Procrastination, literally destroying my life, not sure what to do anymore.

[doingthegreatnorthernrun]

Hi All,

I might be to old to post on here, as I'm 20, but it helped me when I went through a rough patch when I was younger.

I literally cannot stop procrastinating. I literally cannot do anything during the day, besides surf the web some, and plan unrealistic futures for myself. I haven't been in school this past semester. I write online for income, but I can't even kept that up.

So it's the 13th (well 14th really). My rent was due on the 1st, and I'll be evicted on the 19th. On top of this all, my mother is in the hospital, and I am still struggling to make myself write to get the money to fly out and see her.

I am basically the most selfish, idiotic person ever. Somehow by Monday at 8pm, I have to make at the minimum 1200 dollars. I feel so worthless, because am I really this lazy? Am I really this much of a loser? I'm trying to force myself to write for hours straight, and I can't even start.

I'm afraid I'm going to end up doing something drastic because I am so lost. I'm probably going to end up with an eviction.... and that is literally the worst thing.

So, here I am, posting this, still procrastinating. This isn't normal. I don't know what to do. I'm most likely going to end up evicted. I think I can come up for the money for the flight----I don't think I can do the rest, that's such a big number, and I can't believe myself. I'd have to stay up 72 hours straight, and write 5 articles an hour. I want to self harm again because of all of this. Really who does this?

How much of a loser am I? I know this sounds so simple, and I know it's my fault, but I literally just cannot focus.

[Peppermint Tea.♥]

Hey there,

Firstly, you're not too old to post on here. There are quite a few regular members who are older than you, so don't worry.

Lack of motivation and procrastination can be horrible, particularly when you want to do something, or know you need to. However, you've just got to get up and do it. I'm a terrible procrastinator, but I found that making myself a list of things I needed to do in a day and giving myself a time limit for each thing really helped. It doesn't always work for me but it does a lot of the time. On that list I'll include a ten minute break for maybe surfing the web, every so often, just so that I don't lose the will power to do everything I don't want to do.

I found this when I was trying to write my novel: http://writeordie.com/#Web+App It really helped me because you can set it so it literally eats your words if you don't keep writing. It really helped me just to sit down and focus on writing what I needed to write. There's a free webversion so you don't need to pay for it unless you want all the extra features.

I'm really sorry about your mother. Perhaps try to use this as motivation? If you sit down and do a few hours of writing, you can start earning some money. I'm sure she'd love to see you.

Try not to focus on the negative things. At the moment you're sitting there thinking 'I can't do this, these bad things are going to happen, I'm so useless.' Instead, try thinking 'I'm finding this hard but today I'm going to write from x o' clock to x o' clock because I am going to earn some money.' It's easier to do things when you aren't putting yourself down.

Please don't self harm again. You'll know from experience that it's very difficult to stop and you know you shouldn't get back into that cycle again. Here is a list of alternatives: http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f12-s...ves-self-harm/. They are healthier coping methods for when you're feeling this way.

Take care.

[viemexis]

I can relate to this on so many levels. I'm 24, I am totally broke and am a freelance writer/editor, and I'm pretty lazy by nature. I can't say I've mastered productivity yet, but here's some things that have helped me get my act together (somewhat).

Try the pomodoro technique. The gist of it is you use a kitchen timer and work for 25 minutes straight, take a break for 5 minutes when it rings, and then take a longer break after you do this 4 times. Each 25 minute segment is called a pomodoro, and you set out to work a certain number in a day, for me it's 8-12. I find it really helps my focus to have a timer ticking away telling me I am trying to make notable progress in the next 25 minutes.

Make a daily checklist that covers how you'd like to spend your day, print it out and do all those things in order, checking it off as you go without deviating. Mine looks something like this:

• Rise with the sun (instead of the middle of the afternoon)
• Morning prayer
• Check email
• Mark tasks: work, personal, creative
• Shower, shave, get dressed
• Eat breakfast
• 4 Pomodoros: Work
• Break (30-45 mins)
• 4 Pomodoros: Work
• Break (40-45 mins)
• 4 Pomodoros: Personal or Creative
• Love someone
• Evening prayer
• Go to bed when tired

This all might sound like the product of a really anal type A mind, but actually I'm a really laid-back, disorganized type B person, but I do this because if I don't, I'll fail to get anything done.

Hope that helps. Good luck becoming more disciplined. In the short term you're still in trouble with regards to rent, so you'll have to figure something out there, but discipline will serve you the rest of your life. I'm still working on it, obviously -- otherwise I wouldn't be so broke, probably.