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Depression and Suicide If you or a loved one is feeling depressed or suicidal, you are not alone. Talk with other users about your feelings here.

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School - August 14th 2011, 01:21 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of suicide, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread therefore might not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

There's always thoughts in the back of my head that I wish I wasn't alive. The thoughts haven't gotten too bad because when it gets to a certain point I self injure. The beginning of school is always the worst. If I hadn't been seeing a counselor at the start of last school year I probably would have killed myself. Things are different this time around. I desperately want things to fuck up. I'm aching for a reason to snap and just end it. The hope that maybe I'll finally die is the only thing I'm looking forward to this year. I don't know what to do
   
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Re: School - August 14th 2011, 02:14 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by Resolute Runner View Post
There's always thoughts in the back of my head that I wish I wasn't alive. The thoughts haven't gotten too bad because when it gets to a certain point I self injure. The beginning of school is always the worst. If I hadn't been seeing a counselor at the start of last school year I probably would have killed myself. Things are different this time around. I desperately want things to fuck up. I'm aching for a reason to snap and just end it. The hope that maybe I'll finally die is the only thing I'm looking forward to this year. I don't know what to do
aw hun, i totally understand what you are going through. have you talked to your parents about maybe getting a therapist or something for you to talk to? i think that that would probably really helpful for you... I've been going through a lot recently too. school is really hard for any teen that is different because of that we feel alone and fucked up. its hard to deal but once your get used to it you feel a little better? i understand why you want things to fuck up. i get that things would be easier if you have a reason to die. its awkward if you have no reason u know? anyway, I'm probe just blabbering on but know that i'll always be here for you. message me if you want and we can get to know each other and help them out <3


Everybody dies, but not everybody lives <3
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Re: School - August 14th 2011, 05:22 AM

I can't get professional help due to financial and other reasons relating to personal opinions(my dad thinks people should help themselves). Things never really get "better". They start out extremely bad and then subside to bad for the rest of the year. I really wanna just put myself in situations where I know I'll fail. Just sitting here thinking about how I'd leave plasters a big shit-eating grin on my face. Imagining that last breathe makes me so happy. My tears and smile don't go together right now
   
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