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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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Firebolt Offline
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Question someone please take this pain away - May 6th 2011, 07:56 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I don't really know who I'm talking to right now but here I go. For four years on my own I've been battling what most would call clinical depression. Hoping that is would get better. Truth is it hasn't. It's only gotten worse. I've lost interest in the things I love most and I've gotten to the point where I've lost faith in my religious beliefs. I truthfully only have two people who I can trust and who understand me. I go through day's where people make fun of me for what I say, how I dress, the things I like, and people call me names like "pedophile" for dating someone one or two years younger than myself. All I've become is a burden to my parents, my mom she doesn't know if she will have a job next year in order to support us and if I wasn't selfish when i was 12, we could have moved before she was forced to file bankruptcy. My dad left when I was 6 and he hasn't been as active in my life the last 3 years as he was before and now is when I need him the most. And on top of that. The girl that I truly loved left me for someone else but she claims she still loves me. But she wouldn't take me back when I asked her. And she told me her new boyfriend is just perfect. and yesterday she told me they kissed. Something she was too "timid" to do with me. I've tried to move on and i just can't. I just feel that the entire world would be better off without me. I just feel like a complete waste of space. I just feel so alone and unwanted. And maybe one person can actually notice it without me making a big spectacle. I've come so close to just cutting myself till I bleed dry twice. The second being last night. I refuse to go on anti-depression pills, I won't become a freak even more then people already believe me to be.
   
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Re: someone please take this pain away - May 6th 2011, 08:23 PM

heyy.. it sounds like you are having a really hard time hun. im here to help. ive been through a lot of crap in my life too. i have an undiagnosable disease it causes me to stop breathing. i completely understand your girl problems. if you need help please pm me. i am definatly willing to talk. im a good listener and i swear on my life that i will not judge you. i dont even have to answer. you can just vent. whatever works for you. just please message me. <3


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