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Misslostintears Offline
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Question watery death. a feeling so good yet so bad - July 12th 2011, 05:59 AM

I tried to kill myself today. Twice. I was swimming with my sisters at my cousin's. I had just hit the wate. I was just swimming and all of a sudden I was grabbing onto the side of the pool and I push my body underwater. I felt the water fill my lungs and I got dizzy and out of breathe. It felt as if I was letting go of all I was holding unto. My sister saw my and pushed me back to the sufrice before I could actually feel my last breathe. It was like I was in a trance because the moment my head hit the water surfice I came back to my senses. About an hour later the same thing happened. Except I felt myself being let go from my body until I heard screaming and someone pulling my from the water. When I came to my grandfather was trying to calm my crying mom. I don't know what happened but it felt right and I want to try it again I want to die in the water for an unknown reason.
   
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Re: watery death. a feeling so good yet so bad - July 12th 2011, 07:52 AM

why is it you want to be dead? to have the experience of dying? maybe throw that in the bucket list somewhere down the line, because that one seems final. i think i may somewhat understand the attraction of water... but remember the sounds of the scream and your mom crying... what if the water surrounds you forever and all you hear for the rest of eternity is the sounds of torture you may so willingly be inflicting on those that love you? what if you were trapped and never had someone to pull you out but could still never breathe your last breath... i would really like to get to know you. PM me please?


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Re: watery death. a feeling so good yet so bad - July 13th 2011, 02:42 AM

That must have been a traumatic situation for you and all the people who witnessed your two attempts. Do you have any reason as to why you were feeling like you wanted to drown? You should feel lucky that you had people with you to pull you out of the water. Just try to remember that they did so because the clearly care about you. Hang in there


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