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-   -   Triggering (Suicide): Sincere Uncertainty (http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f11-depression-suicide/t63273-sincere-uncertainty/)

Something Clever January 1st 2011 10:22 PM

Sincere Uncertainty
 
My life has always been considerably... well, good.
Just now, thinking of all the things and people in my life I'm grateful for, I know I am a very lucky person who should be happy beyond belief.

But, somehow, in some way or fashion, I am not happy right now. I know not if this feeling of mine is temporary but I've felt this way on and off for a while now. Maybe it's normal. I'm not sure. All I know is I'm so confused right now. I don't know if I want to kill myself, I just know that I want this emotional angst and pain to end.

Realistically, it wouldn't really matter if I killed myself. In fact, I could easily talk myself into it if I tried. But still, there's a part of me that hesitates, a part that shows me there may be hope for me yet. I don't know why I'm posting this or what response I hope to recieve. I really just don't know anything right now.

I guess I'm hoping for a miracle, an epiphany, maybe even something as small and simple as a hug. These feelings I have are weak, not strong enough to make me do anything rash. But I'm afraid they may grow stronger.... So I don't know what to do. I just don't know. I don't know.

I am not asking you to fix me or to change how I think. I just want to know what YOU think. If I'm here, there is hope for me yet. So no pressure, I welcome all responses and ideas. Thanks to all who respond, to all who only read this, and to all that even click on this thread. So I open myself to the internet like many have with hope in my heart.

What do you think?

minniemouseprincess January 1st 2011 10:34 PM

Re: Sincere Uncertainty
 
Of course there is hope for you! There is always hope and things can always get better. I am sorry you have been having a rough time but it certainly isn't worth killing yourself over. Everyone deserves to live. You have so much ahead of you and it is not worth throwing all away. I think you should maybe talk to a trusted friend or counceler about what's been going on and I think they will do whatever they can to help you. It will all be alright in time, I promise=)

Something Clever January 1st 2011 10:45 PM

Re: Sincere Uncertainty
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by minniemouseprincess (Post 551499)
Of course there is hope for you! There is always hope and things can always get better. I am sorry you have been having a rough time but it certainly isn't worth killing yourself over. Everyone deserves to live. You have so much ahead of you and it is not worth throwing all away. I think you should maybe talk to a trusted friend or counceler about what's been going on and I think they will do whatever they can to help you. It will all be alright in time, I promise=)

Thank you very much, that means more to me than you know. I appreciate your sincere encourgement :)
While I still do feel down and out, I know you're right and I think I may call my therapist as I haven't seen her in a while.

The problem is, I have a habit of acting happy when I see her, even when I'm not. Maybe I will print out this post to remind myself that I should be honest in order to get help.

Thanks again, I hope you are right

Something Clever January 1st 2011 11:05 PM

Re: Sincere Uncertainty
 
Even though I appreciate your support, I feel I could still use some othyer people's thoughts and ideas on this. Anybody?

I am lonley January 1st 2011 11:15 PM

Re: Sincere Uncertainty
 
Dont kill your self, try and get help before it become a major prob likeit is for me. i dont have the will power to kill myself but have tryed many times my mind just starts talking about it and slowly talks me into trying.

Of corse theres hope for you keep your head up try and think happy thougts, i know how hard a long distance relastionship can be as i recently came out of one a few month ago. You should try and seek help from your freinds. Then if nothing helps go to a councler. :)

I really hope you fell better VERY soon!

Something Clever January 1st 2011 11:20 PM

Re: Sincere Uncertainty
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by I am lonley (Post 551547)
Dont kill your self, try and get help before it become a major prob likeit is for me. i dont have the will power to kill myself but have tryed many times my mind just starts talking about it and slowly talks me into trying.

Of corse theres hope for you keep your head up try and think happy thougts, i know how hard a long distance relastionship can be as i recently came out of one a few month ago. You should try and seek help from your freinds. Then if nothing helps go to a councler. :)

I really hope you fell better VERY soon!

Thank you so much.... That is very sweet and thoughtful :')
I'm starting to feel better actually. Thank you again

I am lonley January 1st 2011 11:25 PM

Re: Sincere Uncertainty
 
heyy if you ever have any big troubles feel free to PM me if you want to :)

Your welcome i'm here for you :)

minniemouseprincess January 1st 2011 11:42 PM

Re: Sincere Uncertainty
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Something Clever (Post 551510)

Thank you very much, that means more to me than you know. I appreciate your sincere encourgement :)
While I still do feel down and out, I know you're right and I think I may call my therapist as I haven't seen her in a while.

The problem is, I have a habit of acting happy when I see her, even when I'm not. Maybe I will print out this post to remind myself that I should be honest in order to get help.

Thanks again, I hope you are right

You are very welcome and I am here for you as well if you ever need someone to talk to=)


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