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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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lexi-babi Offline
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Relapse - July 27th 2013, 04:57 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

Before last night I hadn't cut myself for almost 2 months, and now I just feel like a failure. Last night while I was at work I was just really stressed, then got in a fight with my friend over text and then was dealing with family drama when my mom called, and it was just a lot all at once. I felt like an addict who was going through withdraw I needed to cut so bad. I ended up [EDITED] going to the bathroom to cut with the tiny blade inside. Now I am just really scared that since I've started again I won't be able to stop

Last edited by .:Bibliophile:.; July 27th 2013 at 11:39 AM. Reason: Removing content that goes against CoC
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Re: Relapse - July 27th 2013, 06:07 AM

Hey there,

Firstly, you should be proud of yourself for going two months without self harm. I know that must have been really hard to do. I know right now you feel like a failure but I assure you that you are not a failure. I believe that relapses happen when it comes to recovery and the best thing that you can do is pick yourself back up and try again. I know after you have a relapse you can feel a lot of guilt and shame but you can get over that by starting again. I've had numerous relapses and some have lasted longer than others but the one thing I found that works best is picking myself and starting over in the recovery process.

I think you should look at the Alternatives to Self Harm this can be a great link to look at when you are having an urge to self harm. I know that it can take a while for your body to adjust to the alternatives but if you keep turning to them when you get an urge your body will start to accept them. The fact is that self harm becomes an addiction and so you have to start overcoming that by replacing it with healthier coping skills.

Do you have anyone you can talk to about your self harm? A friend, a family member or another trusted adult? It can be really helpful to have a support network while you are dealing with recovery. I know my support network has been helping me in my recovery. Another thing that might help is if you looked into counseling. I know the thought of counseling can be scary but a counselor is a great place to go and vent, work on finding the coping skills that work for you and work on figuring out what your triggers are.

What are your triggers? If you can work on identifying your triggers you can work on coming up with resolutions to those triggers. Something that might help you figure out what your triggers are is keeping a journal. I have found that keeping a journal and counseling have helped me immensely in finding out what triggers me.

Something else you might want to try is exercising. I have a lot of anger pent up inside but no way to deal with it in a healthy manner and so lately I have been trying to get myself to go to the gym. Since I have done this I have been able to express my anger in a healthy manner. This has helped me deal with some of my self harm urges because one of my biggest triggers was anger. So, maybe if you started exercising you would experience the same thing.

I really hope that this helped and if you need anything feel free to message me.

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Re: Relapse - July 28th 2013, 06:32 PM

Hi, your not a failure, trying to stop self harming is really tough its like a roller coaster there going to be up's and down's. You could maybe try writing a list of distractions that you can refer back to when you get urges to self harm, here are some ideas:
  • phoning a friend
  • watching tv/a film
  • drinking hot chocolate/coffee/tea
  • cleaning
  • shredding
  • writing a to do list
  • going for a walk/run/jog
  • popping bubble wrap or balloons
  • writing stories/poems
  • snapping an elastic band on your wrist
An idea for you to help yourself stop is to use a glowstick, activate it when you get urges and tell yourself you can't self harm until it stops glowing; as it glows for hours by the time its stopped glowing your urges have usually gone.
Hope this helps, I'm always here if you want to talk.

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Re: Relapse - July 28th 2013, 09:11 PM

Hi there,

Truth is you're in recovery. Going two whole months self harm free is honestly absolutely amazing and you should be so proud of yourself for going that amount of time with out hurting yourself; it proves that you have the strength and courage to get through this and to beat self harm. However, it's not uncommon for people in recovery to have lapses along they way like you have done. I get that it can be really hard to cope with the fact that you had a lapse, but I guess you can either look at it in a negative way and allow it to bring you down even more and that might mean that you start self harming again or you can choose to use it as a positive, learn from it and move on from it, into your recovery.

Does all of that make sense? I know that beating the urges to self harm can be really hard but you can do it, you've proved that. At the end of the day it's in your control. The only person who can stop you from you - just know that you're worth more than self harm and that in the long run, it doesn't actually help. Its better to use healthier coping techniques. If you ever feel you need to talk to someone, then do so. We're always here for you too so you're never alone.

I hope you're feeling a little better. Keep your chin up,

"Only in the dark, can you see the stars..."
Josie 12/3/2014, always in my heart. Sue 19/2/2016; Peter, Ellie, Hannah, Andy, Kirtsie RIP.

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