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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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  (#1 (permalink)) Old
ClockWorkHearts Offline
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Exclamation Downward spiral - September 29th 2013, 10:53 PM

Lately it just seems as if I’m getting worse by the day, I’m either too spaced out to pay attention to anything or feeling this sense of meaningless guilt and regret for god knows what. I used to only cut myself when I was in an outwardly bad mood i.e. when I got too angry or upset to think of any other way to cope, but now it seems like I’ll look for any excuse to hurt myself. I'll pinch or scratch myself, even if other people can see, bite the inside of my cheeks and lips until they're raw or bleeding, etc. It also seems like when I do cut they are deeper and bleed longer, and also scar worse, but somehow the only thing I can think is how much I love how the cuts and bruises look. I just think that if I keep going on like this ill crash and burn.
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Re: Downward spiral - September 30th 2013, 12:13 AM

Hey there,

The first thing I want to tell you is that it is really great that you recognized the path you are going down is a problem. The first step towards recovery is realizing that there is a problem that needs to be solved.

Have you ever considered seeking out support from someone? I know that this may be really scary, but there are people out there that would be more than willing to help you if they knew what was going on. You can speak to friends and family, family friends, teachers, guidance counselors, school nurses, doctors, therapists, or another adult you trust. The people around you can be great, helping you get everything off your chest. They can also help you solve some of the problems you are going through, identify any triggers you may have, and cope with triggers better.

Maybe you can keep a note with you at all times, that you keep by your self harm tool and take with you to school when you do things like pinch or bite. This note is something that is encouraging to you. You can ask friends for encouraging quotes or find some online if you don't know any. You can even print out a picture. But, the purpose of this note or picture is something you look at when you have the urge to self harm to remind yourself why you shouldn't.

Alternatively, you can write down some reasons for recovering from self harm to keep those with you as well. Encouraging quotes and pictures are a great way to keep motivated. You can also write down some of the reasons you know you shouldn't self harm, such as the risk of infection, hiding it from those you don't want to know, and how it may hurt your friends or family.

Also, write down a list of any accomplishments you do make, such as resisting an urge or being self harm free for however long. These accomplishments can be small or large, but they remind you that every step counts towards recovery, and that you are doing better than you think!

Have you ever looked at the alternatives to self harm thread here? These are things you can do that are a lot healthier and safer than any form of self harm. They are distractions you can use. Some of them even give you a sensation other than cutting, which may be something you need.

Try and find ways to express your emotions as well. You can write, draw, or make or listen to music, for instance, because these are all ways to get your emotions out in a better way. Exercise is also a good way to release stress. Or, find ways to take care of yourself. You can take a warm bath or shower then curl up with a good book or movie, eat your favorite foods, or do a hobby, for instance. Taking care of yourself is important during this time.

Remember that even though things are hard now, with time, support, and effort, you can kick self harm to the curb. This doesn't have to dominate you. "Everything will be okay in the end, so if it's not okay, it's not the end." Keep your head held high, stay strong, and keep fighting. The fight is so worth it.


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Re: Downward spiral - September 30th 2013, 04:32 AM

Hey there,

I think it would be a good idea for you to reach out to someone about what you are going through. I know this might be hard to do but if you could work on talking to someone about this you could work on getting support for all of this. And, support can take you quite a long way. There are numerous people you can open up to such as your parents, your school nurse, a guidance counselor or another trusted adult. If you were to open up to someone about this you could work on getting into counseling for your self harm which could help you quite a bit. A counselor could help you work on identifying your triggers, work on finding healthy coping skills and give you a safe place to talk about things that are bothering you.

The things with self harm is that it becomes addictive and due to this you start developing the need to have to go deeper and, sometimes, you even experiment with different ways to harm yourself. I think it is possible that this is some of what you are experiencing. You might want to try and figure out what your triggers are as well. I know right now it might seem as though you are cutting for no reason at all but most times there are usually some trigger behind your urge to cut. So, if you can work on identifying your trigger you can work on trying to find a resolution to those triggers. Something that I have found helpful in identifying triggers is keeping a journal and whenever I get the urge to harm I will journal instead. The more I kept the journal the more my eyes were opened to the things that were triggering me. Do you think this is something you could try?

I think that trying the alternatives (http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f12-s...ves-self-harm/) would be a good idea. These will give you a list of things you can try instead of harming yourself. It might seem as though the alternatives are not working but if you use them enough your body can adjust to them. It is important to remember that your body has gotten used to self harm so it will take a while for it to accept something other than self harm.

If you are feeling the need to harm yourself maybe you could try putting music in and going for a walk. I know that I have done this in the past and it has proven to be really beneficial. It enables me to get out of the house and avoid the urges in a more positive way. Do you think that is something you could try?

I like Dez's idea of looking at positive quotes because that is something that I do when I am struggling with self harm. I think this could prove to be really beneficial. You could print the quotes up and post them all over your room and remind yourself of them. I have also found that making a list of reasons not to cut can be really helpful as well. That list might start out small at first but the longer you are able to go without self harm the bigger the list can grow.

I really hope that this helped and if you need anything please feel free to message me.

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Re: Downward spiral - October 1st 2013, 01:14 PM

good for you too realize you have a problem. thats the first step to help. now what you need to do is talk to a guidance counselour or a therapist and tell them. there is also a list of alternatives to self harming on here. please look at it. we care about you here at teenhelp and want to see you get the help you need. tell your parents and siblings (if you have them) let them know that you have a problem and let them understand it.
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Re: Downward spiral - October 1st 2013, 03:56 PM

I pretty much agree with what everyone else is saying. I am so sorry that you are having a tough/hard time right now. I completely understand where you are coming from. I was in the same position, you are in now (and maybe still am). I know how hard it can be to stop an addiction, like self-harm. Are you currently still in school? If so, then maybe you could think about joining a club/sport or two so you can do something that can help keep your mind off of things and the urges to self-harm/cut yourself. Have you tried writing in a journal? If not, I suggest that you think about writing in a journal. I know when I saw my first counselor here at the college I attend last year, he suggest that I try writing in a journal. We also have a list of alternatives that you can try, in this forum. We also have a first-aid link in this forum that you may want to take a look at as well.

Anyways, I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone in this. We are here to help you out no matter what and to be here no matter what.

I hope this helps you out some. Please stay strong and never give up hope.

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Re: Downward spiral - October 1st 2013, 09:08 PM

The ladies above have said more than enough to hopefully help you. But I just wanted to make sure I offered you my support also. It is a good sign that you are aware of the toll what you are doing is taking on your life. If you are focused on what goal you are aiming at, you will be alright. Good luck

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