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ggg93 Offline
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Red face Just don't feel right! - November 11th 2010, 04:55 PM

So idk how to put this and I don't even know what is truly bothering me. I feel like my entire life is a mess. No Im not suicidal or anything.. In just tiered. I feel the need to stop and relax but if I do, so many things will go by! I'm a sixteen year old turning seventeen in two days and I'm planning my own birthday party because no one else will do it If I don't. I plan parties for friends and family who are having their birthdays but I get nothing in return. I don't do this wistfully, but its nice to know that someone cares.. And I don't know that. I feel like i tie too much and receive nothing. I know it's it's good to give but it's still pretty shitty! I have tons of friends and I come from a large family... But I sometimes feel terribly alone. I have a wonderful girlfriend and good best friends... But I still feel shitty. And to top everything off.. Money is starting to become an issue. I need a new fucking life! Sad thing is.. People have this image of me and my perfect life that they never bother asking how things are. What a nice birthday huh!
   
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will was here Offline
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Re: Just don't feel right! - November 11th 2010, 06:17 PM

your birthday is something very special because it's the day the world was graced by another special person that brings sunshine to others. I think your are a blessing for planning parties to make others feel special even when you feel you don't get anything in return. not everyone is that strong. Stay strong and I hope you find what you are looking for.


flower
hello my heart where have you been
I missed you when you left
you ran away with that senseless boy
and left me dim and dry
like a faded flower in the mist

Come back my heart. you have a home here
In this place that is my soul
I want to feel like whole again. don't waste your time with him

Have faith my heart. You'll get a second chance
come back to me and you will not be alone
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Re: Just don't feel right! - November 14th 2010, 05:43 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by will was here View Post
your birthday is something very special because it's the day the world was graced by another special person that brings sunshine to others. I think your are a blessing for planning parties to make others feel special even when you feel you don't get anything in return. not everyone is that strong. Stay strong and I hope you find what you are looking for.
Things didnt turn out that great.. :/
   
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Re: Just don't feel right! - November 15th 2010, 07:29 PM

Hello there,

That's pretty much how I felt for most of my life, minus the large social network part - so you're definitely not alone. Society expects everyone to find equal fulfillment in the presence of certain popular external factors - but guess what, society is wrong. Sometimes, for some people, these are the exact things which oppress the individual within and cut them off from their own sources of fulfillment.

It's frustrating to be unable to pinpoint the exact cause of 'not feeling right' - it's not so much the absence of something specific as it is, the presence of everything undesirable. Perhaps the only way is to cast all of it off, so as to give oneself enough breathing space to open up to the world again, before the 'right' path can be determined.

I'm not too sure what else to suggest, except that moving away from home for university was the best thing I've ever done for myself. For many young people, it is the only opportunity available for a 'new life' any time soon. It's not easy, especially when one struggles financially, but it's worthwhile nonetheless.

The only constant is change - so hang in there, it will come.
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Re: Just don't feel right! - November 15th 2010, 10:17 PM

I understand how having a bad birthday feels. My father used to drink and used to be a total asshole during my birthdays, and pretty much ruined every one for me. Up until recently, after he stopped drinking for good, my birthdays finally became better. But I can never forgive it and I will definitely never forget.
Secondly, I believe it is what you want it to be, what you make it, not what others make for you. You have to think of yourself and treat yourself more often, look out for yourself and not always be concerned with other people. It's okay to care about others and help people sometimes, but I find if you only mainly concerned with others then you leave yourself abandoned, and it takes awhile for you to get back to yourself and your needs, which is something you need to consider too.
   
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Re: Just don't feel right! - November 15th 2010, 11:17 PM

Hey ggg93,

It seems like you're giving and not doing a lot of taking. Don't worry though, as you age and get older, and as your friends get older, the people around you mature and will start appreciating other people's favors. That's how I feel about it, at least.

You say that you appear to have a perfect life to others. I think what would help is going to one of your friends and confiding in them and talking to them about what's bothering you. If you keep things to yourself, people are not going to doubt that something is wrong with you, but if you make it known to others, then people are going to be concerned and go out of their way to ask you how you are. Do you catch my drift?
   
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