand... Sometimes I wish they didn't care so I would be able to do this without any guilt. And I'm also scared of what happens next. I don't know what's waiting for me at the end. But whatever it is, I'm an idiot anyway so it only makes sense. I'm just gonna do it and get it over with. I'm going to cut my wrists until I bleed to death, and nothing's going to change my mind. I suppose I'm posting this just to prove to myself that it's real. If I made a promise that I didn't keep, it'd be pretty humiliating.
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
sirjan xerdaj Offline
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Re: No more - July 22nd 2010, 04:45 PM

One Face-eating Alien to another. Human friends aren't as advance as you and me so you shouldn't worry too much about them noticing anything different, even if you have distanced yourself. Unless you told them differently they'll assume you're busy. I think that's why they communicate amongst each other. They call it "hanging out." If you've done anything to piss them off I suggest you apologize give them a big o' hug and carry on. COMMENCE THE FRIENDSHIP REVIVAL IMMEDIATELY! Report to the mother ship or pm me.

[X E R D A J] ~Sessyrocks~
-=i wanna be your knight=-
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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
floatingangel Offline
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Re: No more - July 22nd 2010, 05:06 PM

hey hey, i hope you're alright and still here..
try to calm down and take a good look at where you are now. it may seem obvious that you don't want to remain in this situation, but somehow, our minds seem to want to stay there. i've been there myself, not in the exact situation of course, but in a similar state of mind. so believe me when i say that there's a way out of it, no matter how long it takes. and the end is worth it (:
if you end your life or hurt yourself, honestly, people are going to be hurt much more by it..
you're not a mistake. you've made mistakes, and you're making mistakes, and you will make mistakes.. but it's alright.. everyone makes mistakes that are unique to themselves and its normal. try taking a leap of faith and meet your frens up, just chat about anything. (: meeting up is also not an obligation, but you can't reject all meetups..
take care and pm me anytime (:

and the voice of truth tells me a different story
the voice of truth says "do not be afraid"
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
LittleFish Offline
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Name: Se-Se
Age: 26
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Location: Good Ol' New Mexico (yeah, right)

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Join Date: March 1st 2009

Re: No more - July 22nd 2010, 10:44 PM

Hey. Just wanted to say thanks for the responses. I've posted another thread now because I think my difficulty with social situations has to do with something else even if it does contribute to the depression. But reading over what I wrote, I'm starting to get scared. I get into modes like that a lot, and there's not much I can do when I'm feeling that way to make it better other than sleep. I'm scared that one of these times, I'm really going to kill myself. I think I need to tell my counselor, but I'm afraid... What do you think she'll say/do?
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