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BlueWolf Offline
A lost wolf
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Name: Jessica
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Location: Georgia, USA

Posts: 352
Blog Entries: 5
Join Date: January 14th 2010

Slipping - June 26th 2011, 07:43 PM

This thread has been labeled as triggering by the original poster or by a Moderator. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

I really have no idea what to do. I've completely stopped eating and I can't sleep anymore, yet I find myself in my room all day either laying down trying to sleep or just staring at the walls mostly. I feel like I want to cry, but how can I went I feel so hollow. It's like there's nothing left, not even a few more tears left to cry. My body feels weak and achy. I have no one to talk to. All my friends keep telling me they are busy, and usually I just want to randomly talk or plan to do something fun. pft. I don't even want to go outside of this room and meet new people. I'm so terrified around people now it's not even funny. I'll just get laughed at. I mean, someone my age so awkward around people is strange.

I feel like I've fallen into a million pieces. No one seems to really care either. Everyone just says I'm being dramatic and ignore me. But I can't help that I feel this way. There is a lot of stress going on to. So it's not like it could be any worse. Not when I can't find a job and my mom and I are gonna be out of a place to live. Parking lot here we come. I just hope I won't still be here by then. I've been slipping up on cutting now. I'm starting to be right back where I started.

There is nothing for me to look forward to. I failed at accomplishing my sole dream. It was what made me... me. I've fought and fought, and please don't say there are other ways. I've already taken the alternate routes. No amount of years is going to change it either. I know this just sounds like I'm being negative, but it's too much to explain or else I would.

I really see no point in living. For someone who cares? Who cares that much to where it would make a difference? I already know it won't. I can't live in this state. I'm not really going to take my life, but I'm not going to fight either. I'll just give in to it. I'll let it take me away. I'll just.... slowly slip away. I've already started too. It's only a matter of time now. I'm not strong enough to keep fighting.

Self-harm free since 10.1.2013
"You have not failed if you learned something from it."
"Life's not about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain"
"Weak heart, Dying soul, Falling apart, Make me whole, These broken blues, Peirce your being, Hide the truth, You won't be seeing."
"Deeper, Deeper, Deeper inside me I live a life that seems to be a lost reality."
"Big Brother is watching."

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