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Antihero
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Five to midnight - November 28th 2010, 06:00 AM

I can't help feeling that my time is running out. Whatever potential I once had, I've wasted. I regret my past, am ashamed of my present state, and dread the future. Everyone I meet these days treats me as an object to be used and discarded at their convenience. I'm terribly lonely, but I can't seem to trust anyone -- even when I can, it never pays off anyway. I try to stay positive around my friends and my family; they've put up with enough of my shit already and I don't want to alienate them further. I wish I could change, I wish I could learn from my mistakes, I wish I could love, but I can't.


Sorry, this post is really out of character for me, I guess I really just need someone to talk to.



The neon burns a hole in the night, and the Freon burns a hole in the sky.
You can find my kind living right on the fault line, eyes on the seaside, lives on the B-side, kites on the power lines.
   
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Hiraeth Offline
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Re: Five to midnight - November 28th 2010, 04:47 PM

Hey James,

It's alright, we all have moments like these every one in a while - as long as we don't let them grow too powerful, they will pass soon enough and everything will be okay.

Change is occurring, although at such a painful speed that one wouldn't recognize it as such. Each day of discontentment, of the semi-conscious longing for a better state, all cumulates until it reaches a critical point - like the saying, it only gets so worse before it has to start getting better.

There is no such thing as wasted potential - some of us find our paths much later than others, but I would say that the act of finding it in itself is something to be grateful of. The past is not something to feel bad about, because all those experiences have helped make us who we are today - as well as the person you will be when definitive steps are taken towards progress. Everything takes time, unfortunately - not necessarily encouraging, but it is true. I maintain, however, that anything which doesn't kill us will make us a better person. Life is a journey, not a destination; the most meaningful lives are usually not "those that had everything easy", but rather those ones full of obstacles and challenges to learn and grow from.

If you ever need someone to talk to, I am here. You won't be bothering me.
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