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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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Unhappy help - October 2nd 2013, 03:30 AM

This thread has been labeled as triggering, particularly on the subject of self harm, by the original poster or by a Moderator. The contents of this thread might therefore not be suitable for certain sensitive users. Please take this into consideration before continuing to read.

i self harm, but does anyone care. no. my friends dnt even no i do it. i try to let them see but ig u only look at peoples wrist when u cut urself. i want to let some of my friend know that i cut because no one care about me, im alone, my blade is my only friend...everyone else left me and i feel like if i dnt tell people ill b dead soon. could someone PLS! tell me how to causal tell someone im in pain and that i cut? idk how
   
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Re: help - October 2nd 2013, 03:42 AM

Hey there,

It's so awesome that you want to tell someone about this! I don't think that it necessarily means that they don't care, I think it's just that your friends and family may just not know what signs to look out for. If they haven't had someone who self harms before, they may be unsure what to look out for.

I think that it probably would be best to sit down with someone like a friend and talk to them about it that way. I know you may want to keep it casual, but whoever you talk to probably would want to discuss it better to understand it more. One thing you can do is plan out what you want to say before you say it, so you at least have a general outline of what you want to have covered. Then, when you and whoever you want to speak with get a free moment, you can sit down with them on a day when they are in a relatively good mood. Then, be as honest as possible. I know that it will be hard, but at least if you're honest about it they will understand it fully. It may also help if you print out pamphlets of information about self harm, so they can get a better understanding of what is going on.

You can also write whoever you want to talk to a letter. You'd still be able to get out everything you want to, but you'd be doing so without nerves or interruptions getting in the way. You can either hand deliver the letter or leave it where you know you're sure they'll find it.

There are a lot of people you can talk to. You can speak with friends or family, teachers, guidance counselors, school nurses, doctors, therapists, or religious leaders, for instance. Therefore, if one person doesn't listen to you the way they should, don't get discouraged. Your voice deserves to be heard and someone WILL listen.

In the meantime, I will also give you this alternatives to self harm list. These are healthier, safer ways to cope. That way, you won't have to risk hiding anything or infections. Also, with self harm, the problems come back because you aren't actually solving. So, use a healthier or safer way to cope instead. If one alternative doesn't work, don't get discouraged. There are plenty more out there!

You can do this!

-Dez


   
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Re: help - October 2nd 2013, 04:19 AM

But idk how to start a convo about it? Any suggestion how to start it?
   
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Re: help - October 3rd 2013, 04:27 AM

Hey there,

It can be kind of awkward to have a conversation with your friends about your self harm but I think it can be really beneficial to open up to friends that you trust. Starting the conversation can be difficult as well. You could try something along the lines of "I have something important I want to talk to you about." And, from there you can lead into telling them about your self harm. If you talk to them about your self harm you might want to print out information regarding self harm because sometimes friends and family don't know how to respond when they hear that a loved one is harming themselves and the information you print out might help them to deal with it better.

Something else that might help is writing out what you want to say ahead of time. If you do this you will be a bit more prepared for the conversation and will have a better idea of what you want to say to the friends that you discuss this with.

I hope that this helped and if you need anything please feel free to message me.


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Re: help - October 4th 2013, 02:54 AM

Thanks for the advice, but the thing is I never talk about my feelings to anyone so its so hard for me to even try tlking to my friends about it...
   
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Re: help - October 4th 2013, 04:40 AM

Hiya

Talking to someone about your feelings isn't easy, but it's all worth it in the end. If you're wanting to tell your friends, try building up trust. A way to do this would be to tell them that you're feeling depressed. Then, if they seem open to discussion you can mention that you self-harm.

As Dez said, there's always someone out there who will listen to you. You need to be heard. As mentioned before, writing a note is a great idea for you to get all of your thoughts and ideas onto paper.

Keep us posted if you'd like. Feel free to message me anytime.


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