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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
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Angry ARGHH!!! - September 16th 2012, 08:04 AM

Fucking damn it. Okay, I have a blood test on next friday! I have burns on the left forearm and I am fucking stressing out so much! I really fucking want to smoke or burn right now! Because, that is the arm where blood is taken from I don't want them to see!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's fucking bad enough thjat teachers could see but -lifts hands in exasperation- I just don't know what to do! The matches are right there and I want to do it, I have the house to myself for a bit!!!!!!!!

Help me, help!

Jay.


Buddy since 18/11/12 LiveHelp Operator since 22/12/12 Add me on Facebook Jay Louise Shorrock!
A whisper in the dark; is better than silence in the light. -Courtesy of your's truly.
My blog is open to all, those whom are easily triggered avoid, it's a story about a girl and her life and how far she has come over the years. If you read it, I hope it inspires you to keep fighting and to NEVER give up!

When you can no longer think of a reason to continue, you must think of a reason to start over.

Last edited by Palmolive; September 18th 2012 at 06:39 PM. Reason: Removing prefix
   
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Re: ARGHH!!! - September 16th 2012, 08:41 AM

Also, I have to mention, one of the burns is really itchy and when I touch it I can feel a lump under my skin. It's really tender and I keep touching it to feel pain. I really don't know what to do.

Jay.


Buddy since 18/11/12 LiveHelp Operator since 22/12/12 Add me on Facebook Jay Louise Shorrock!
A whisper in the dark; is better than silence in the light. -Courtesy of your's truly.
My blog is open to all, those whom are easily triggered avoid, it's a story about a girl and her life and how far she has come over the years. If you read it, I hope it inspires you to keep fighting and to NEVER give up!

When you can no longer think of a reason to continue, you must think of a reason to start over.
   
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Re: ARGHH!!! - September 18th 2012, 02:47 PM

Jay I hope you had the strength to leave the matches alone - someone close to me burnt themselves frequently a couple years back and it messed up her legs, its not worth it - stay strong, just find something, anything to take your mind off self harm. You're worth more than that.
   
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Re: ARGHH!!! - September 18th 2012, 06:33 PM

Hey up

Firstly, you say these burns are on your left arm and therefore the logical answer to me is to ask them to take your blood from the right arm. I know I've had to do this before and it shouldn't at all be a problem.

Have you tried looking at our list of alternatives? If not I suggest you do so. I'm not saying everything is going to help you and it is all about trial and error but you will come across ones that help you and that can help you get through these moments and beat the urges.

I was also wondering whether anyone knows about the self harm and how you are feeling? If they do then that's brilliant and I'm really glad but if you don't have any help or support, it might be a positive idea for you to talk to someone and get some help. I know reaching out for help can be really scary but I also know it can be well worth it.

And remember that we're always here for you if you ever want to talk or anything.

Keep smiling,
Jessie.


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Re: ARGHH!!! - September 19th 2012, 02:13 AM

Hey guys,
it's really hard not being able to burn right now. My mum and friends have seen the burns but I shrug them of and say I don't want to talk. My mum, however, like mos tmums pursued the matters and I am not being sent to a shrink, tomorrow will be my second appt.

What does burning actually do to yourself? I"ve been meaning to look it up.

Jay.


Buddy since 18/11/12 LiveHelp Operator since 22/12/12 Add me on Facebook Jay Louise Shorrock!
A whisper in the dark; is better than silence in the light. -Courtesy of your's truly.
My blog is open to all, those whom are easily triggered avoid, it's a story about a girl and her life and how far she has come over the years. If you read it, I hope it inspires you to keep fighting and to NEVER give up!

When you can no longer think of a reason to continue, you must think of a reason to start over.
   
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Re: ARGHH!!! - September 19th 2012, 05:41 PM

Hi again.

From what I have read, burning yourself can obviously cause a lot of pain depending on the severity of it. Minor burns don't often need medical help but can cause scaring. Moderate burns may require 'simple' medical help. Very severe burns will severely scare a persons body. Severe burns will need medical help and a referral to a burns unit may be needed. And of course there is always the risk of infection. And if you are ever worried that a burn is infected, its important to seek medical help as anti-biotics may be needed to treat the infection. If you don't seek help and the burn gets severely infected, it can lead to septicemia or amputation. Septicemia can cause death.

I hope none of this scared you and again, for death or amputation, the burns would have to be extremely severe and I expect this rarely happens. But if you don't stop self harming, it's very important that you self harm in a safe way and work towards stopping. I know stopping is hard, but you don't deserve the pain you are putting yourself through. You're worth so much more than it and you CAN beat this.

I hope you are well,
Jessie


"Only in the dark, can you see the stars..."
Josie 12/3/2014, always in my heart. Sue 19/2/2016; Peter, Ellie, Hannah, Andy, Kirtsie RIP.

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Re: ARGHH!!! - September 20th 2012, 01:07 AM

I've become addicted to it, and all I can think about it pain. I used to pinch, bite and punch the wall to induce pain, I used to flick rubber bands on my wrists, hairties. I'ev tried and tried so many things but I am afraid that if I'm left alone I'll do it again. I know where the matches are hidden, I know how to hide it for an amount of time but I'd feel so guilty, my mum told me she had a nightmare of me cutting, too deeply and that there was blood everywhere. I don't want to hurt her, I want to hurt myself....

Jay.


Buddy since 18/11/12 LiveHelp Operator since 22/12/12 Add me on Facebook Jay Louise Shorrock!
A whisper in the dark; is better than silence in the light. -Courtesy of your's truly.
My blog is open to all, those whom are easily triggered avoid, it's a story about a girl and her life and how far she has come over the years. If you read it, I hope it inspires you to keep fighting and to NEVER give up!

When you can no longer think of a reason to continue, you must think of a reason to start over.
   
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Re: ARGHH!!! - September 20th 2012, 01:24 AM

You can stop self harm it may seem hard but people can stop anything but they just think they can't.My mom stoped smoking in like 2 hours, so I beleave you can stop self harm.
   
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Re: ARGHH!!! - September 20th 2012, 01:29 AM

Hi there.

Honestly? For one reason or another you find that when you self harm, it hurts. So for you, right now the logical thing for you to do when you feel low, sad etc, is to hurt yourself. Because I mean, why wouldn't you do that if that has helped you in the past? And yes, right now in the moment it may feel it helps and I can relate to that. But it is not going to solve anything in the long run, at all.

Honestly, it's wonderful that you have tried lot's of different alternatives to try and help you when you have the urges to hurt yourself. But just because the things yo have tried, haven't worked, doesn't mean there is nothing that is going to help you. Its important you keep trying. From what you have said, it seems like you have tried a lot of things that still cause some pain IE flicking bands on your skin. How about trying something which is more about distracting yourself?Such as reading, writing, meeting a friend, doing art, watching a film, taking a bath, going to the gym and so on. Keep on trying new things.

At the end of the day, as hard as it is, you are in control and the only person who can stop you from self harming, is yourself. No one else can do it for you. People can advise you and support you but at the end of the day it's all down to you. And you can do it. If you stay determined and set your mind to it, you can and will get there.

And lastly, let people in and let them help because even just talking can do a person the world of good. People can be there to support you but you have to let them in.

Hang in there, you can do this.
Jessie


"Only in the dark, can you see the stars..."
Josie 12/3/2014, always in my heart. Sue 19/2/2016; Peter, Ellie, Hannah, Andy, Kirtsie RIP.

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Re: ARGHH!!! - September 20th 2012, 02:09 AM

I have to tell my therapist of my depression tonight and I really feel as if I can't control anything anymore. I was a total control freak and now I've lost control on everything! It is driving me crazy, as everything slowly spins out of my grasp. I write books, but it's about crime, can't change my genre because that is the only thing I am good at. I play videogames, usually Sims so it takes my mind off a lot of thing but I always have an ear to the world, listening intently for something....

It just feels like the end. I'm stuck in a corner, the only way out is too hard and the way back has closed up. I'm not strong anymoe, in fact I am weak. I have suffered in silence to long and then I found this site. It helped to be able to share my stories, but now they are out there, it feels like the good memories are slowly fading, and all I am focusing on is how far I've come from being that happy girl who used to run into her mother's arms, with a father-figure right beside her, letting me ride on his shoulders.... Then he disappeared, in a blink of an eye my life crumbled back then. Then we were sent through turmoil, a big move, bullying, bullying, so much bullying, and then afterwards I landed in a good school, grades shot up. I was halfway sane again. And now, look at me. Burns on my wrists, struggling with my past demons, struggling with the feelings of abandonment and the fact that everyone leaves me behind. They jog off, leaving me standing there, there with all my baggage, not know what to do anymore.

It's too much like the end. Would anyone in reality really care about me? Would they cry for me if they heard?
No. Because I am not memorable. Not anymore. All I am is a girl with too many scars, emotional and physical. All I am is that fleck of dirt which you brush off quickly. All I am, is a scared, pitiful, shell of a girl who has seen to much.

Jay.


Buddy since 18/11/12 LiveHelp Operator since 22/12/12 Add me on Facebook Jay Louise Shorrock!
A whisper in the dark; is better than silence in the light. -Courtesy of your's truly.
My blog is open to all, those whom are easily triggered avoid, it's a story about a girl and her life and how far she has come over the years. If you read it, I hope it inspires you to keep fighting and to NEVER give up!

When you can no longer think of a reason to continue, you must think of a reason to start over.
   
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Re: ARGHH!!! - September 20th 2012, 09:37 AM

Hi again.

I want to start by saying you don't have to be that girl with too many scars. The one who always thinks about the bad memories, who hurts herself. YOU can change that. Depression does not have to control your life but if you don't want it to do so, then YOU have to take control. Start beating this. Start pushing yourself to your limits and beat the urges and step out of your comfort zone. Its going to be really damn hard but YOU can do it.

What you tell your therapist and when you tell them is your choice. Thats is your control. And they'll understand that. Everyone manages to open up about things at different paces and no one us going to force you to suddenly spill to them about everything that has ever happened to you and everything about how you feel and so on. And your therapist should understand that and respect that. I know I always liked to be in control and therefore I always went at my own pace. Sometimes in 'emergency' situations I was pushed but in my sessions, I wasn't. You may be encouraged to open up but no one is going to force you to.

You're a hell of a lot stronger than you think. You don't feel like you are because beating this day in and day out is exhausting but you are still here and still fighting and that proves something. The fact that you have the strength to write to us here and let us know how you feel and whats going on proves strength. That fact that you're reaching out and going to therapy proves strength. You're trying distractions; that proves strength and hope.

I know this is hard I do, but I also know that you can do this and beat it and that when you do, you won't regret it. You have so much to live for. Keep reminding yourself of the positives; negative talk is not helping yourself. Maybe even make a scrap book full of positive things. That can be good memories, inspiring images, positive quotes etc. Then when you start to feel really bad, you can go through it.

You can do this. And I'd care. You're worth a lot more than you think.
Jessie


"Only in the dark, can you see the stars..."
Josie 12/3/2014, always in my heart. Sue 19/2/2016; Peter, Ellie, Hannah, Andy, Kirtsie RIP.

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