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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
Average Joe
ThatpersonIusedtobe's Avatar
Name: Katie
Gender: Female

Posts: 114
Join Date: January 7th 2009

Unhappy I want to be free... - March 18th 2009, 12:32 PM

I have been trying to get out of feeling depressed for weeks, but today it just attacked me. It will never get better, there's no hope left. I used to care about my family, i was afraid that if i died they will be sorry. I wanted to wait until my parents die and then i will kill myself. But now i don't care about them anymore, i don't want to wait anymore. I want to be free, when I sleep forever i won't feel a thing.

I'm just so empty. I'm just sad all day and I don't want to talk to anyone, I want to be alone in the dark. I feel bad with my friends though they have done nothing to me. I just feel so lonely, my family seems to be the good one but I feel like we barely have conversations. We are close but so far away...or maybe it's just me. People come in my life, and they have to go,so finally we are all alone. I have no dream, I don't want future, all i think about is death and I don't know, really don't know how much longer i can hold on, when there's nohing to hold on to.

Sorry for posting this, i just need out.

These walls that I can't break down...
  (#2 (permalink)) Old
*Jen* Offline
keep smiling :-)
Outside, huh?
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Name: Jen
Age: 30
Gender: Female
Location: England

Posts: 3,668
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Join Date: January 6th 2009

Re: I want to be free... - March 18th 2009, 08:57 PM

Hey Kate,
Firstly, never be sorry for posting. I am glad you posted this, because you do deserve support. You have to keep holding on Kate, because things and will change. I know you probably won't believe that right now, but it is true. You have to believe in the fact that it will get better. If you keep telling yourself that things will never get better then they are less likely to change. You need to think more positively :-) I guess it is really difficult though when you have been feeling like this for a while. Do you think you could confide in anyone about how you are feeling? You don't have to be alone and it can make things seem so much worse when you are alone and have no one to turn to. If you ever need someone to talk to then you are more than welcome to PM me. You can get through this :-)
  (#3 (permalink)) Old
Average Joe
ThatpersonIusedtobe's Avatar
Name: Katie
Gender: Female

Posts: 114
Join Date: January 7th 2009

Re: I want to be free... - March 19th 2009, 01:58 PM

No, there's no one.

These walls that I can't break down...
  (#4 (permalink)) Old
noise94 Offline
I can't get enough
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Posts: 3,231
Join Date: January 11th 2009

Re: I want to be free... - March 19th 2009, 02:10 PM

Hey Kate. I know you feel like there's no hope but I promise you, there is ALWAYS hope. Sometimes it's just hard to see. Don't live for OTHER people, like for YOURSELF. Because you deserve to live, and grow up, and have a wonderful,happy life. It IS possible. Live just to spite those people if you must! Live for SOMETHING, ANYTHING, because life is worth holding on to. You only get one life so live it your way. Live for all your hopes and dreams and if have none right now, make some new hopes and dreams and goals and reach for them! Show the world that nothing is going to hold you back. Walk through this scary tunnel and I promise you there will be light at the end of it. I promise.
  (#5 (permalink)) Old
MadPoet Offline
You're the Original <3
Outside, huh?
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Name: Amanda.
Age: 25
Gender: Female.
Location: Michigan.

Posts: 4,685
Blog Entries: 121
Join Date: January 8th 2009

Re: I want to be free... - March 19th 2009, 04:09 PM

I can relate to how you are feeling right now, and I'd like to say that I think I can understand, for the most part. Things are tough sometimes, and I know that there are a lot of people who are feeling and have felt similar as to how you feel right now. I do have to say, though, that I think there has to be at least someone that you can talk to. A lot of times when we say "there's no one I can talk to," it's really that we're electing not to talk to someone. Think long and hard about it, there has to be at least someone that you can talk about these things with. Someone at school, maybe? (If you still go to school, of course) like a counselor or a teacher? Have you ever seen a therapist or a psychiatrist? There's so many options these days and things that can help you, so why not tell someone who can make things better for you? You don't deserve to feel this way, and I really think you need to tell someone who will help you overcome this feeling. If you ever need to chat, I'm always here, so feel free to PM me anytime. I promise that things will get better for you, you just have to give it some time. Hang in there. x

A lonely soul in a land of broken hearts

  (#6 (permalink)) Old
Average Joe
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Name: Katie
Gender: Female

Posts: 114
Join Date: January 7th 2009

Re: I want to be free... - March 20th 2009, 04:17 AM

I really can't tell anyone about this. I have a friend, we talk about this but I won't do it anymore because it seems like i put too many problems in her life. And when she asks me if i have something to talk, i say no not because i don't want to but i can't explain how i'm feeling. I have felt like this for many times and everytime i told her the same thing. And I know there's a limit, at one point she seems bored and don't wanna talk about it much, so i will just stop.
Urghh I'm thinking about suicide all day...
and thanks to everyone btw.

These walls that I can't break down...

Last edited by ThatpersonIusedtobe; March 20th 2009 at 04:31 AM.
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