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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
shaannon Offline
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horses, persuading parents - July 6th 2012, 08:06 AM

For 9 years now I have been riding, when i was 10 i owned a beautiful welsh section A, i had her for 3 years but sadly outgrew her and was forced to sell due to separation and divorce of my parents.
However, my dad promised that when i was 16 he would get me another because that's when i would mature and be able to look after one by myself and have a job to finance it.
My dads wife fell pregnant a few months back and is due 3 months before my 16 birthday, my dad said because of this unexpected arrival he wont be able to afford one for my 16th, this literally broke my heart.
Ever since my dad sold my pony behind my back and didnt give me a penny out of it, i have never been quite able to trust him, i understand that all his time, effort and money will be in the baby but he knows im capable and will put my 100% all into having a horse.
I want to be a showjumping eventer, when im 16 i get to go to a college which supports this but im only aloud in with my own horse, if i want to fulfill my dreams then this is my only hope, i will never be able to get into the college i want now, my dad said he would pay for me to have lessons but only once a month, it just isnt the same, i dont know what to do?
   
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Re: horses, persuading parents - July 6th 2012, 02:58 PM

Attempting not to sound harsh (or jealous) but you've been lucky enough to own a horse already, i've been asking to keep one in the garden since i could talk. It's sad you had to sell it, and that your dad did that without telling you - but i presume he or your mum bought it for you in the first place, so the money isn't yours to have.

I can see you are passionate about owning a horse, but maybe that's not realistic at your age. Try looking for some part-time work, possibly within your local stables? I've found generally a summer volunteering gets your foot in the door and with those funds behind you, a 2/3 person horse share would be totally within your reach.

There are also plenty of clubs in your area where you don't have to own your own horse to compete. As for college, i assume you want to do some sort of equine science? I live nearby (Bedford) and know for a fact that you don't need your own horse to take courses like that at Shuttleworth.

Who knows, maybe showing your parents you've got what it takes to do it alone, they'll be more likely to helpout with a little investment


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Last edited by Debaser; July 6th 2012 at 03:05 PM.
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Re: horses, persuading parents - July 8th 2012, 03:08 AM

Well, I understand that you are heartbroken and I know it must suck, but you DO have to try to understand how expensive a horse is. It usually costs AT LEAST $250 a month for rent (and could easily be more), vaccines, the ferrier and emergency funds in case your horse colics and you can get a vet on time etc is EXTREMELY expensive. With a new baby on the way, you might want to try to understand why an expensive 1000 lbs animal might not be your dad's biggest concern at the time being. I mean, I love horses so I personally can see why you would be so passionate about this and you are incredibly lucky to have a college that you can go to with a good horse team like that. But what happens if you don't get into that school? What do you plan to do instead? Ok that aside, here's what you should do. Get a job so that you can start saving up the money for a horse, make a savings account and put all your money in there. That way you aren't just making it look like you just expect your dad to pull through, and you could use some of that money to get like a once or twice a week lesson if you haven't been riding the last few years, and a lot of barns will allow you to do farm work if money is an issue cause it saves them having to hire people. This way you are showing your dad how much work you are willing to put in and maybe you can revisit the issue later on AND if you have a bunch of money saved up he might just be willing to cover the difference. PLUS if you are doing a lot of work around the stable you might be able to make some sort of good relationship with the owners of the place and if a horse comes in for sale, you might be able to slowly pay it off instead of having to pay for the whole horse at once, though that is a slim chance.
   
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Re: horses, persuading parents - July 9th 2012, 08:46 AM

I have taken both your comments on board and had a long think about it, i agree with you both totally.
It was really selfish for me to say that considering i wont always be paying for it, but my parents will, I was just abit upset and started using them as a scapegoat for it.
I have just got myself a job and going to start saving and show how responsible i am to my parents, if i cant have a horse now im willing to wait, I have been to every riding school around my area and the only one i managed to like and got on well with the people there got closed down a while ago, so im going to start looking else where in close surrounding areas, if its once a week i will manage:-)
thanks for your help, i have been looking at other small animals to keep myself occupied and distracted and my friend has offered me to ride her horse every once in a while!

I suppose jealousy and determination has driven me crazy to have another horse again so soon, but being around them just honestly makes me so happy, i miss the feeling so much so its just hard to take my mind of it, its the only thing ive ever been able to excel at, so i wont give up that easy :-)
   
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Re: horses, persuading parents - July 9th 2012, 08:59 AM

Quote:
Originally Posted by shaannon View Post
I have taken both your comments on board and had a long think about it, i agree with you both totally.
It was really selfish for me to say that considering i wont always be paying for it, but my parents will, I was just abit upset and started using them as a scapegoat for it.
I have just got myself a job and going to start saving and show how responsible i am to my parents, if i cant have a horse now im willing to wait, I have been to every riding school around my area and the only one i managed to like and got on well with the people there got closed down a while ago, so im going to start looking else where in close surrounding areas, if its once a week i will manage:-)
thanks for your help, i have been looking at other small animals to keep myself occupied and distracted and my friend has offered me to ride her horse every once in a while!

I suppose jealousy and determination has driven me crazy to have another horse again so soon, but being around them just honestly makes me so happy, i miss the feeling so much so its just hard to take my mind of it, its the only thing ive ever been able to excel at, so i wont give up that easy :-)
Have you tried loaning? I had a beautiful gypsy mare on loan for a while and i didn't pay medical bills and farrier bill was halved, tack was already there so i all i had to pay was food and livery


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