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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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they need to know - September 14th 2013, 01:46 PM

okay so i've recently got a boyfriend (yey :3) but i'm worried about how he'll react when i eventually tell him about my harming. The scars and cuts are only on my upper thighs so they're constantly hidden and only my parents and an ex knows of it. I'm just really scared he'll not be able to cope with the news or something. Does anyone have an idea of when's the best point of the relationship to tell him, and how to put it across? I've never actually told anyone before, they sort of found out by accident...
thanks guys! Xxx
   
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Re: they need to know - September 16th 2013, 02:44 AM

Hey Charlie,

I think the best time to tell him is in the beginning. That way you're up front and you're both on the same page with things. You could start with smaller issues first and see how he takes those before moving on to talking about your self harm.


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Re: they need to know - September 16th 2013, 09:08 AM

thankyou, that's really helpful
   
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Re: they need to know - September 17th 2013, 05:27 AM

Hi there Charlie, I can relate to this a lot. I just recently got a boyfriend, and I was scared to tell him about how I used to self harm and deal with depression. Once I did though he was actually really understanding and glad that I was honest with him. He opened up to me about stuff too actually. We tend to think that our special someone is perfect, but forget we're all human and have our flaws. I think the best thing to do is just be honest with him, and if he truly loves and cares about you he'll understand and want to help you through it. Hope this helps.


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Re: they need to know - September 17th 2013, 04:57 PM

thankyou again, guys i told him last night and he was very understanding about it. Everything's cool i feel a lot better now that it's out xxx
   
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Re: they need to know - September 17th 2013, 05:04 PM

Aw, it's great that he understands! You telling him was a very brave thing to do <3.


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Re: they need to know - September 18th 2013, 06:12 AM

Glad to hear things turned out good!


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Re: they need to know - October 1st 2013, 07:32 AM

I am glad to hear that he was so supportive when you told him. You need someone to be there for you when you need them. Good luck to the both of you


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