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Self Harm If you or someone you know is struggling with self harm and needs advice or alternatives, we're here to help.

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Name: Brenna
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Please help - October 27th 2013, 05:02 AM

I self harm (cutting) and have been for about 8 months now. I turned 14 this month. I have no idea why I started cutting and I'm scared to stop. I don't why I'm scared, can any one explain or relate to this? (I do not feel comfortable telling my parents that I cut, only my closest friend knows.)
   
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Re: Please help - October 27th 2013, 05:31 AM

Hi there,

I'm glad you decided to talk about this. Cutting and other forms of self-harm often tend to cause addiction towards it and may be more detrimental than helpful.

People have many reasons to start. Some put of curiosity and hearing that others do thw same. Some because they face emotional pain they are unable to handle maybe, and the physical manifestation is a reflection of the pain inside, outside. Some want attention, they want to tell people, I'm here I'm not invisible, please look at me. Variety of reasons. Do you think maybe something in your life happened that hurt you or made you feel vulnerable, which could have caused you to start cutting? Try and see if you can figure that out. It will be helpful to know. (:

Stopping, in general, like any addiction, any habit, is hard. Not impossible, but hard. Which is why you probably can't stop. When you start cutting, the rush you get and the pleasurable feeling that lasts seconds registers in your brain and you want to feel it again.

I'm linking you to the thread that provides alternatives to self-harm if you haven't already checked it out:http://www.teenhelp.org/forums/f12-s...ves-self-harm/

It could help you find different non-harmful ways to cope or wean away the habit. I urge you to talk to someone about it. Maybe the school counsellor. The extra support from people who know how to handle this will be very facilitating to you stopping. (:

If you need anything else, need to talk, message me anytime. Or reply here (:

Take care (:


~Through the wind and the rain she stands hard as a stone
In a world that she can't rise above.
But her dreams give her wings and she flies to a place where she's loved.

Concrete Angel



"And so I grew from colt to stallion
As wild and as reckless as thunder over the land.
Racing with the eagle, soaring with the wind.
Flying? There were times I believed I could."




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  (#3 (permalink)) Old
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Re: Please help - October 27th 2013, 09:50 AM

Thank you Kaveri, i have been trying to figure out why i started cutting but i can't find any reson. I would try talking to more people, but i recently found out that my dad (who i am very close to) thinks that people who cut are just crazy and deserve no sympathy. I'm not as close to my mom and have no idea how she would react, i would hope she would care but i don't want to upset her, or my dad. I also hate drawing attention to my self, so i dont want to admit to cutting for that reson too. I guess im trapped.
   
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Re: Please help - October 27th 2013, 02:39 PM

Hey, I know what your going through. The same thing happened to me when I was 11. I cut myself for 2 years before I decided it was a problem. It really dose become an addiction. Stopping was the hardest thing for me but, I now know if I hadn't stopped I wouldn't be here today. I still cut from time to time; I feel so guilty for breaking all the promises to people about stopping. You can't stop unless you are ready. You have to find something to do when you think about it; to get your mind off of hurting yourself. For me it's music and reading. I hope you are able to stop soon, before you start thinking about suicide too. Good luck. If you ever want to talk I'm here.
   
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Re: Please help - October 27th 2013, 06:44 PM

Thank you trystanzoom2 for that. I have thought about suicide in the past, and I really don't want to go down that road again. I think I will stop cutting when I am ready, I'm just not ready yet. I hope you can comepletely stop cutting if thats what you want. Thank you for being here.
   
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Re: Please help - October 28th 2013, 10:44 AM

Hi Brenna,

Sorry for not being able to reply any sooner. Oh, I see where that's coming from. I know how important it is for our parents to accept us and love us and sometimes their view of the world may make us feel like we shouldn't share these kinds of things with them. I agree. To an extent. I had a tough time dealing with my mum. Yet, you have to understand, when it comes to their children, sometimes their eyes open up a little more and they see the seriousness of why people do these things. Maybe when you feel more inclined towards it, talk to your parents about it. It definitely helps to have their support. However, do tell only when you feel like you are strong enough to take on what ever reaction they may have, good or bad.

I think you are ready to stop, that is, you want to stop, and that's as ready as anyone can get. Recognising that this is self-harm is one thing, wanting to stop means you're ready to try and stop. All you need are ways to stop. And unfortunately, it's different for everyone. However, you can try different things. Maybe go for a run every time you have an urge or have a cold shower, while takin care that you don't get a cold (: or turning the music up loud and jumping in your room. Try to get into exercising or doing some sort of physical activity when you get urges. I'll tell you why. I'm sure you're studying about the brain in biology class and stuff; Well you see, physical activity increases the level of certain neurotransmitters like serotonin, dopamine an endorphins in your blood which make a person feel happy and content. Don't exert yourself but try to get in some physical activity and see if it helps you out. Again, you can try out the different alternatives and see which suites you the most. (:

It just takes a little time, stick to it, though, and things will definitely start looking up! If you're able to get hold of your school counsellor, do so, and take up a little of their time. Maybe some close friends. Or even just talk to us here or start a blog. More than promising other people you'll try and stop, promise yourself that you will stop. You will find a better way of coping or a different outlet whenever you get urges. You need to answer to yourself. Be honest with yourself and it will become easier to stop.

If you ever need to talk anytime, pm/vm me (:
Take care x


~Through the wind and the rain she stands hard as a stone
In a world that she can't rise above.
But her dreams give her wings and she flies to a place where she's loved.

Concrete Angel



"And so I grew from colt to stallion
As wild and as reckless as thunder over the land.
Racing with the eagle, soaring with the wind.
Flying? There were times I believed I could."




HelpLINK Mentor - 2.4.2011
LiveHelp Operator - 18.6.2011

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Re: Please help - October 29th 2013, 03:37 PM

Hey, Brenna! Great to meet you!
As a cutter of 2 (long) years, I completely understand where you're coming from. The feeling of being afraid to stop is understandable, dear. It's something new to you, and it is frightening when you first start out.
I totally get what you mean when you say you're not comfortable with your parents knowing. Trust me, I'm in the same position.
Have you talked to a guidance counsellor at your school? They know what they're doing and they even recommend further help with even more experienced people. They say nothing to your parents, too. It's just between you and them.
Message me if you want to talk about it. I'm working on quitting, and I will do my absolute best to help you out.
Stay strong, Brenna! You can do this!


"Some people care too much. I think it's called love." - Winnie the Pooh
   
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Re: Please help - October 29th 2013, 07:15 PM

I'm so glad I have finally found something that can help me. I have been self harming for 8 months..... And it's scary to see what I can do to myself. But for some reason I just can't stop it's an addiction I'm too scared to face....
   
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