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Kate! Offline
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i need help - January 11th 2012, 06:11 AM

my whole life i have focused on making others happy, i have been then tiny bit of glue that has held my broken family together and whether they know it or not my parents have always pushed a lot of their problems with my siblings on to me. I have always taken blame and apologized for things i did not do and as long as the rest of my family seemed ok i just took it and held it in. i never complained or argued because everyone else seemed happier and for me that was worth it. now after years of living my life like this and having to deal with my own problems of becoming an adult and my dealing with my own life i couldnt handle it and instead of trying to deal with it i pushed it onto someone i love very much and it made him go away. i tried talking to him and explaining and apologizing. i realize now what i was doing and im so so sorry i cant expect him to worry about more then himself. i cant blame him for things others did. i know that i have problems and right now im at my breaking point i cant take it anymore and him leaving was the worst possible thing to happen. i dont want to do this i dont want to be alive he was my support and hes gone i know i need help and i asked the only person i trust for it. but when you know you have a problem and ask for help what are you supposed to do when the only one you have doesnt want to help you.
   
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Re: i need help - January 11th 2012, 07:19 PM

Hi Kate,

Firstly, I wanted to say welcome to Teenhelp I hope you like it here and are able to get the support you need. If you ever need anything then you are welcome to PM me.

I am sorry that you are going through all of this. It sounds like things are really difficult at the moment but things won't always be this hard. You say you have always focussed on making other happy and I think it is about time you focus on yourself and think about what will help you to feel better. You can't always be there for other people; sometimes you do have to put yourself first and that is ok. You deserve to be happy to. It seems like you have blamed yourself for many things which weren't even your fault. I know it can feel like someone has to take the blame and it is easier for you to rather than someone else but you shouldn't have to take the blame for things which arn't your fault. I can imagine that if I took the blame for everything that wasn't my fault it would leave me feeling pretty down.

It seems like you haven't really dealt with your problems and have learnt that pushing them on to someone else will be too much for them. Have you ever considered getting any professional help to deal with your problems? That way you won't hopefully feel the need to dump them on someone else.

He was obviously a big part of your life and it may hurt for some time that he has left. It must be really hard for you knowing the only person you trusted is not there anymore. I don't know if you will eventually be able to sort things out with him but maybe you will in the future. Perhaps he just needs some time and space at the moment. I hope you manage to sort things out

Stay strong.


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Re: i need help - January 15th 2012, 03:11 AM

Well I can relate Kate, trying to make others happy can seem as if it makes you happy but really it doesn't...making others happy is more of a favor or task. You need to make yourself happy by doing what you feel is right for you not for others and as you get older you will realize that, people aren't always gonna stay firm or together. And for the person you love that has ran off, well he will other comeback if not then he's nit worth it and you will need better especially at a time like that. I hope all goes well and good luck
   
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Re: i need help - January 15th 2012, 03:25 AM

I know exactly how you feel, sometimes I feel as if my family takes their anger and frustration out on me and puts way to much stress on me even though I am the youngest. So I know exactly where your coming from. Your boyfriend just doesn't understand, and you have to just ask him "If you love me as much as I hope you do, I need you to listen to what I have to say and try and understand." Let him know how much you love him and you would never want to hurt him, and if he loves you enough he will stay with you. If he doesn't, then it wasn't meant to be. But remember, you are never alone no matter how much you think you may be. You have all these people on this website who want to help you in any way possible Be brave right now, its going to get better <3


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